Part Man, Part Machine, All Crap
MGM: 1998
Poor Alex Murphy. First he got mutilated on his first day being transferred to Metro South, and then turned into a robot. And sure he had a badass first movie, a decent animated 80's show, and an okay sequel, but unfortunately everything after smelled like the chemical waste that Emil got covered all over him.
From a horrid threequel, a lame TV series, and a myriad of horrendous video games, it seemed like ol' Robo had already lost what made him such an iconic character in the late 80's. However, while all of those were bad, they were nothing compared to the nail in the coffin that was Robocop: Alpha Commando. A syndicated animated series from MGM, who at this point were whoring poor Murphy for all his worth. The man was shot to holy hell, leave him be.
Dead or alive, you're coming with me...... As we review this thing.
Well, this may be the worst theme I've heard so far reviewing these cartoons. If you had no clue you were watching a cartoon about Robocop, the theme reminds you about 23 times, as the entire Lyrics of the theme song is nothing but them singing "Robocop. Robocop. Row Bow Cop". And the intro itself shows no signs of a good toon either as Robocop uses his memorable abilities like extendo arms, and his roller blades. What the hell? Am I watching Robocop or Inspector Gadget? Though hopefully Robocop's smarter than Gadget ever was.
So, Since this is Robocop, you'd expect some important aspects of the Robocop franchise? I mean, there's still OCP, Anne Lewis, and even our pal ED209 right? Well, to my knowledge and the several episodes I could find, he works for the Alpha Division, who's goal is to stop D.A.R.C (Directorate for Anarchy, Revenge, and Chaos), a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world... But unlike Cobra, just plain suck.
But what about Anne Lewis? No sign of her, though Robo still has a female partner in Nancy Miner. Yes, I know Lewis dies in Robocop 3, and yes, they do explain Lewis' death a bit.
In fact, the only connection between Alpha Commando and the rest of the official canon is Sgt. Reed.
At least, i think it's the same Sgt Reed. Personally, I thought the Reed from the movies was more bad ass than the overly muscled bad ass chief in the cartoon.
So let's take a look at an episode. Our ep of choice will be "Plague on Ice".
We start the episode with a dream sequence, as Robocop is chased into a dead end by other Robocops with their mouths bolted shut. They gang up on him, and then bolt his mouth as well. But Robo wakes up, realizing it was a dream, but is still bolted in the mouth and smashes a mirror in anger. Then wakes up again. He awakens Dr. Neumeier, the guy who rebuilt Robocop, to tell him that they were paged by Division Alpha. So Robo, Neumeier, and Nancy drive as they learn of their mission by the leader of Division Alpha, the static faced Alpha Prime.
Who i swear sounds like Mr. Glitch from Mathman.
Makes me kinda wish for a Mathman: Alpha Mathmando, or something of that nature.
So the big faceless cheese tells them that they're to head to Antarctica via Jet. on the jet they learn of their mission. That a science crew in Antarctica found a meteor, and may have unleashed a space vir....
Wait a sec. Are they cribbing from The Thing? I mean, With it being a meteor and a virus, not an alien beast, but it's still pretty much still the idea verbatim.
So, the trio jump out of the jet and parachute to the snowy terra firma below. They quarantine the base, and talk to the scientists. The scientists inform them that the virus causes hallucinations, and paranoia. And that the cook is not a computer fan, as Robo notices a knife through one of the computers. Their little chat is interrupted by one of the doctors, who goes insane, and thinks that everything she sees are robot dogs. So, since Robocop is in a protective suit....
Which just looks absolutely goofy BTW
He can't use his extendo arm, so he does the most logical thing.
Throws Snowballs at the crazed lady.
So, they take her to where the other crazed infected people. One who believes he's stuck at sea and can't swim, and one...
Who sees everyone as giant boulders. I've seen some odd hallucinations, but that's definitely a new one.
However, the episode has it's real conflict (Since the one sided snowball fight doesn't really count in my book), as one of the science team members has stolen the meteor with the virus. Robo soon learns that is belongs to a D.A.R.C member named Anais Gaia, who can change her form. And Robo chases after her with his rocket boots. When Nancy tackles Gaia, she ends up getting her thermal suit cut. Robo uses his... Clothing repairing powers (???) to fix the suit temporarily. But they decide not to chase after Gaia, as they deal with another problem. Birds made by Gaia, used to spread the virus worldwide. He makes Nancy stay in a quarantine room with the science crew, as he recruits Neumeier to help track down gaia. Yeah, let's deal with an evil scientist with the aid of a whiny one. But Robo's thermal suit is ripped, and he begins to have the bolt mouth hallucination again, which causes him to freak out, and do what I think we've all wanted to see happen so far. Pull out a gun, and point it dead center at whiny Neumeier.
Followed by the rest of his arsenal. But before he can do the world a favor, Neumeier accidentally blasts the ceiling, causing it to crash on Robo. With his logic somewhat back to normal, but still hallucinating, he tells Neumeier to override his systems, so that Neumeier can control him. So, the duo sets off to find Gaia, as Robocop (I Can't beleive I''m typing this...)
Turns into a Robo Sled.
What... The... Fu...
So, the duo find Gaia, and Robo uses his flamethrower to try get the meteor rocks. Gaia gets them, and Robo again hallucinates, and sees her as an evil version of himself. With Robo petrified, Neumeier is forced to control Robo himself. But Gaia's escape sub arrives, and Gaia hits Robo with a missile in the chest. Realizing that Robo's more useless than he is, Neumeier takes his blaster, and gives chase to Gaia. But being the useless fool he is, gets captured. Robo awakes, and uses his extendo arm to save Neumeier, who blasts the meteor rocks off the sub. And Gaia, instead of leaving the boat to try and get them back, just enters the sub, and escapes. So, an antidote is made, Robo is cured, and they head back to where it's safe.. Detroit.
So, that's Robocop Alpha Commando. It's pretty bad. The voice work is meh, the plots kinda basic, and the animation decent at best. But the real gripe is that Robocop is now Inspector Gadget with his extendo arm, and other silly robot powers. It's just a shame he didn't say "Go Go Robo" before he activated any of his robo powers.