Raw episode eight opens with a promo from the Mega-Maniacs. Hogan uses the Humpty Dumpty analogy, doesn't mess it up like Dibiase. Jimmy Hart managed to get the contract signed, while Hogan spent the entire week hitting Brutus Beefcake over the head with a metal suitcase. I'd like to imagine Hogan does that even when not feuding with Money Inc. Their focus is less on the imposing challenge of Ted Dibiase and Irwin R. Shyster, but just how damn sweet their tag belts will look on their new Harley Davidsons. Hogan then butchers "getting to know you". Have I mentioned how much I hate Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake yet?
We're back once again in the Manhattan Center with Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and a thanfully not Evlis-ized Rob Bartlett. Vince tells us that if Elvis was alive then Bartlett definitely slayed him. It felt more like he pissed on Elvis' grave.
It's Los Noggerdores, Virgil and Tito Santana taking on the tag team champions of Money Inc. IRS tells us that thanks to Bill Clinton the tax cheats will have to face their fair share. There's definitely some history in this match with Dibiase and his former assistant Virgil.
Vince tells us that it wasn't the actual smashing of the briefcase over Beefer's noggin as it was the intention that brought Hogan back to the WWF. Of course it wasn't the smashing. You heard the man. He'll bash Bruti's brains in for the fun of it, and Bruti will come back for more. "Irwin" chant comes loud and clear as the match starts slow. Bartlett asks that if Santana wins if he'll take Ted's ear off. The hell?
Santana gets control off a whip to the buckle and an elbow to the face. Long headlock into a tag to Virgil as Ted quickly tags in IRS. Bartlett believes that Virgil and Montell Williams are the same person, because you know, all those black people look alike. Shoulder block, hip toss, and a series of clotheslines by Virgil as IRS exits the ring. Santana gets cheap shots at ringside, and follows with a double elbow.
Cover only gets a two. Santana now in and works on wringing the arm of IRS. Vince tells us that the Nasty Boys gave their title shot up to the Mega-Maniacs at Wrestlemania. Well duh, if Ed Leslie gets to kiss one ass cheek of Hogan, Brian Knobbs is there to slobber all over the other. It's the only explanation for being stupid enough to deny yourself a Wrestlemania payday.
Virgil back in to continue the armbar on IRS and tags back in Santana who gets an elbow off the turnbuckle, and follows with more restholds. Back to Virgil, and back on the arm. Back to Santana... aaaand back on the arm as we go to break. We return as Dibiase is tagged in and Santana is now in peril. Dibiase keeps Tito locked. Tito breaks free, but both men collide into each other. Tag to Irwin and Virgil as Virgil lays in the fists and a hard whip to the buckle. Another one and two clotheslines to both of Money Inc. Dibiase trips Virgil on the outside as IRS gets a big back suplex for the pinfall.
Not much of a match. Way too much focus on the arm of IRS and really nothing else that stood out. Pretty par for the course.
We then cut to a recap of the last few weeks of television as Tatanka has managed to earn several non-title victories over the Intercontinental champion Shawn Michaels.
One of the Raw sign girls is interrupted by Rick "The Model" Martel, who I can only assume is wearing a blind sea captain costume. He sends the lady out of the ring and carries the sign around. Thankfully it wasn't one of the fat models, which surprises me as this segment almost seems like it was rife for Vince's brand of "LOOK AT THE FATTIES" humor.
Our next match is Tantaka against Phil Apollo. This is not the same man as Ray Apollo who will later portray Doink the Clown following Matt Borne's departure. A series of hiptoss reversals leads to a hiptoss over the rope by Tatanka. A series of chops and buckle throws from Tatanka. Shawn Michaels is on the phone this week and makes a bunch of "Native American gambler" references. Though it's fitting since Wrestlemania is in Vegas, but you can't help feeling this is a tad racist.
Apollo rams Tatanka into the turnbuckle, and Tatanka begins his no selling war dance. Running clubs and chops from Tatanka, and his Samoan Drop finisher gets the three. Not a horrible jobber match, but Tatanka still bores me. Just mostly a bunch of chops and dancing.
Mean Gene runs down the Wrestlemania double main event card, and we're reminded that tickets are still on sale. I know it's a pre-internet time, but it's still weird to hear of a Wrestlemania not being sold out, especially so close to the event. We go to an interview with WWF Champ Bret Hart who says that he respects that Yokozuna has been undefeated and dominant, but that they don't respect him. The whole focus of Bret's title run to this point is about respect. In fact, the WWF even did a music video for Bret Hart set to Aretha Franklin's song Respect. It's cheesy, but I get it. Bret isn't the atypical WWF champion by design. He's not a giant, or some roided up beast. He doesn't fit the mold, and despite his accolades in ring still has to earn the respect of the fans and his opponents. We get a response from Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna who pretty much respond with Banzai.
We get a promo from Paul Bearer and Undertaker who promise pretty much to destroy the Giant Gonzalez. In this promo I really see how horrible a promo Taker was.
Rick Martel returns again to once again send off a Raw girl and hold his sign. THey really couldn't get the camera further up this woman's ass if they tried.
