Raw opens up with a recap of the brawl from last week with Crush and Randy Savage. Only now it's in glorious piss yellow filter. It's the second of the Pennsylvania shows, as we're welcomed to the show by Bobby Heenan and Vince McMahon. No Macho Man as he's been forced to take the evening off by president Jack Tunney. In the ring is the Brooklyn Brawler (guess the MVP character was killed quick), as he's taking on the Intercontinental champion Razor Ramon in our opener.
Guess who's back? Despite the 64% vote of no, it turns out that Shawn Michaels is back in the WWF. And in more interesting news, he'll be replacing Jerry Lawler as the leader of the knights against the Harts at Survivor Series. Vince blankets it as simply legal trouble, but it's a little bit more serious than that. It's a common knowledge story to most, but if you haven't heard it, well, have a seat.
In November of 1993, Lawler was indicted by a 15 year girl on accusations of rape and sodomy. However, shortly after, the girl would change her story saying that she made it all up. It's never been proven true, and even some rumors believe the girl was planted by angry wrestlers that wanted to ruin Lawler's reputation. Despite Lawler's innocence, it has become a running joke amongst wrestling fans, and part of a rather infamous shoot rant by Doug Gilbert.
This also explains the sudden change to the match. Instead of just cancelling the Harts vs the King and his Knights, they instead figured "well, Shawn's back, let's give it to him." Despite, you know, Shawn not really being a character that would hang around with knights. Still a quick fix is a quick fix I guess.
Back to the match itself. Brawler gets in a cheap shot as Razor enters the ring. He goes to hit Razor with the title belt, but the ref manages to pull it away from him. Some hard whips to the buckle follow that. Brawler goes for a charge in the corner, but gets a boot to the face and a bulldog from the champ. Some right hands follow with a big roundhouse taking down Brawler. He hits the patented Fallaway slam.
Heenan brings up that Shawn Michaels should still be the Intercontinental Champion as he was never defeated for the championship.Brawler gets back momentum and gets a stomp to the lower extremities. He gets another shot in and a cover for barely a two. He locks in a headlock for a little bit until Razor breaks it. He then quickly locks in a Razor's edge for a three count victory.
We cut to an interview with Crush who isn't too pleased about Macho Man's attack last week. Though he does gloat about kicking Savage's ass, and Savage being thrown off the announce team. Crush is trying for a bore evil sounding, and slightly more beathy voice, but the random brudda's s just kill it for me.
There's also an ad for the Survivor Series Showdown show the following Sunday on the USA network. The main event being Bret Hart challenging Yokozuna for the WWF Championship. They bring up Yoko's win at Mania, but somewhat hilariously treat it as if Hogan never won the belt afterwards. You know, the perfect world scenario.
The Headshrinkers are in action against the jobber team of the two Mikes, Mike Ronaldo, and Mike Moraldo (or Mark as Howard Finkel pronounces it). Heenan mentions that on Superstars this week, Vince will have a new co-host. That co-host is Reo Rodgers.
Pretty much just Bruce Pritchard with a really crappy Dusty Rhodes impersonation. And when I mean crappy, I mean pretty much just mocking the whole "If you weel" that Dusty was known to do. Thankfully this was a very brief character run. Not as brief as Friar Ferguson for Mike Shaw, but still blissfully short-lived.
Mike Bucchi squares off with Fatu to start, and gets some offense in. Tag to Moraldo and a cross body, which gets caught by Fatu. A dropkick assist from Monaldo takes the Samoan down, as he covers for a two. Both men try a cover and get a two. Savate Kick by Fatu stops the offense of Moraldo. Tag to Samu as both men lift and drop Moraldo to the ground. Fatu chokes Moraldo with the tag rope and makes the tag. Double headbutt and a cover, until Fatu breaks it himself for a three.
Big backbreaker by Fatu as Heenan talks about Heidi Fleiss and velcro lingerie. Fatu tears into the face of Moraldo, as Samu oddly wipes Moraldo's face with a little bit of empathy. Tag in and a double facebuster. One more tag and a splash by Fatu gets the victory. A decent squash, but not one of their more fun ones. Hell, Bucchi just vanished out of this match quick.
Last week on Superstars, the All American team were still in a situation considering that Tatanka is still injured from the Borga squash a couple weeks prior. Since they need a tag team partner to fill the final spot. They manage to find quite the interesting pick.
The Undertaker!
The best part of this whole bit being Bobby Heenan trying to make excuses for why Taker shouldn't be a part of the All Americans, specifically that you've gotta be alive to be in the team, and that who knows if Undertaker is from Death Valley. Yeah, he's clearly from Death Valley, Manitoba. That first excuse is particularly hilarious considering that Survivor Series had become synonymous with the Undertaker, seeing as Taker had debuted with the company at the 1990 Survivor Series, and would go to win the WWF championship at the 1991 over Hulk Hogan.
