Donkey Kong Country

Banana Shamma!

Nelvana/France 2: 1996

What an interesting month of video game themed cartoons it's been. We've looked at the likes of Zelda, Double Dragon, Darkstalkers, and now we finish off the mad monkey trilogy of Donkey Kong cartoons.

Despite the successes of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr, after the video game crash of 84, it seemed like DK got lost in the shuffle, and wouldn't appear in another major game after Donkey Kong 3 in 1984. That is, until 1993 saw a major resurgence in both DK and Junior. Junior would appear as a playable racer in Super Mario Kart, and Donkey Kong would make his big return on the Game Boy. But that wasn't what really brought the big ape back to the big stage. in 1994, Rare, a video game company responsible for the critically successful Battletoads, offered to take the main monkey of gaming to the next level. And what we got was easily one of the most important video games of the 90's, Donkey Kong Country.



A side scroller with pre-rendered 3D graphics, it was unlike anything anyone had ever seen at the time. But besides it's technical beauty, it had a great soundtrack, and was most importantly, fun as hell to play. It would spawn 2 sequels, one that perhaps far surpasses the original, and the other..... Eh, it's okay. Needless to say, Donkey Kong was a success again.

And like I've said countless times before, almost anything successful in the 80's or 90's had an animated series.

Unlike the previous 90's video game toons I've inducted this month, this video game toon was created by major Canadian animation company Nelvana, as well as a French channel known as France 2. Obviously since the games were known for their graphics, this toon had to be CGI, which at the time was starting it's boom with the likes of Reboot and Toy Story.

I first heard of this cartoon interestingly enough when a new television channel was set to make it's debut. That channel was Teletoon.



Teletoon is Canada's equivalent of Cartoon Network. And as a kid of 12 at the time, I was still very much in love with the idea of a 24 hour cartoon channel. And when ads started popping up on channels showing the many shows coming when it debuted, the one that stood out for me was Donkey Kong Country. I couldn't wait. While I was a Genesis owner, I had played DKC and was a massive fan. So a cartoon that would represent the action, and fun of the games was something I was definitely down for. Finally the big day arrived. Teletoon hit the airwaves on October of 1997, I was pumped. I watched every show from beginning of the day on till end. Hell, I even watched Charlie Brown's retarded brother Caillou (Which was the very first cartoon to air on the channel BTW), and I knew that the show I was waiting for was slowly approaching. Finally, Donkey Kong Country aired, and.......

unimpressed would be the nicest term.

Simply put, Imagine Donkey Kong with less of the action, half decent voice acting, and the biggest offender, and what killed it for me... crappy songs. And I mean Beyond Crappy. Hell they almost make Sonic Under....


Uh, let's just get to the review. Let us not talk about that.

Let's review this thing.

We'll be looking at the show's essential major episode arc, "The Legend of the Crystal Coconut". A four episode compilation that was later released on video as a "Movie". You know, one of those BS movies that are really just episodes from the show.


Like this for example.




We start our "Movie" with DK's sidekick Diddy making an ass of himself as he plays with his reflection in the crystal coconut. Until Cranky Kong, the angry old geezer of the show, closes the coconut, causing Diddy to pinch his finger. He opens up the coconut again, and Diddy is relieved that his pain is gone.

Dude, you got pinched in the finger. It's not like you have lupus.

Since Diddy and Donkey Kong can't sleep, they want to hear the story of the Crystal Coconut. Cranky agrees, provided they leave him the hell alone afterward. And being the douche he is, rushes through the story to get the two morons out of his home. He mentions that the great Inca Dinca Doo (Really?) chose DK to be the future ruler for reasons nobody knows (Uh, because it's his country?)



DK, impatient that he knows jack about his vague destiny (Great, so he's Timmy Brisby all of a sudden), goes to see Inca Dinca Doo seeking information. And how does he ask for it? Through Song of course. While he;s singing, the Inca tells him that "to learn everything, he must give up everything". DK still has no clue what the talking rock means by this, so DK decides that he should give away the Crystal Coconut.



Meanwhile, we meet our main baddies, the kremlings (or more importantly his two moronic henchmen Klump and Krusha), run by King K Rool. The only Way i can compare K. Rool is.. well, he reminds me of Mr. Belvedere as Bowser in that infamous Mario on Ice clip.

No, I'm not making that last statement up.

Klump, the military croc of the group tells K Rool that DK has given them the crystal coconut. Why, I haven't the foggiest since this is his main god damned enemy. But that would make this 80+ minute "Movie" about 75 or so minutes shorter, now wouldn't it? He's ecstatic that he finally has the one thing he's wanted since this show began, and vows that no one will ever take it from him.

cut to the 2nd villain for this "movie", Captain Scurvy, who's come to claim the coconut, and deal with his toothache. Cut to... Well, a rather good pirate shanty. While I rag on the quality of most of the songs, the pirate tunes, I will admit, are pretty entertaining.

DK goes back to the inca proud of his accomplishments, but still gets the same message as before. DK tells Cranky, who is quite pissed (but then again Cranky is his name), as the pirates show up to claim the coconut. Cut back to K Rool who is still gloating over owning the coconut, until he learns that DK just gave it to them. And being the paranoid lizard he is, believes it's a trick. He tells Klump to give the coconut back to DK. And hey, since it hasn't been at least 3 minutes since the last song, it's time for yet another damn song. 3 songs, and roughly only 10 minutes in. Oh, this is gonna hurt.

