Raw opens up with of all people, president Jack Tunney. Tunney informs us that due to Shawn Michaels not appearing for scheduled defenses, he has been officially suspended and stripped of the Intercontinental Championship. Next week on Raw there will be a battle royal with the final two men moving on to a one on one match the week after for the vacated gold.
So you may be wondering what's become of Shawn Michaels. Well the answer is simple. He quit! Michaels failed a sterioid test and was suspended by the WWF (he denies this of course). Angered by this, Shawn would up and leave the WWF for a short period of time. This would explain the "we want Shawn" chants we've been hearing from the Manhattan Center crowd on the last two editions of Raw. His exit will be a brief one, and we'll see him back in a couple months. But yeah, for now we're without an IC champ.
Raw is in New Haven, Connecticut this week with Vince, Macho Man and Bobby Heenan on commentary. Tonight, the Quebecers will defend the tag titles against a "deserving team", and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka will be in the building. But opening Raw is Rick "The Model" Martel against... sigh... Tatanka.
Some shoves between both men to start the match. Both men are evenly matched as Martel breaks out of the headlocks of Tatanka. Martel then manages to get in a leg lock as the crowd chants "Let's go Rick." Even they're tired of Tatanka. He locks in an arm bar, which is quickly countered by Tatanka. Martel breaks out and goes for a boot off a whip, but Tatanka turns it around into an atomic drop and a clothesline sending the model out of the ring.
Tatanka plays defense around the ring to keep Martel out of the ring. Referee Tim White tries to hold back Tatanka as Martel continues to break the ten count. Tatanka gives chase outside, but Martel gets back in to lay cheap shots. Martel whips Tatanka into the buckle, but Tatanka stops himself. He tries a springboard press, but misses. Martel follows up with a back suplex sending Tatanka out of the ring as we go to break.
Martel remains in control as we return from commercial break. Tatanka ducks a clothesline off a whip and tries a roll up for a two. Martel regains control with an abdominal stretch, as Heenan calls Tatanka a squa. Tatanka manages to power out with a hip toss, but is unable to regain control. However Tatanka turns a knee off a whip into an abdominal stretch, but Martel quickly rakes his eyes for an escape. Tatanka counters a whip to the corner, but gets full sternum into the buckle. Suplex by Marel only gets a two count.
Big rib breaker by Martel, who follows with a splash over the ropes, but Tatanka gets his knees up. Tatanka tries to regain his compossure, but Martel gets a body slam and a knee to the lower back followed with a chinlock. tatanka powers out eventually and breaks the hold, and gets an ugly cross body for two. With control back in his favor, what does Rick Martel do? What
EVERY
SINGLE
PERSON
HAS
DONE
IN
A
TATANKA
MATCH!!!!
He rams Tatanka face first into the turnbuckle, which wakes up the Native American. He proceeds to do his war dance, and nos ells everything Martel does. Several chops and a slam by Tatanka. He goes up and hits a flying chop. Martel gets up quick, and manages to take Tatanka's momentum and throw him out of the ring. Martel tries to keep Tatanka out of the ring, but Tatanka takes him out. They brawl and get counted out in the fastest damn ten count I've ever seen.
I didn't like this match in all honestly. Kinda slow and bland, Martel really added nothing, Tatanka was business as usual, and the fact that we went with no winner really made this match feel even more pointless. After a few months of some strong opening matches to Monday Night Raw, this was easily the weakest in quite a while. Not exactly a booming start to the Connecticut shows.
Joe Fowler is at the WWF Event Center as he reminds us of the figurative stripping of Shawn Michaels. He tells us more about the battle royal, and the entrants. IRS, Randy Savage, Adam Bomb, Giant Gonzalez, Mr. Perfect, Owen Hart, Rick Martel, Jimmy Snuka, Bob Backlund, The Quebecers, Razor Ramon, Mabel, Diesel, MVP... Wait, who?
No, that's not a younger, whiter Montel Vontavious Porter, but that's our old buddy Steve "Brooklyn Brawler" Lombardi. This was still right before the strike of '94, but this was right around the time we were getting more awful "dual sport" superstars. And nothing says dual sports like Brawler with face paint that makes him like a budget Sting four years before Sting started using the black and white
paint.
The remainder of the roster will be 1-2-3 Kid, Bam Bam Bigelow, Marty Janetty, Tatanka, And Bastion Booger. Overall, not the worst roster of stars in this battle royal. I believe this will also be our first look at Diesel in action on Raw, though I believe he has worked TV already. My only gripe honestly is that there will be two winners to this battle royal with the final two wrestling the week after for the belt. Why not have it work like the 1992 rumble, and have the battle royal be for the Intercontinental title. Just my own little food for thought on the issue.
