Since this is the first one on one match we've seen Tatanka in on Raw, let's talk about him. Chris Chavis started his career much like a lot of people Vince liked in bodybuilding, but never had aspirations in becoming a pro. He also had multiple tryouts for the NFL, even at one point having a chance to play for the Miami Dolphins, but declined, mainly due to the income he was earning as a divisional manager for Bally's Health.
After a meeting with "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers at a video story in Florida, and soon would be trained by Larry Sharpe in his "Monster Factory". This wrestling school would actually build future names like Bam Bam Bigelow, Chris Candido, D'Lo Brown, Raven, Balls Mahoney and even Sheamus. In the Monster Factory is where Chavis would develop the Tatanka character, and would be picked up by the WWF, and eventually would debut as Tatanka in February of 1992, and would start an undefeated babyface streak, which is where we are right now almost a year after his debut.
Demento starts with strong headbuts, but Tatanka gets a roll up for a two count. Tatanka lands a hip toss, followed by both a body slam, and a clothesline over the rope. Demento gets too focused with the lights, and gets sent back in to the ring, and gets some stiff chops. Demento eventually lands in a stiff clothesline, and follows with an elbow and a leg drop. However, he only gets a two count. He gets a leg drop to the lower extremities of Tatanka, but still gets only a two count. Rob Bartlett tells us that as a kid he used to have some Ta-Tonka trucks.
Sigh, we still have months left with this goof.
A very loud "We want Flair" chant from the crowd as Demento has Tatanka on the ground with a headlock. Tatanka escapes with elbows, but Demento regains momentum with a boot. He rams Tatanka's head into the buckle, but he no sells it and follows with a massive chop as he stomps around the ring. He hits what looks like a Samoan drop for the three. Pretty basic match. Nothing really spectacular from either men honestly.
Next up is a recap of the Headlock on Hunger function at the Madison Square Garden show the previous Friday as WWF champion Bret Hart gives a check for one hundred grand to the American Red Cross. Ric Flair is visible in the sea of stars at ringside as this would be one of his last appearances before leaving the company.
Vince McMahon is in the ring for our next segment as he welcomes the returning Brutus "the Barber" Beefcake. He refers to Brutus as one of the all time greats. Let's not go nuts, Vince.
Ed Leslie, the man of a million gimmick names debuted in 1977 alongside his good buddy Terry Bolea, AKA Hulk Hogan. And of all of Hogan's lackeys, Leslie is definitely the Charlie Browniest. He debuted as Hogan's brother Eddie Boulder, and then later Eddie Hogan, and Dizzy Hogan. In 1984, he debuted in the WWF as Brutus Beefcake, and feuded with Hulk Hogan. After teaming up with Greg "The Hammer" Valentine as the Dream Team and having a run with the tag titles, Beefcake would start carrying shears to the ring, and would cut the hair of his opponents, and became a hot babyface throughout the rest of the late 80's under the updated name of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.
Then in 1990, things went to hell for Leslie, as he would have his entire face crushed in a parasailing accident, that would require over 100 metal plates to repair. Due to this, he had to take almost two years off. In between that, he was planned to return to television under the name of Furface, and would run in on matches.
One of the rare appearances of Leslie's "Furface" character, sans fur.
However, this came and went quickly, and soon after Leslie would return as Brutus Beefcake, hosting his own talk show "the Barber Shop". Its most infamous edition involving the Rockers split up with Shawn Michaels sending Marty Janetty into the barber shop window. Beefcake wouldn't really do much else in '92 with the exception of being beaten down by Sid during the feud with Hogan, because in the end, Ed Leslie will always be Hogan's whipping boy.
Beefcake gets a pretty good reaction from the crowd as he approaches the ring. Steamboat is happy with the reaction, and tells the fans that he is finally ready to return to the ring to strut and most importantly, to cut. He also talks about the parasailing accident, and losing both his mother to cancer, and his father from a heart attack prior to that. And as if life hadn't kicked him the balls, he also lost his wife in a divorce. So to say life sucks to be the Beefer is an understatement. And after all that was the parasailing accident that pretty much said that his career was over. He reached out his hand to god, but of course god didn't answer, but Hulk Hogan did. Of course Hogan did.
Brutus quickly loses the crowd with his graphic retelling of how badly his face was mutilated. He tells how the first thing he saw after he could see again was the red and yellow. However, despite Brutus' retelling, the crowd in the Manhattan Center is booing as this promo is going on way too long. They could have really cut this short. Pretty much the point could have been "I was injured, and now I'm back thanks to the support of my all time favorite friend, Hulk Hogan". I give Ed points for trying, but that whole segment just dragged, and Beefcake's attempts at garnering sympathy with his graphic story didn't work as planned.
It's time for tag team action as the team of High Energy (Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware) taking on the team of legendary jobber Iron Mike Sharpe and Von Krus...
Better known as former dress wearing Italian tough Big Vito, who has recently come up in the news for suing the WWE for "Ignoring injuries".
Sharpe shoves Owen and follows with a headlock and a shoulder block. A nip up and dropkick by Owen, into a toe hold and an arm bar. Tag to Koko and a wishbone from High Energy. Von Krus gets tagged in, but gets zero offense as High Energy land a double back drop. Dropkick by Koko and a rollup from Owen get the win in fast fashion. In fact so fast, there really isn't much to say. Hell, Vito didn't even get a second of offense in, and while Owen and Koko looked good, there wasn't much to really be impressed about.