While K Rool's henchmen try to find DK, he shows up at K Rool's hideout asking for the coconut back. Which causes K Rool to whine because he realizes he's a damn moron who gave away the one thing he's been after. While that's happening, Krusha and Klump show up at Cranky's to give the coconut back. But since Cranky's as paranoid as K Rool, he lures them into countless traps, until they eventually give him the coconut. But realizing the pirates are after the it, he gives the coconut to Diddy as he teleports (yes, Cranky can do that when the coconut's around apparently) to DK. Diddy, realizing he's screwed if he tries to defend the coconut on his own, takes it to Inca Dinca Doo. But hey, the pirates just happened to know that's where he was going. But it's DK to the rescue... until the pirates have him, Diddy, and Cranky surrounded. DK throws the coconut at Captain Scurvy, knocking his bad tooth out. And since it's pirate oath, he lets DK have the coconut back. DK still moans about not knowing his destiny, and this whole "wild goose chase" plot finally comes to an end.

Now it's time for the 2nd episode.. I mean part of our "movie".



We kick it off with DK and Diddy playing secret agents with their walkie talkie bananas, as Klump and Krusha spy on them and try to steal their walkie talkies, who Klump believes is a special secret agent weapon.

Boy, villains sure know how to pick henchmen don't they?





DK and Diddy find what looks to be a batarang on a rock. While that happens, our moronic henchmen steal one of the walkie talkies, and give it to K Rool. Knowing this, DK and Diddy mess with them by pretending the batarang thing is a special amulet that is better than the crystal coconut. They send the lizards to the aptly named "forbidden forest". Cranky, who scolds them on practical joking, proves himself a hypocrite by telling them the amulet is cursed, and sends them into the forest as well. Funky Kong (who's as over the top Jamaican as can be) warns him that he'll get his in the end. And since we need to shoehorn them into this plot too, the pirates are back. Hey, at least we get another decent shanty.

Klump and Krusha, proving how useful they've been so far, get stuck in quicksand, forcing K Rool to go into the forest himself. Cranky discovers the pirates are around, and goes to warn DK. While leaving the coconut in the hands of funky, who proves to be almost as useless as funky, as he's easily stopped by the pirates. While that's going on, DK and Diddy are wandering the forest. DK's worried about possibilities of an evil bog monster, as Diddy gives him crap for being a pussy. That is until Cranky shows up to warn them of the pirates. So our two stop dealing with the amulet that had nothing to do with the plot so far, and head off to get the coconut and Cranky. Meanwhile, Scurvy overhears K Rool over the walkie talkie talk about the amulet, and sets off the get it.


These wild goose chases getting tired yet?

K Rool gets the coconut, as DK confronts him. K Rool gloats about his victory, only to get stuck in the quicksand. The day is saved, and the amulet was just Funky's boomerang. The end of episode.. I mean part 2.





We kick off our 3rd part as DK is in his home throwing banana peels on the floor, causing Diddy to act like an ass like always, and pretend to die. But DK's sloth causes himself to slip, and have a nasty fall, resulting in the deadest of beaten dead horse storylines, amnesia. Diddy leaves the empty memory monkey on his own as he looks for Cranky, and DK, of course wanders off. And hey, the pirates are back. This time around, they convince our amnesia riddled simian that he's a pirate, and has to get the crystal coconut for them. And sadly, no sea shanty this time around, instead another rather generic song. Eh, they ran their course with the 2nd anyhoo. The pirates raid everybody in Kongo Bongo, including King K'Belvedere.

It doesn't take long for K'Rool to realize his nemesis is now an amnesiac, and tries to convince him to join up with him and steal the crystal coconut for him. But DK's planned thievery is put to a stop by an animated intervention from all the Kongs, who try to jog his memory, clip show style. But it fails to work, at least until he slips and hits a tree, causing coconuts to crack his cranium. With his memories back, DK gets the coconut, and the bad guys are quickly vanquished. End of part 3.

We finish this damn movie, with, once again, the pirates back to capture the coconut. DK fends them off. But K'Rool actually succeeds in getting the coconut. Oh goody, more chasing after that retarded bauble. That plot didn't get tired immediately.



After that encounter, we head to the barrel factory where we meet Candy Kong, DK's love interest, and Bluster, this show's Antoine, only more ofa a douchepuss. Bluster's attempts to hit on Candy are cut short, as K'Rool shows up and tries to take the factory. Bluster, being both the owner, and a bitch, immediately gives it to him. Our fat crocadoofus uses the factory to make exploding barrels so he can finally put a stop to the Kongs once and for all. But once again, it's DK and Diddy to the rescue, as they chase the reptilian villains into a mine cart chase. I'd mark out for that, but I'm so sick of this cartoon by now. That, and I hated those damn stages.




Surprisingly, for being the bitch of the show, it's Bluster who saves the coconut. DK and Diddy return it to Cranky, only for the Pirates to recapture it. So yeah, more chasing, as the Kongs end up on the pirate ship and captured in barrels. It seems like all is lost, until one of those Klap Trap enemies from the game shows up. He makes a deal with them (Through song of god damn course) to get his teeth back. So, it's more fighting, and chasing, and monotony, until Klap Trap gets his teeth back, and destroys the pirate ship. The end.

And that's Donkey Kong Country in a nutshell... err, banana skin. While the CGI is decent for it's time, the plot devices are paper thin, the songs aren't catchy save for the pirate shantys, and overall it's just a very forgettable experience, just like the other Donkey Kong cartoons. And with that, we finally say goodbye to Game Over month, and I know that it's gonna be a long time until I look at another video game cartoon agai..

...You probably should ignore that.... 0_0