Up next is the evil Finnish environmentalist Ludvig Borga taking on Phil Apollo. Borga wastes no time shoving Apollo into the corner and going on the attack Hard whip to the buckle and a clothesline. He follows up with a nice side slam. Lots of stalling and another whip, following with a nice spine buster. He tosses Apollo over the rope with ease where he hits another clothesline.
Borga points to a fan with a "Ludwig Borga" sign, which Vince justifies as Borga paying off a fan to do so. Ah the days before the internet where Vince could believe his own BS. Borga brings Apollo back in, and hits a nice long stalling suplex. He follows with a body slam and a jumping elbow drop. Punches to the kidney and a torture rack for the win in a pretty decent squash match in all honesty.
SUPER-SUPER-SUPERFLY! It's Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka in action against Paul Van Dale: the whole jobbing show. Van Dale cheap shots Snuka, who comes back with some leap frogs, a hip toss, and a body slam. A chop and a headbutt follows. Van Dale gets an elbow to the head of Snuka and regains momentum. Heenan has managed to get our good brudda Crush on the phone. Crush tells the commentary team that he wasn't invited in the battle royal, but is not happy that Randy Savage is in.
Piledriver by Snuka as Crush feels that there are some politics in play due to him not being in the battle royal, and feels that the writing is on the wall and it all involves Savage. Savage retorts, but Crush hangs up. Show to the gut of Van Dale by Snuka as he continues he offense. Leapfrops and a chop by Snuka. Suplex using the ropes by Snuka who follows with a rib breaker and a Superfly Splash for the three in a boring match. It was so boring that we got more focus on Crush's return than the return of Snuka.
We're recapped of the upset of PJ Walker over IRS last week on Raw. We're then taken to the office of IRS, which is as dtab and boring as you'd imagine it to be. Vince calls IRS Mr. Rotundo. Funny, I thought his last name was Shyster. Is that was the R stands for? IRS promises an audit for Razor Ramon. Next week, he'll have a shot at Razor in the battle royal. He promises that he will be the next Intercontinental champion.
It's the Quebecers in action in our main event. It's the tag titles on the line against a "deserving team". And by jove, one of the challengers is Barry Horowitz. The man's been on the canvas more times than Rembrandt, Picasso, and Van Gogh, so of course he deserves a title shot. REno Riggins was sick with the flu, so his tag team partner just happens to the the 1-2-3 Kid. Vince asks why it's not a more worthy team, like you know the Steiners? The team that won a guaranteed rematch last week? This really makes no sense.
Kid goes for a handshake, only to be flipped off by Jacques. The Quebecers are quite cocky, but the kid gets in a spin kick. Jacques no sells it as we get a Silk Stalkings shill. Another set of spin kicks and drop kicks by Horowitz and the Kid take down the tag champs. Even Bobby Heenan is concerned for the tag champs.
Cheap shot by Pierre takes down the Kid as Jacques stomps and slaps him around. Tag to Pierre as both men hit a double clothesline. Hard body slam by Pierre who quick tags Jacques. Double head slam followed by double team slams for a two. Tag back to Pierre as both men get a double flapjack into the rope. Jumping elbows by Pierre and a headlock on the Kid. Tag back to Jacques as both men hit the flapjack into the ropes again. Jacques misses a slingshot splash. Guess he didn't pay attention to the Tatanka match earlier.
Kid sends Jacques out of the ring as he's knocked out. Johnny Polo takes some of Vince's water to awaken one half of his tag team. He calls over Pierre to revive Jacques. It's almost as if they're trying ot intentionally call the match off by injury. Pat Patterson and the rest of the goons come out with a stretcher to carry him off as Polo tries to call off the match. However according to FInkel, it will be Pierre against both Barry and the Kid. The match is still on.
Razor Ramon comes to ringside for a quick interview. He tells IRS that he'll be easy to find in the battle royal next week. Macho Man tells Razor that he respects him, but he promises to be in the final two next week as we come to the end of another Raw.
Overall, a fine but forgettable edition of Raw. The opening match was bland, the Borga squash was pretty good, the Snuka squash was boring, and the tag title match was fine, but rushed. The problem with this show is that it felt like nothing in it mattered. All the focus was on the next episode's battle royal, which means going back to this one is kind of pointless. So with that said, this Raw gets a deserving C rating.