The big match of the show is strangely in the middle of the show for once. It's Pierre of the Quebeccers taking on Lex Luger. Luger in somewhat of a heelish fashion gets a cheap shot on Pierre before the bell even rings. Hard whip to the buckle as Pierre falls flat on his ass. Another whip and a decent back suplex by Luger for a two. Not even one minute in and Luger's trunks keep needing adjusting.
Takes a bit for Pierre to get back in the ring, but he eventually gets in some shots in the corner to Luger. But gets a big boot and a clothesline by Lex for a two count. Jonny Polo and Pierre go outside and up the rampway as Luger gives chase, but not before once again fixing his trunks. Luger is distracted by Polo, but manages to back body drop Pierre as we go to break. When we return, Luger locks in an armbar in the ring until Pierre turns it around. He tries a hiptoss, but gets blocked, so he hits a clothesline instead.
Pierre lays in some clubbing blows to the back of Luger, but Luger powers out and hits another clothesline. Back to the armbar, as Lex also looks quite blown up. Polo grabs the foot of Luger as Pierre sends Luger over the ropes to the outside. He rams Luger into the steps and enters back the ring. All while Polo laughs like a Raven maniac. Pierre then rams Luger back first into the ring post, while Polo teases hitting him with his polo mallet. Cover by Pierre only gets a two count.
Pierre hits a jumping knee to the back of Lex Luger, but doesn't go for a cover. Clearly the plan is to take Luger out instead of just winning. He gets a slingshot splash for only a two count. He follows with a chinlock (which Vince of course calls a Boston Crab). A mild "USA" chant (mostly from kids) as Luger tries to break out before the break. However, when we return, he's still locked in a choking chinlock.
Luger powers out, but is so blown up, and so still out of it from the long hold that he can't follow up. This gives Pierre time to hit a really nice piledriver for a two. Body slam and a really awful leg drop/elbow drop/whatever the hell on Lex for a two cont. Sidewalk slam and another trip to the top rope by Pierre. He goes for a senton bomb, but Luger avoids it.
Pierre rams Luger into the buckle. He goes for a second, but Luger manages to turn it around. He fights back as he is completely burned out. Both men exchange blows and hits a hard right. Nice back body frop from Luger and some clotheslines follow. A really sloppy powerslam follows up for a two. Luger places Pierre up top, but is stopped from trying any top rope offense. He just throws Pierre off, gets a shot in on Polo, and hits Pierre with the plated forearm for the three.
I didn't hate this match, and I will admit Luger was fine in the end of it, but it went on for way too long. Luger got blown up and gassed out very quickly, and the man needs a better pair of trunks because he still can't seem to keep them on right. In the end, this was at least better than Luger vs Tatanka.
Post-match, the focus is on Pierre who is knocked out by the loaded forearm, and is stretchered out. I love wrestling and its hypocrisy. Borga and the Foreign Fanatics take out Tatanka: "How dare you evil monsters." Lex Luger uses his illegal arm to knock out Pierre: "Oh well, he deserved it. After all, he's not American!"
Our last match of the evening is Diesel takes on Sid Garrison. What's more interesting than this match is Vince shilling a Planet of the Apes marathon on USA. Some arm wringers by Garrison, but gets whipped and caught into a rib breaker. Diesel misses an elbow, and Garrison tries the arm some more, only to get a forearm to the face. Some knees in the corner, and even Diesel has to fix his pants. a lot of slow offense and pants adjusting tonight. A gutwrench powerbomb on Garrison followed by a sidewalk slam.
A headlock is applied for about 40 seconds. Diesel punches Garrison as Bobby Heenan mentions he's going to Burger King to celebrate the birthday of Judge "Home of the" Wapner. Diesel finishes Garrison with a whip, a boot, and a jumping elbow for the three in a boring squash. Not overly impressed with Diesel. Makes me really scared for the infamous 1995 title run.
Todd Pettingill is here for the Survivor Series report. He mentions that Pierre may have suffered a slight concussion and may not be in the Survivor Series match next week. It's a final rundown of the card, which hasn't changed entirely from last week, save for the updated Harts vs HBK and the knights match. He shills the hotline telling us that the fans can vote for the superstar of the year. You know, this Raw's been on for a while. It feels like something's missing...
Oh right, this week's Jeff Jarrett vignette. He's at his own private recording studio, and is none too happy with the guitar player. He complains about it to his manager Wynonna, played by Jacqueline Moore, interestingly enough. Don't get invested in this, as she never actually valets/manages him due to injury. We end Raw with the Survivor Series Showdown pitch, and we're outta here.
This was a bland Raw. Nothing offensive (though your mileage will vary on the long Luger match), but nothing worth taking home either. The squashes this week were all kinda dull, and once again it felt like there was more build for a special, and not the pay per view itself. Overall, this Raw gets a C-. But with that out of the way, up next we're going to go right into the Thanksgiving tradition. It's the 1993 Survivor Series from the Boston Garden.