We're into our second book in the second arc of HorrorLand and... oh no, this again. He's trying it again? Jovial Bob's trying to do the scary hamster thing again? Well, it didn't work for Monster Blood II, can this finally be the hairy hail Mary? let's shop til we drop with Little Shop of Hamsters.
COVER STORY
Cover is actually not that bad. I do like the design of the Hamsters, how they look like these large beasts, and their facial expressions feel really sinister. Right down to their two different colored eyes. Good use of perspective, just warped enough to feel like a Jacobus work. Again though, it's still hamsters, and you can really try your hardest, but no. These tiny ear, pink nosed puffballs aren't going to illicit nightmares. Good effort though.
STORY
PART ONE
Sam Waters is visiting HorrorLand with his best friend Lexi Blake. Sam also tells us up front that he really loves animals. But despite his intense want for a pet, his parents haven't given in. He also tells us that he's pretty short for his age, not yet getting his growth spurt. Lexi is taller than Sam and tends to try to help him out with things, which usually makes things worse for Sam. The two are just leaving the Werewolf Petting Zoo, when they find themselves to be hungry. Lucky for them they find a restaurant called the "Spear-It Cafe" that says that if you can spear it, you can eat it. They get greeted by man named Chef Belcher.
Wait...
Actually, Chef Belcher is more akin to Barth from You Can't Do That On Television, a gross, slovenly cook who doesn't mind telling you what gross ingredients are in his dishes. The kids order a shrimp basket, but the shrimp are still alive. Sam and Lexi realize quickly that the Spear-It part of the restaurant title is apt, they have to kill their food. But before they can think about this, the shrimp jump from the basket and start attacking Sam, sucking his blood like leeches. Chef Belcher pours on some hot sauce, which kills the shrimp. The kids, obviously freaked out, make a run for it.
They end up at Chiller House, the souvenir shop run by Jonathan Chiller. Chiller greets the two kids and shows off several of the wacky knick-knacks that he has in his shop. Sam notices one particular item, Insta-Gro Pets, those sponge creatures you soak in water and make grow. He also finds a candy phone filled with sour candy. He takes both items, giving the sponges to Lexi. Chiller wraps them up, puts a small horror figurine, and like last time, he tells Sam that he need not pay him now, he'll get his payment when Sam returns.
PART TWO
Lexi was again trying to help Sam, but Sam doesn't want an assisted criminal record. Lexi gets angry and leaves, with Sam now holding a hamster. He tries to take it back to the shop, but oh what convenience, the store is now closed. However, the door is still open. Sam brings the hamster back to its cage, but in the struggle, the hamster presses on Sam's candy phone and eats one of the candies. As he puts the hamster back in the cage, he gets caught by Mr. Fitz. Sam manages to lie that the hamster was caught in Lexi's vest and he had to return it, which Mr. Fitz buys.
That night, Lexi joins Sam for dinner at his place. His dad is a very serious former football player turned truck driver and his mother is also quite serious. And then there's Sam's little brother Noah, who may literally be a feral animal with how he smooshes his food all over his face and then licks the arm of Sam. Sam asks for a hamster, but his parents still don't think he's responsible enough. Noah acts like a crazed hamster, so to distract him, Lexi takes one of the Insta-Gro pets and puts it in a glass of apple juice. Turns out to be a bad idea as it grows so massive that it destroys the glass, grows almost as large as the room, eventually hitting the ceiling. Soon enough, it stops growing, but the ensuing panic is enough for Sam's parents to tell him he's still not responsible. The sponge shrinks and everyone cleans up the mess, with Sam getting rid of the sponges. That night, Sam lays in bed and eats some candy, which he can't seem to get enough of.
Sam's mom gives him his actual first test the next day, which is to take care of Noah while she's out. Lexi comes over and apologizes for the Insta-Gro incident. However, the two end up looking at Lexi's phone for so long that they forget about Noah, who found one of the Insta-Gro pets and eats it. Sam gets it out in time and the two try to get rid of the rest of the sponges. Noah throws a tantrum, so Sam coaxes him with the candy phone to help him behave. So, proving he's responsible on this end has led to failure.
The next day, Sam rushes over to the shop to ask Mr. Fitz for a part-time job. If his parents know how responsible he is taking care of hamsters, maybe that'll be the ticket. Lexi shows up and also wants to help, to the annoyance of Sam. She gets the job of wearing the costume while Sam works indoors. As Mr. Fitz leaves to the basement to get wood shavings, the kids notice that Lexi had left the door open to the cage and now the hamsters are all over the place. And then we get a chapter end scare where Sam thinks he crushed one, but just stepped on a non-Insta-Gro sponge.
