Gooseblog: Goosebumps Most Wanted Special Edition #2: The 12 Screams Of Christmas

Joyeux Noel everyone! It's Christmastime once again, and I'm in a rare festive spirit. Festive enough to actually provide content during the holiday season at least. And since I've really let Goosebumps enter my life this year, for good and for bad, I decided that I'd offer a way out of order Christmas present in a Goosebumps book about Christmas. So, if you're reading when god knows I'll be able to catch up to this book, you might be a bit confused, but we'll save that for the ghost of Christmas yet to come.

Oddly, Goosebumps is a series that rarely touches many holidays outside of Halloween. You can look almost everywhere in the series and bump into at least several books based on the holiday. But Christmas is something that barely got representation. There are books set around Christmas, but the holiday barely plays a pivotal role. I dunno if that has to do with Stine being Jewish and not fully celebrating, or he just couldn't get the same level of mileage that he could with Halloween. Honestly, there are only three books I can recall that focus on Christmas. More and More and More Tales To Give You Goosebumps, which compiles ten short stories mostly focused on winter and the holiday season, the cancelled Goosebumps Gold book Happy Holidays From Dead House (yes, there was indeed a sequel to Dead House in the works at one point) and the book we're covering today, from the Most Wanted series, The 12 Screams Of Christmas.

So since we're in the past and not in order, Most Wanted is the third series that followed the 2008 return of Goosebumps. After Horrorland came Hall of Horrors, followed by the Most Wanted series, which was a mix of new villains and plenty of classics from the past. Although classics is a term I use loosely since there's another frigging Lawn Gnomes book in this set. Periodically, there would be special edition books released, being longer books overall at well over 150+ pages. And this one we're covering today is the second in the set of four. So let's see if Stine can give us a cup of holiday cheer, or leave us feeling full on Bah Humbug.

COVER STORY

This cover is fine. I like the oddly festive feel to the dilapidated house in the background, and the little snowman is a cute touch. But the selling point is of course the ghost, who gives off a fine enough creeper face, but given his festive sweater and Christmas light attire, is definitely more festive than frightening. So scary by no means, but for something that's meant to scream "Christmas", it works fine enough.

STORY

We open the book with a prologue to 1882 (John Smith 1882? My mistake!)  as we follow a boy named Abe Marcus, his twin brother Ned and their eight year old sister Flora. Abe's the serious one, while Ned is the prankster. He once put molasses in the inkwells at school and got in trouble for it, but wasn't punished by his parents since they were all moving to a new house. Yes, even in the 1800s there were Goosebumps parents. But they are moving into a gigantic new house, the one you see on the book cover. The kids are super excited, and can't wait to explore their new backyard, though Mr. Powell, their new neighbor warns them to stay away from the old well, which is a safety hazard.

The kids spot an old shack and decide to investigate, despite Abe's superstitions about ghosts. Ned pranks him over it, but their focus shifts on a weird gray orb in the room, which Ned pokes. Turns out it's a wasp's nest and the bugs start stinging them until they run out of the shack. The kids celebrate by dancing. Flora joins in, conveniently dancing on the old well. So, you can clearly guess what happens next. Yup, Flora takes a tumble in the well. Abe and Ned get their parents, who try to use a rope and a bucket to lift her out, but the rope breaks and Flora falls to her doom. She screams for help twelve times, then silence. So, child death to kick the book off. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Probably should have put a sign up.

We flash forward to modern times, in this case 2014. And our new protagonist is Kate Welles. After an argument with Courtney Smith gets her to stay after school, she ends up late to rehearse the upcoming Christmas play with her friend Jack Hopper at her house. Desperate to get home in time, she decides to cut through the cemetery, something she's stopped doing since some vague incident the previous fall. But not long after entering the cemetery does she start to hear moans. Turns out that Kate's got a bit of the Paranorman in her as she can see ghosts. And since she's in a cemetery she sees lots of them, including one bearded ghost that starts to approach her, until Jack shows up and they vanish. As she tries to BS to Jack about the ghost thing (since her revelation a while ago to them just got her mocked), they talk about her issues with Courtney and how Kate really wants to show her up by getting the lead role in the upcoming play. She then sees a black cat... no wait, it's the ghost of a black cat.

Back at Kate's house, they continue rehearsing until Kate suddenly hears piano music. Oh no! A ghost must be playing the PianOh wait it's just mom's ringtone. This is going to be like most of the chapter cliffhangers ain't it? And considering this is a 174 page book, oh dear. They talk some more about Kate's issues with Courtney, particularly in the facts that it was Courtney who started calling her Ghost Girl and that maybe Kate cost the gymnastics team a victory since she may have seen a ghost in the bleachers. But now they both see a ghOh wait, it's just Courtney in ghost makeup. Told ya. Courtney is there to rehearse as well, since she think's she's a lock for the lead role, to which Kate promises that she won't be.

We get to the auditions where the teacher, Mr. Piccolo (insert a Dragon Ball reference here if you must) also reminds the kids that the play is based on a supposed true story. Eighty years ago, a sickly boy named Cliff wanted to perform in the school play. On the night of the play, Cliff performed amazingly, almost as if he wasn't sick. When everyone went to congratulate him afterwards, he was nowhere to be found. The drama coach called Cliff's mother only to find out that Cliff had died the day prior. But if Cliff died before that, then how did he perform on stage? Also, that's two dead kids we're talking about in this book so far. Plus the graveyard scene mentioned ghosts of children. Stine's really in kid killing mood this time of the year. As a tradition, they leave a seat in the balcony free, believing Cliff will watch. And then Kate sees Cliff on the balcOh wait, it was just some seventh grader named Paco who is in charge of the lights and sound for the play. I'm only 55 pages in BTW.