Up next, it's Papa Shango in action against Mike Edwards, who is a very hairy man. While questionably racist, I love the look of the Shango character from the design of his attire to the smoking skull. Big body slam and elbow starts things off with Shango. After a few shots, he gets a big ram into the corner and a slam to the mat. Shango denies getting the three and rips into the face of Edwads. Side slam from Shango and he chooses again not to get the three. He gets in a huge headbudd to the lower extremities and hits a shoulder breaker to get the three count in a basic squash.
It's Bob Backlund in action next agaist Tony Demoro. Vince immediately voices how impressed he is with Mr. Demoro's physique. Crowd is definitely behind Backlond better than they were initially at the Rumble. Backlund goes for a handshake, but Demoro turns it down. This goes on for about a minute until we finally get a lock in. Hiptoss by Backlund. Vince tells us that if Backlund goes to Wrestlemania, this will be his first one. Backlund tries to lock Demoro, and gets a hiptoss and a trip instead. Definitely a far more amateur wrestling style so far in this match over the other jobber matches. Vince tells Rob Bartlett that he can interview Rick Martel, so Rob Bartlett leaves. This Raw just got sixty times better!
Demoro is unable to get Backlund locked in, and both grapple again. Go behind by Demoro is bet with one by Backlund. Demoro gets an elbow to the face. However Bob gets in a crisp double underhook suplex and gets an amateur roll up for the three. A very different type of jobber match here, and I actually enjoyed seeing a far more amateur wrestling style over the basic "two or three moves and mainly strikes" matches we've seen throughout the last eight episodes of Raw.
Rob Bartlett is backstage with Rick Martel. The Model is quick to chastise Bartlett for his choice of attire. Considering what Martel is wearing I wouldn't be too quick to judge. He took the cards away from the girls since they're classless, and only he's the real model. He thinks perfection is boring (So by that, Rick isn't that good?), and that Mr. Perfect will see how the model has class.
It's main event time as we have Rick "The Model" Martel taking on Mr. Perfect. Rob Bartlett is back and singing the Gilligan's Island theme, which annoys Vince. We still have a month of Rob Bartlett left, but I'd like to hope that this is the point where Vince McMahon is finally realizing "oh god, I've made a huge mistake." Vince also believes that Luger and Perfect will be one of the greatest Wrestlemania matches of all time. Let's not go nuts here. I know Perfect can carry talent like nobody's business, but he's not a miracle worker.
It's evenly matched by both men early off as both get in headlocks, slams, and shoulder blocks. I'm almost taken aback. It's actual back and forth wrestling in a match on Monday Night Raw. Every attempt at offense by Perfect is met with escapes from Martel, including a nice cartwheel. Mr. Perfect manages to outshine Martel in the cartwheel department. Just a very nice show off segment between both men.
Martel finally gets offense with shots in the corner and getting a knee in the face. He suplexes Perfect and gets in a wristlock. More counters, and Perfect sends Martel over the top rope. Macho Mentions how funny Elvis was last week. Lies make Baby Jesus cry Randy. This is enough for Bartlett to bring back Elvis by "popular demand" and Vince wants none of it as we go to break. in fact he gives Rob the new name of Ramblin' Rob Bartlett.
Big gutwrench suplex by Martel is met with a two count. Hard right to the chest from Perfect is met with an uppercut by Martel. Martel locks in a camel clutch. The crowd is behind Mr. Perfect who powers out. Rob Bartlett suggests doing James Cagney as Savage suggests we don't. Rib breaker by Martel. But his attempts to slingshot over the ropes is met with knees. This doesn't deter Martel who regains offense. But an axe handle is met with a shot to the gut, and two different atomic drops. Hard chop to the chest, a whip and a biiiig back body drop. Match goes to break, and.....
The match is over.
WHAT?
I assume that it was a break that was against Vince's control, but really? We build up the big end to the match, and we don't even get the perfect plex live? This isn't as bad as ending the show in the middle of a match, but this is just frigging clown shoes. I mean, this isn't Rusev vs Sin Cara, this is an actual competitive match worth watching. Thankfully we do get the ending replayed for us, so at least they thought ahead.
And with that, I'll say that this was a great match. Back and forth, both men evenly matched. Lots of offense, wasn't just chops and two moves. It felt like a real match worth watching. It's kind of a shame that matches like this are as rare as finding a four leaf clover, but hey, who am I to complain when we get them?
Raw ends with Mr. Perfect bringing out the Raw girls that were ousted by Martel early on. Now it makes sense that it's not the fat girls. Vince would never give them a happy ending. Next week, we have Kamala in action, Razor Ramon in action, and a behemoth battle between Typhoon and Bam Bam Bigelow.
A vast improvement over the last few weeks of Raw, that's for certain. The jobber matches didn't feel as flat and lifeless as weeks prior, though the Tatanka and Papa Shango matches were par for the course. Money Inc. vs Virgil and Santana was a nothing match, but not offensive enough to complain about. But once Backlund got out there, and we had the excellent Martel/Perfect match, things picked up for the better. I also like that everything for Mania is falling into place, and everything is starting to have more of a direction. And there was only like three minutes of Hogan at most, so I really can't complain about that either.
However, I just can't forgive them for cutting to break before the big finish of the Perfect/Martel match. It feels like a case where even though the show has been around for three months now, Vince hasn't managed to book the shows well enough while considering the commercial spots. But with that issue aside, I'll give the show a B this week. Even with the fowling of the ending, this was still a decent show.