Raw is live this week from Burlington, Vermont as we get into the next set of tapings. Kicking us off this week is Jeff Jarrett taking on Doink, who's accompanied by Dink, and...
oh dear god they're multiplying!
The yellow haired clown is Wink. And no, this is far from the last new clown we're going to see in the next few weeks unfortunately.
Raw this week is sponsored by Stridex pads. Can I use them to get rid of the three zits in the ring?
Jarrett grabs the mic before the match to proclaim his greatness as the greatest singer, wrestler and entertainer. Ain't he great? Doink tries to chase Jarrett, but he escapes to the outside. He grabs Doink's leg and bashes it on the apron. Upon entering the ring, he continues the offense, but misses a hip drop on the knee, giving Doink the chance to land a hiptoss and a body slam. He whips Jarrett to the buckle, giving Dink the chance to bite his butt. I hate Dink. I really do.
Jarrett misses an elbow in the corner allowing Doink to lock in a headlock. Jarrett tries to regain momentum with an elbow, but misses. Doink reapplies the headlock as Jarrett tries to pull on the wig. Jarrett puts in an abdominal stretch, using the rope for leverege. Dink keeps trying to get the ref to notice, but Jarrett removes his arm in the nick of time. After a third grab, Dink bites Jarrett's hand to force the release. Doink gets an elbow and a clothesline...
Queasy and another little king by the name of Sleazy (Yes, that's the name they chose and yes, it's going to get dumber from here) distract Doink as Jarrett hits a knee to the back of the clown, sending him tumbling out of the ring, allowing for the kings to lay some boots. Dink and Wink try to make the save, but Jarrett blocks them. Instead of the referee throwing out the match for a blatant disqualification, the match continues. Jarrett is in control as we go to break. When we return, he drops a leg to the back of Doink's neck followed by a nice dropkick for a two count.
Jarett locks in a chinlock, using the ropes for leverege. Dink providing a useless distraction as Jarrett continues his cheating ways. Doink escapes, landing a body slam, but misses on the diving elbow. Jarrett locks in a sleeper hold, but Doink escapes, only to be hit with an enziguri. Cover only gets a two. Jarrett tries a back drop, but gets hit with a nice double underhook suplex. Both men are down as the referee counts to ten. Jarrett recovers first and dives off the top, only to miss.
Jarrett tries a whip and a slam, but is reversed. Doink tries a move, but Jarrett reverses. However it's Doink who gets the momentum with a body slam. Doink whips Jarrett hard into Sleazy and hits a suplex, covering for a two count. Dink and Wink give chase as Doink tries another cover for two. Doink lands a whoopee cushion as the ref is distracted. Jerry Lawler arrives, dropping a fist on Doink. He covers Jarrett on Doink for the three.
Shenanigans aside, this actually wasn't a bad match at all. I rag on Doink a lot for the antics and, you know, this not being Matt Bourne and all, but he really didn't too bad with the offense in the ring. Jarrett as well put in more effort than just headlocks and arm bars. After a few lackluster opening matches lately, this was a decent effort. Shame it gets overshadowed by little kings and midget clowns.
Up next we have the British Bulldog against Roy Raymond. Some shoves from both men until Raymond lands a slap. Bulldog gets the advantage back, landing a back body drop. Bulldog picks up Roy Raymond for a patented stalling vertical suplex. He lands a headbutt and follows with a chinlock. Bulldog transitions to some more strikes and a double underhook suplex. Cover, but a kickout. He puts the chinlock in until Raymond rakes the eyes and hits some clubbing blows in the corner. He follows with a big body slam and ascends the turnbuckle. Bulldog catches him at the pass and lands a superplex off the top. Sloppy boot off a whip by the Bulldog, so still gets in a suplex for a two count. Bulldog lands the running powerslam for the three in a decent squash match.
We recap the past weekend's Superstars as Bob Backlund locked in the Crossface Chicken Wing on Arnold Skaaland. Backlund comes down to ringside to invite Vince to the ring. Backlund apologizes to the world for ever ascertaining Skaaland as his manager. He doesn't apologize for locking in the chicken wing. He especially blames him for throwing in the towel in the title match against the Iron Sheik. He did more to boon the lives of fans than anyone in the world. He has most importantly never eaten marijuana. He never swears in front of his children. He knows where his child is at night and she's not out with a gun. This is seriously the greatest ramble promo ever. He's proud of the chicken wing and that if anyone thinks they can get out of it, he'd be happy to put it on them.
He instead gets a challenger in one Lex Luger. Luger's heard enough about the Chicken Wing. He brings up the history of Backlund's bullying and tells Backlund to pick on someone his own size. Backlund says the plebeians will not help him as he marches in the ring. The officials hold Luger off for now.
Up next it's Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly (the Thurmann is officially dead) against Reno Riggins. Holly gets a hiptoss early on followed by a headlock and another back suplex after some counters. Holly locks in an arm bar and works some wringers. Riggins gets in a hair pull takedown and follows with a hard whip into the buckle. Holly gets an elbow to the face and goes to the top buckle. Riggins tries a superplex, but Holly sends him to the mat, following with a flying cross body for the win in a quick squash.
Up next it's IRS (With Ted Dibiase) Tim McNeany. IRS says that very soon he'll expose the biggest tax cheat in the WWF, The Undertaker. He rams McNeany into the buckle and lands a hiptoss. Elbow off the whip followed by an elbow drop. Hard whip into the buckle from IRS. McNeany gets in a roll up, but Irwin drops him with a suplex and locks in the penalty in a fast squash.
Our last match of the evening is the Heavenly Bodies against Nick Barbary and Barry Horowitz. Horowitz gets a headlock on Pritchard, but after several hiptoss attempts, both men end up in the ropes. Horowitz gets a roll up for two. He tags in Barbary as Jimmy Del Ray is tagged. Hiptosses and a dropkick from Barbary who tags in Horowitz. Del Ray tags in Pritchard, but get gets taken down with an arm drag and an overhead arm drag. Barbary is back in, but Del Ray gets a floatover DDT. He follows with a superkick. Tag to Pritchard as they hit an assisted leg drop and a falling knee drop. Tag back to Del Ray who lands a moonsault for the three in an okay match.
We end Raw with an interview with Lex Luger. He says that ever since he entered wrestling, he's heard of Bob Backlund. He doesn't like what he sees in Backlund. He issues a challenge to Backlund. It's very mumbly and stuttery, but it's to the point.
This was a good Raw overall. The Doink/Jarrett match exceeded expectation, although the route it's going is already making me feel ill. Bob Backlund's psychotic promo is a true classic, though this mini-feud with Luger doesn't entice me at all. the squashes were all quick and to the point. Inoffensive fare all around as we still have a product lull before the full bore push to the Survivor Series in November. This Raw gets a solid B+ rating.
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