Up next is Doink the Clown vs Typhoon. They recap the incident involving Doink using the plaster arm to beat down Crush. Doin comes down the aisle to that awesome evil theme. We first saw Doink back at the first Raw causing mayhem in the crowd as Vince kept calling him that dork clown.
The original Doink the Clown was Matt Borne. Borne first debuted in the NWA in 1978 and soon found his way to the WWF in 1985. He even competed in the first Wrestlemania against Ricky Steamboat. Borne's initial run in the WWF would only last about a year, and then end up in WCCW, and then in WCW as a wrestling lumberjack by the name of Big Josh who danced with bears.
Borne would return to the WWF in 1992, and shortly after be given the character of Doink the Clown, an evil clown who loved to make children cry with his cruel antics to other wrestlers, be it squirting water from his lapel, dumping confetti, or as Crush would find out, getting hit with a fake arm. Also, that amazing villainous theme with the creepy laugh is one of the best themes of all time. He won't be the only one to don the clown shoes, but we'll still have Borne as Doink for quite a while.
His opponent is the massive Typhoon of the natural Disasters. Doink manages to take down Typhoon early, but Typhoon eventually powers out. The crowd is behind Doink with a chant early on. Doink again gets down Typhoon and locks in grounded holds. Macho Man wishes Crush good health, and Bartlett suggests that Doink should enter a 12 step program. Facelock by Doink Is eventually countered as the big man gets a brief bearhug. But Doink rakes the eyes and grounds him down again. Typhoon gets pisses by the slaps of the clown, and gets a big powerslam. Typhoon misses a splash in the corner, and Doink capitalizes with a clothesline off the top, and using the tights for a leverage pin.
After Todd Pettingil promotes WWF Mania with the Giant Gonzales we have Howard Finkel gives a quick euology to Andre the Giant. Andre had passed away only a few days prior on January 27th. It's also one of the first occasions that we got the ten bell salute. A very classy way to pay tribute to one of the WWF's greatest icons.
Up next is the 1993 Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna approaching the ring to take on Bobby Devito. Vince shills that Hacksaw Jim Duggan will challenge Yokozuna on an episode of Superstars. Instead of, you know, on Raw which should be more important. Rob Bartlett bemoans the lack of an action figure of him. While Devito gets hit with a massive kick and belly to belly, Vince talks to Duggan on the phone, who is ready to take on "Yawkazooma". Massive leg drop by Yoko as Devito is pretty much dead. While Duggan spouts patriotism, Yoko lands the Banzai Drop for the quick three in a squash even more effective than the High Energy match.
Vince is once again on the mic welcoming the WWF tag team champions Money Inc. to the ring. Dibiase regails us with the tale of Humpty Dumpty, even messing the rhyme up. The reason for his broken egg analogy has to do with Brutus Beefcake's sob story early on. He says that Beefcake must be crazy for looking for a challenge. He says that he can have his choice of either Dibiase or Irwin R. Shyster. The champs decide to settle the choice on a coin toss. The pick goes to Dibiase as Jimmy Hart tries to get the duo back on track. Despite Hart's worries, Dibiase is not concerned with the returning Beefer, while IRS is pissed that with the medical bills, Brutus isn't paying his taxes. Jimmy drags off his team.
A much more effective promo from both men. Ted didn't stumble, and IRS was short and to the point. And it didn't feel like it dragged on like the Beefcake promo. Plus this promo begins to sow the seeds to dissension between Money Inc. and The Mouth of the South.
It's time for the Main Event of the evening with the Raw debut of "The Narcissist" Lex Luger, who enters the ring and removes the robe. A fat lady raises a Raw sign to the disgust of Luger and of course the fat jokes of Vince and Bartlett.
Next up is the awesomeness that is the Mr. Perfect "Perfect Passer" vignette with Steve Jordan of the Minnesota Vikings. After some perfect throws by Perfect to Jordan, it's followed with Perfect throwing the ball all the way down the field and catching the ball. I love the Mr. Perfect sports vignettes, and it's a hard tie between this one and the baseball one with Wade Boggs as the all time best.
It's Lex Luger taking on Jason Knight in our last match of the show. Macho Man tells us that Beefcake has accepted the challenge of Ted Dibiase for next week. A big boot in the corner from Luger and a massive forearm. Vince suggests the fans stay on the USA network for an episode of Quantum Leap. Because the exploits of Sam Beckett are definitely more entertaining a subject than focusing on a Lex Luger match. Big powerslam by Luger is followed by another running forearm. Knight is out cold as Luger gets another shot in. Luger gets the pinfall with just his pinky. Luger follows with a giant swing. Another really nothing squash match with no real substance to it.
Despite promoting Raw for next week, Raw is preempted next week for the dog show, and Vince promotes both the Beefcake/Dibiase match and a 16-man battle royal, as Vince asks if Rob Bartlett will enter the battle royal. How I wish he would.
And that's Raw. Pretty much a standard jobber episode. No matches really had much substance to them, and were quick squashes. But none of them were really offensive either, and did the best they could to show off the stars that were getting the pushes. In fact the only thing I didn't like on this show was Beefcake's promo. It went too long, he stumbled a lot, and despite a lot of the anguish coming from the heart, it lost the fans really quick. Best thing on this show was hands down the "Perfect Pass" vignette. But then again Mr. Perfect can do no wrong with me. But overall, this was a C- show.
Well, next time we meet Raw will have a battle royal, and an actually decent built main event, so will things get better on the next installment? We'll see then.