After that incident, Sam is to clean the cage, meaning he has to go inside. He sees the one hamster from before that Lexi stole who leaps at him, knocking the candy phone out of his pocket. Sam decides to give the hamster another piece, but another hamster steals it. And we get a full on hamster brawl as the two fight for the candy. And when Sam tries to break that up, they all start attacking him until he leaves the cage, worried about what he's done to the hamsters. That night, he talks with his dad who is proud so far of Sam's initiative, and if Fitz gives a good report, he'll get any pet he wants. Sam then thinks to himself about why the candy would turn the hamsters into beasts. He's been eating them, and aside from some probably concerning face twitches, he's been fine. He goes for another, but his heart sinks. Oh crap, the candy phone is still in the hamster cage!
The next day, Sam bikes to the shop. Lexi catches up with him, in costume. Sam tells her about the whole candy issue, and she says she can help by distracting Fitz long enough for him to nab the candy phone. Sam isn't too confident, because as we reach page 83 of this book, her help hasn't been helpful at all. But she distracts Fitz for a bit as Sam looks around. It doesn't matter as Fitz ends up being fine with Sam in the cage so long as he's cleaning it. Sam finds the candy phone, but then discovers that it's empty. He then sees the hamsters on their hind legs, growling, snarling, ready to attack again. But he gets out in time. However, he still can see the sinister look on the hamsters' faces. I'll give you some credit Jovial Bob. You're trying your damnedest.
Lexi calls Sam later and offers to help again. This time, she tells him to check the box the candy phone was packaged in and call their number. He finds the box and calls, but when he has to do the unenviable task of trying to convince someone about scary evil feral hamsters, the guy on the line jokes with Sam that the candy is a flesh eating candy, before believing this to be a prank call.
Sam heads to the shop the next day and confesses the whole situation to Mr. Fitz, but oh what cruel fate, Mr. Fitz was wearing ear buds and didn't hear a thing. He just sends Sam off to clean the cage. Sam, now realizing just how screwed he might be, enters the cage to a mob of ravenous hamsters, who waste little time and attack him. And then they attack each other, before again attacking him. They're stronger now, strong enough to tear Sam's clothes and his jeans pocket, which just conveniently has the Insta-Gro pets. So, now we're approaching Monster Blood II territory as one of the hamsters eat the sponges and starts to grow, becoming as large as a German Shepherd. Sam, with one desperate act, eats the Insta-Gro and... well... insta-grows to a giant. Okay, NOW we really are in Monster Blood II territory. You have one chance here book. Open net. Can you get the winning goal?
Giant Sam, still in the now cramped hamster cage, now has to wrestle a giant hamster. And unfortunately for Sam, the hamster gets the upper hand here. However, in one last act of strength, Sam manages to slam the hamster off him and keep him pinned. Dave Meltzer would give this **** stars. Five if it was in the Tokyo Dome. Suddenly, both Sam and the hamster start to shrink back to normal height. The hamsters try to escape the cage again, but Sam holds a piece of wood in front of it. Mr. Fitz shows up and Sam tries to tell him about the candy, but Fitz reveals that this wasn't the work of the candy, it was the Vito-Vigor vitamin water he was feeding the hamsters. The water turns the hamsters angry and aggressive. This was all part of Fitz's brilliant plan. What plan exactly? GET THIS...
TO CREATE A HAMSTER WRESTLING LEAGUE! I LOVE YOU ROBERT LAWRENCE STINE!!!
a coronary, he also intends to sell guard hamsters. Not to mention sell giant hamsters to the US Army. Holy crap what a turn this book took. Sam, obviously weirded by all this, tries to leave, but Fitz won't let him, now determined to learn what the formula to make the hamsters grow was. He tries to shove Sam back into the cage, but the hamsters escape and attack. Lexi manages to rescue Sam right on time, finally getting a chance to truly help.
TWIST ENDING
EPILOGUE
CONCLUSION
As for the rest, it's pretty good. Sam is a likable protagonist. The book sets up why he's not very responsible to keep a pet, so the conflict makes sense. Lexi is also a good side character as unlike how Andy was the devil on Evan's shoulder, wanting to use the monster blood for fun, despite the issues in the past, Lexi tries to help with honest and good intentions. She cares about Sam and tries her hardest to make sure things go good for him, despite that rarely occurring. The pacing is also really good and I can't say the book ever felt boring, or had stuff that felt superfluous. It's similar to the last book in that it doesn't feel like much time is wasted getting into the story itself. And I'll admit it, the hamsters are written to be quite scary in how aggressive they got, so Jovial Bob finally succeeded.
Downsides to this book honestly were that the candy phone being a red herring was too obvious, and we have done this end twist so many times that you may as well call Vito-Vigor "Werewolf Sweat". Though now that I think about it, maybe the Werewolf Petting Zoo was a subtle hint, so I can't be that mad? In the end though, while they would be detriments, they did work well enough in the book's plot and flowed fine enough to not be a massive hassle. So, long story short, I was pleasantly surprised with this one. Goosebumps is in top form right now, let's hope the hamster wheel keeps spinnin' round. Little Shop of Hamsters gets an A-.
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