The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps HorrorLand #15: Heads, You Lose!

So far, the second arc of HorrorLand has provided some surprisingly good books. If anything I'd say it's getting quite the big head for itself. Can it keep that head on its shoulders? Let's find out with Heads, You Lose!

COVER STORY

I like this one. I can't say it's the most dynamic cover we've gotten in a while, but I do think it's still effective. Good use of color with the browns, reds, and golden yellows contrasting with the eerie green headless ghost leaping at the reader. In comparison to the other famous cover involving a headless ghost, this one definitely feels a bit scarier. It's just unfortunately one that doesn't stand out as well the other one. Still fine regardless.

STORY 

PART ONE

Our hapless HorrorLand guests this time are Jessica Bowen and her friend Ryan Chang. Jessica mentions that Ryan is about a foot shorter than her and scrawnier, but they both have one thing in common. They can throw their voice. The reason is because Jessica's dad is The Amazing Billy Bowen, a magician and ventriloquist. So, you're telling me this is a book featuring ventriloquism and Stine DIDN'T shoehorn Slappy? Some restraint from Jovial Bob, nice. Yes, I know about Slappy New Year, we'll get to that. The two kids find themselves in a magic shop next to the theater where Mondo the Magical is performing. They're impressed with the magical props, and Ryan even gives us the ol' stock scare by pretending to injure his hand with a pair of spiked cuffs. Also, he's a pickpocket as well as he steals Jessica's phone.

The two soon run into Mondo, who shows the kids some more of the magic tricks from the store. However, none of them seem to work, as Mondo's had a bad day. He then shows the two a coffin-like box called "The Forever Box" where once you go inside, you disappear forever. Ryan volunteers, and sure enough, he vanishes. Jessica thinks this is another prank, but Mondo is like, "girl, I told you it's the FOREVER box. What part of GONE FOREVER didn't you catch?" Mondo suggests calling Jessica's parents, but Jessica, both still skeptical and realizing she's not taking the rap for Ryan blinking out of existence, jumps in the box and tells Mondo to do the spell again. He does so, and Jessica finds herself slipping into darkness.

She finds herself in a different area in HorrorLand and is reunited with Ryan. The two soon see that they're in a gift shop, which leads them to be greeted by Jonathan Chiller. After an incident involving a skull-shaped candle that sticks to Jessica until she diffuses it, the pair look around the store, amazed at the many strange objects. But the one that catches Jessica's eye is a two-headed gold coin. She thinks it'll be perfect for her dad's act, so she asks for it. You know the drill by now. Chiller wraps up the gift, gives her a small Horror doll, then says that she'll pay him back when she returns to HorrorLand.

PART TWO

Jessica wakes up and has breakfast, while her father continues to show her coin tricks. Fearing she'll be late, she heads off to school with the two-headed coin. But upon making it there, she sees that Ryan is being bullied by a kid named Boomer. Okay. Boomer's a larger, chubby kid, who tends to enjoy punching other kids. He punches Ryan for making a joke, to which Ryan responds with "your parents made you, you are a joke!" Jeez, Jovial Bob. To keep Ryan from getting yet another pounding for that clap back, Jessica challenges Boomer in a coin flip. Heads, she wins. Since it's the gimmick coin, she wins. Same thing when Boomer challenges again.

Eventually Jessica and Ryan start to feel weird and dizzy. As if they've literally been flipped. When they recover, they notice that things look far different. The school is missing, the land is far more grassier and bug-filled, there's no streets, and their cell phones don't work. The kids make it to a large stone wall, and after boosting to look, they notice a large castle over the wall. The village by the castle also looks like something out of a renaissance fair. They find a blacksmith and ask some questions, mainly

The blacksmith is mainly just confused, particularly about the kingdom of Tampa and whatnot. He tells the kids to stay still, but of course, they make a break for it, with the blacksmith calling for the guards.In their haste, they trip over a large axe. Just as they pick it up, a net drops on them. The guards arrive, believing Jessica and Ryan to be a pair of criminals who murdered the prince. The kids plead their case, but nobody believes them.

The two are brought into a chamber as two men are eating a large quantity of food at a table. One man is Alfred, the Duke of Earle, while the other is Henway, his wizard. The duke also has a bit of a gambling problem, but Henway continues to not go in on his bets. They continue to accuse the kids of being assassins, the ones who beheaded Prince Warwick. Despite the kids claims, they're still not believed. So the two are brought to Prince Warwick, who, despite the whole, you know, headless thing, is still alive. A magic spell that he managed to learn that would keep his body alive even if he was beheaded. Since his head is missing, his only means of communication is to write his words on to paper. And he asks for his head, of course. The kids still say no, so he writes that they're to be brought to the executioner with their heads to be delivered to him.