Kate is sent by Mr. Piccolo to get the clipboard he conveniently forgot in his classroom. Kate goes to get it, but in trying to inspect if she got the part early, the door locks behind her. After ten minutes of waiting for help, she then remembers that she has a phone, because we needed half a chapter on her trying to open stuck windows before this. Jack frees her, then tells her that Courtney tried to claim that Kate was sick and went home. Pissed, and thinking that maybe it was Courtney that locked her in, she snaps and starts wailing on Courtney. The two start brawling with one another until they suddenly start falling, as they somehow ended up falling into the school basement.

Courtney ditches Kate, who is saved by Paco, who turns out to actually be a ghost. He takes her to a room where the ghosts from the cemetery have gathered. They want her to audition, to sing the 12 Screams of Christmas song. She panics and is unable to, so the ghosts start grabbing at her. But oh wait, it was just a dream. She wakes up, learns that Paco's not dead, and that neither she or Courtney got the role they wanted, so they're doing chorus. And Courtney's fake limping to get the attention of Jack, because I guess there's also a romantic subplot in this. Kate promises to get even with everyone once and for all.

A few days later Mr. Piccolo takes the kids to an old haunted house, specifically the exact same house from the beginning of the book. After the kids drop their belongings off, they look around. Kate sees the well and is drawn to it, which causes her to fall in. But thankfully for her she's a gymnast as established earlier, so she escapes. Mr. Piccolo then tells the story of the family and the girl Flora who fell down the well. He says that it's believed that the family still haunts the house, waiting for someone to free Flora so they can be reunited. He also reveals that the family in question are his ancestors, but that while he believes the well story was true, he's a skeptic on ghosts.

As they rehearse their chorus, Kate looks to the banister and sees the ghosts of two young boys. She tries to contact them, but they call her Flora and promise to be back for her. Bothered by this, she goes out to the well at night and hears whispers of help. As she looks in the well, she sees what looks to be a red cap, one that Flora would wear. Before she can leave however, Abe and Ned, the two ghost boys show up and grab her, constantly calling her Flora. They know she isn't the real Flora, but will gladly take her as a replacement to finally make their family happy for Christmas and forever. Which means that yes, they plan on killing Kate. She gets saved by Mr. Piccolo, but she doesn't bring up the two ghosts trying to kill her.

However, when she sees Ned and Abe again, she blurts out that she sees them, only for all the kids to laugh and mock her. She runs off in a rage, only to smash into a bookshelf and pass out. When she awakens, she thinks she can hear the sound of people talking upstairs in the attic, it's there where she finds a roaring fire and a foursome of ghosts. It's the family, who all still continue to call her Flora and want her to stay and celebrate Christmas forever. Kate tries to find an attic escape, but it's a dead end. Then she thinks this must be a dream like when she fell earlier in the book, but alas, there's still a ghost fam in front of her. She sings a scary Christmas song from the play, but that just bothers the ghosts. So, they instead decide that they should move on to one of their favorite traditions, sitting on Father Christmas' lap. So, the father ghost pulls out a chair...

With a skeleton in a Santa suit sitting on it. Now THAT should have been the book cover. 

They shove Kate onto the skeleton Santa, only for her to trip and completely destroy the skeleton, which for what's been a dry book so far is a pretty disturbing scene all things told. This pisses the ghosts off some more as they don't like being disappointed, but then again, they choose this Flora so they only brought it on themselves. They move on to dinner, which is a delectable plate of turkey skeleton and mouse heads, which they again try to force on Kate. Next up is presents, as the family are hoping for some from Kate. When Kate says she doesn't have any, they get pissed and start turning more demonic. Eventually, they up and throw her out the attic window on to the roof. Kate thinks she's safe but of course not. The family grab her and plan to dump her in the well, when Kate says that maybe she can rescue the actual Flora and they'll all be even.

Her plan? Since Flora screamed for help 12 times, maybe saying "Come Up" 12 times might do something. At first, it seems to do squat, but suddenly Flora actually does start to crawl out of the well, but is unable to get out all the way. Kate starts to try and pull her out, just as Courtney arrives, still thinking Kate is crazy, but eventually helps pull Flora out of the well. Courtney actually manages to see Flora and freaks out while the kids laugh, meaning the weight of being Ghost Girl is finally off Kate's shoulders.

TWIST ENDING

After everything is said and done, Kate goes home, happy to have had her revenge. However, she sees Flora in her room. Flora has decided to stay with Kate forever, since her family kinda sucks, you know considering they left her in a well for over a century.

CONCLUSION

While this story certainly didn't need to be 174 pages, I will say The 12 Screams of Christmas was fine. It starts with some good old timey atmosphere before going into a slow second act. Granted, that act does do a good job of building up Kate, her plight and her ghost seeing powers. Kate's a likable protagonist and you do feel bad for her, as Courtney does constantly ruin her life. I will say there's some superfluous scenes like her dream about the Paco ghost, but it does play into the story proper with Kate not knowing if the ghosts she sees are real or imaginary. The other ghost story early on doesn't feel like it matters much overall, and they seem to build up Mr. Piccolo as maybe knowing more than he seems, but that also goes nowhere.

Regardless, the story does ramp up well in the third act when we get to the ghost family and in terms of scares, it does offer some really disturbing imagery. Particularly the meal scene and "Father Christmas". So yeah, for our first real foray into modern Goosebumps, this wasn't too bad. Nothing amazing and falls into a lot of tropes that Jovial Bob loves, but other than that, for a book about Christmas, it does the trick. The 12 Screams of Christmas gets a B.