The Jungle Book 2

The Bare Necessities of Crap

Disney 2003

If you've been a follower of this blog for a while now, it's obvious that cheapquels and I do not go well with one another. And when it comes to the worst offenders in the cheapquel market, Disney is the grand poobah. From milking off franchises that were still new at the time like Mulan, or Lilo and Stitch, to milking the dry teat of the classics of yesteryear like Cinderella, or Bambi, For over a decade, Disney took happily ever after, and made it pointless. But at least most of these were only on video, and not given theatrical releases.

At least, most of them didn't.

In 2002, Disney decided that it was time to take the cheapquels to the big screen. In 2002 and 2003, Return to Neverland, and The Jungle Book 2 were released, and like most things littered with Disney nostalgia, they both did considerably well in the box office. But the fact remains, they're still cheapquels. Animated on a cheaper budget, still littered with awful songs, and still feel extremely unnecessary. Case in point to the sequel to the last movie Walt was involved with before his death, The Jungle Book 2. You ever wondered what happened with our mancub lad Mowgli when he started living in the man village? Ever want to know more about the girl he met at the end of the 1st movie? Or what's up with Bagheera and Baloo?

Yeah, me neither. But since we're here, let's review this thing.



We start our film with a recap through shadow puppets, as our protagonist Mowgli (played by former beloved child star Haley Joel Osmont), tells us all about the stuff that happened in the much better movie to his new family, that is until Ranjin, AKA the much needed annoying little brother, gets too excited and rips the screen down. Even though he wrecked the puppet show, he still knows how the story ends, which is of course with him getting the hots for the love interest of both movies Shanti. when it's time to leave, Mowgli cockily tells Shanti to watch out for Shere Khan, to which she replies that tigers never attack villages. Ah, foreshadowing not even 5 minutes into the film. It's a cheapquel alright. It also appears Mowgli still isn't used to having a family, as he still calls his adoptive father "sir". And it also appears that Ranjin seems more like he was raised by animals than Mowgli was. The next day, Miwgli and Ranjin decide to scare Shanti by pretending Ranjin's a tiger. And the sad thing is, she falls for it. From there we get our first song of the movie "Jungle Rhythm". Which would be a good song... If Haley wasn't singing it.

You were a good actor kid, just leave the singing to someone who's good at it.



I said "good at it"!



Mowgli begins to lead the children out of town, like some sort of mancub pied piper, until his father puts the stops to that. Mowgli gets grounded, and his father shows off some scars he got. So with our young hero confined to his room, it's time to check up on our old pal Baloo, voiced by John Goodman, who's still singing What else? Bare Necessities. But despite his jazzy tune, he's depressed that "lil' britches" is no longer with him, and that his coconut head is no good replacement. He goes off to see how Mowgli's doing, with Bagheera following him to make sure he doesn't cause any trouble. And we get some symbolic coconut head crushing from our favorite evil tiger Shere Khan. Since saying no didn't work, Bagheera calls for Colonel Hahti and the elephants to keep our bear pal from going to the village. However, they prove their uselessness as Baloo easily escapes, with Shere Kahn following. Remember the 4 Beatle buzzards? Well, they have a 5th member now, affectionately named Lucky who's an annoying prick, who's constant insulting of Khan is obviously gonna lead to his eventual death. At least, I hope it does.



Baloo and Mowgli reunite. But before they can burst into song, Shanti interrupts by waking the village when she sees a bear with Mowgli. And hey look, Shere Khan's attacking the village. Good to see the foreshadowing paying off. Since Shanti and Ranjin are the only two less concerned about a tiger attacking the village, they go off to the jungle to find Mowgli. Finally free from the village, Mowgli and Baloo talk for a bit, and sing, what else? Bare Necessities. You know, I love the song, but this is a sequel. It doesn't really say much if you can't come up with new songs, and have to leech off the classics. Plus, again, Haley Joel should not sing ever. Hell, It's bad enough I had to deal with that his bad singing in Kingdom Hearts 2. And while this is happening, Kaa the snake (voiced by Our old pal Jim Cummings) is constantly being pummeled, and utters easily the best line of the movie.



"I so despise the song and dance routine."



But it doesn't take our evil Winnie the Pooh voiced viper to find another target, this time being Shanti. But Ranjin comes to her aid. After getting his ass kicked by a toddler, Kaa then gets interrogated by Shere Khan, Who I forgot to mention is voiced by the late Tony Jay AKA, the coolest villain voice ever. Including my personal fave..


Good old Megabyte.



The next day, the entire jungle is in an uproar because Man has entered the forest... I mean, Jungle. Bagheera realizes what Baloo did, and goes to see if Mowgli's with him, but the two BS him into leaving. However, when the duo learn that Shanti's approaching, Mowgli has Baloo try to scare her. Meanwhile Khan learns that Kaa sent him the wrong way. But what's worse is that Lucky and the buzzards are still following him. Lucky continues to tempt the fate of the already angry tiger. And Shere Khan does what we were all hoping he would, kill the annoying douche. And since this movie needs to rehash everything, Baloo and Mowgli head to see King Louie's monkeys. Time for another song from Baloo. I can stand Goodman singing. At least it seems like he's trying. Though the only good part of this whole number is the not necessary Timon and Pumbaa background cameo. After the song, Mowgli begins to realise that he misses the village, when he finally meets up with Shanti and Ranjin. Baloo tries to scare her, and fails miserably. Also, while I'm asking, how can Shanti understand Baloo? I mean, Mowgli, i can undestand. Being raised by wolves, and his life in the jungle. But since this is Shanti's first time even in... ah, screw it. Like I'm gonna get logic from a Disney cartoon.



And of course she gets pissed about his plan to scare her. But in her running from Mowgli, she leads herself and Ranjin right to Shere Khan. Mowgli tries to lead the tiger to King Louie's temple/volcano (Where the heck is King Louie at anyways) . The rest of the gang follow, along with Bagheera, as we get the final face off between mancub and tiger....

Which boils down to Shanti, Mowgli, and Baloo banging gongs and annoying Shere Khan. But when Shanti's gong breaks, our mancub hero comes to her aid by having Khan chase him, leading to Baloo channeling his inner Monty Brown and pulling off the POUNCE!


PERIOD!



The kids end up on the top of the volcano, as Khan persues them, the three fall in, but fortunately for them Baloo rescues the two, but Shere Khan gets trapped inside the volcano, as Lucky (who for some reason survived their last encounter), heckles the tiger for all eternity. The village finally finds the kids, and Baloo finally lets Mowgli stay in the village. But in the end he still goes and visits our bear pal every day, and sing WHAT ELSE??? BARE FREAKIN' NECESSITIES! Movie over.

And that's Jungle Book 2. Why this got a theatrical release is beyond me. Dull plot, no really good new songs, and they've officially whored a beloved Disney song to death. What a shame. But at least the animation was decent. Even for a cheapquel.

Also, where was King Louie? He was my favorite character in the original, and he's nowhere to be seen. With all the whoring of Bare Necessities, they could've at least reprised "I wanna be like you" some. And no, that piece of crap Smash Mouth version does not count. Oobie Doo, that version stinks like poo.