And sure enough, the kids are brought to the chopping block with the executioner at the ready. They try one more time to plead their case, but we're just going in frigging circles right now. Jessica however, only has one last idea. Since the duke loves gambling, she offers up a coin toss for their lives if it lands heads. She uses the coin, and sure enough, it lands on heads and they're let go, despite Henway's disagreements. However, they're still thrown in the dungeon. In their cell, they meet a bald man named Innocent. So, when he says that he's innocent, he really means it. Innocent eats a spider, and that's all we get of that. Okay then.

Jessica deduces that it must have been the coin that brought them here, and if they flip it enough times, maybe it'll bring them back to their time. However, they flip it several times to no avail. Then, suddenly the coin falls out of Jessica's hands and into some hay. Oh n-oh wait, it's on Ryan's shoe. Crisis averted! The food man comes to give them their slop, but Ryan manages to steal his keys. The kids try an escape, only to eventually be caught by a guard. No, wait, it's just a weird guard made out of wood. What a relief. They enter a room filled with robes and put on a pair. Jessica then comes up with an idea. Since escaping the kingdom will be tricky, they should instead help Prince Warwick by finding his head, which should still be in the castle.

The kids search some shacks, but then enter a building filled with Rats. They run into the man who lives there, Simon the rat tender. He tends the rats to the Prince can feed his cats. He then proceeds to give the kids some rats, which leads to the kids being clawed and bit. Reader beware, you're in for the black plague. The kids run out of the rat tender building, only to once again run into the blacksmith. He takes the kids into his building, where they just so happen to find a human head. Not just any head, Prince Warwick's head. They try to leave with it, but the blacksmith threatens them. Then, two rats leave Ryan's robe, scaring the blacksmith.

Jessica and Ryan run off with the head, ready to bring it back to Prince Warwick. And how? By getting themselves caught again. They get caught and brought back to the duke and Henway, who bring them to the prince. They show Warwick the head, and he writes that, that isn't his head. It's a head of one of Warwick's enemies, since the prince really loves his head-choppin'. Boy, I bet he wasn't expecting such an ironic outcome for himself. The kids run off again, but notice that the castle doesn't have any cats. Simon, the rat tender, was lying to them. In fact, it's more likely that he has the rats around to guard something, like a head perhaps. The kids return and sure enough, they find the head. Hopefully, you know, the right head this time.

Before they can leave however, they get caught by Simon. But the book remembers the ventriloquism stuff from earlier, as Ryan throws his voice to scare Simon. The kids run off, only to be stopped by the duke and Henway. They tell the pair that they can't bring back the head because it was the two of them that beheaded Prince Warwick. Surprise, surprise. They liked the idea of having control of the kingdom, so the pair, in disguise, chopped off the prince's head and hid it in the rat tender's house. Before the kids' fates are sealed again, Jessica offers to do another coin toss for their freedom. She calls heads, but this time it lands on tails. Turns out that the duke switched the gold coin just in time.

They advance on the kids, but suddenly they all hear a voice. It' Prince Warwick's head, who just so happened to hear everything, and promises to cut the heads of the two traitors when his head is reunited with his body. The two try to grab the head, but after a distraction from Jessica, the kids manage to make a run for it. They make it to the prince's body and reunites the two halves. The restored Prince Warwick then sends the duke and Henway off to the dungeon. He then asks about the coin Jessica used, telling her that both heads on the coin are his. Jessica clues in on what happened. The coin sent them back in time to help Prince Warwick out. He promises to reward the two, then throws the coin back at the kids. Suddenly, everything turns again, and the pair are back where they left off with Boomer.

TWIST ENDING

Boomer tells the two kids to give him their lunch money. Jessica wagers again with the coin and she flips it. However, it lands on tails this time. To avoid being pummeled by "the mighty Fisto", the kids pay up. Some reward.

EPILOGUE

Jessica returns home, now lunch money-less, but still has the coin which she puts away. Suddenly the room glows, and she notices the horror figure that she also got. She ends up teleported back to Chiller House as Jonathan Chiller tells her that it's time to pay up.

CONCLUSION

Heads, You Lose! is an amalgam book. It's The Headless Ghost and A Night in Terror Tower mixed into one story. And both of those stories were ones I liked from Goosebumps. So, did they blend into a good story? While nothing in the book matched the insane conclusion of our last book, I will say that this one was still a good read. Once again, everything flowed really well, the story never really dragged much (maybe a few of the "we're innocent" chapters, but not as awfully as it could have been), there was some good creepiness in the story since we're dealing with severed heads, and while the mystery was pretty obvious, it didn't feel like a cheap conclusion. The twist was probably the weakest part of an otherwise solid Goosebumps book. One that doesn't feel amazing, but doesn't feel like it wasted your time if you read it. It's definitely one that feels headstrong. Heads, You Lose! gets a B+.

Next up, we have a longer book on our hands. It's the first Goosebumps Special Edition. Can Stine give us a decent book with 200+ pages? Let's find out.