The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps Series 2000 #4: Invasion of the Body Squeezers: Part 1

So, I took a month off of the ol' Gooseblog, having been burned by Wanted: The Haunted Mask, and came to a weird little epiphany. Despite the fact that I do have a pile of these main line books to cover, I will eventually run out of Goosebumps books to cover for the blog. So with that in mind, I figured that soon I'll have to branch out into other books of the R.L. Stine ilk. Meaning that eventually I'll have to cover stuff like Fear Street, Rotten School, Mostly Ghostly and any of the standalone Stine works. So, with that in mind, let's return to the blog via a new name and a new era. Welcome to The Stinal Countdown. Funny story, this was the original plan for the blog name before I went with Gooseblog. Though that was way before I decided to continue beyond the original 62. Also, since I did a lot of these Series 2000 and later era books out of order, if you're new to this blog, prepare to be confused.

Series 2000 has been one of Stine's most interesting eras. From the first three books alone you can tell there is a focus on trying to be more gross and intense. From ones I covered after this, you can see signs of the series trying to buck trends and do different things. And nothing says "different" quite like the first (and only) ever two-part Goosebumps story. Yes, before Stine just lumped a story into a larger special edition (or just threw two crappy books together into a larger tome), he decided to break from the norm and give us a longer story. Did it pan out? Let's find out as we get spaced with Invasion of the Body Squeezers Part 1.

COVER STORY

I'll talk more about the covers to this book in the next review, but this cover is pretty good. Lots of detail on the body squeezer, who is quite the frightening sight with his fangs, bug eyes and suction cup hands. Lots of nice little details like the debris on the ground, the meteors falling in the sky, and the squeezer holding a kid by the leg. Hell, the next cover came out a month later so for all you knew, this thing was carrying half a torso. Also, vampire dog is silly.

STORY

Jack Archer is our protagonist of the story. He thinks his seven year old sister Billie is some kind of alien, on the grounds of... she's very competitive? As it should come to no surprise, Jack is into space stuff, yet hates when Billie calls him "Saucerman". I guess calling him Rocketman would have gotten them sued by Elton John... or William Shatner?... or Harland Williams, am I the only one who remembers that movie Rocketman? No, not the Elton John one, the 1997 one that conveniently was released not long before this book. You know, after taking a break, you really appreciate the magical art of padding.

But Jack's no saint himself. He's been recently taking up spying on his new next door neighbor, the intriguingly named Mr. Fleshman. He moved in next door recently and acts strange, with his dark eyes, black clothing and car, oh, and possibly hoarding a bear-sized alien with half its face caved in. This interest to spy is peaked when a news report reveals that a strange comet recently orbiting over Earth. So, Jack goes to sneak, only to see a ball thrown by the other kids on the street. Maddie Wiener, Marsha James, Derek Lee and Henry Glover. Maddie in particular is a child actor and model, so that clearly means controlling parents that spend all her cash. Jack tries to get the kids to believe his claims about Mr. Fleshman, but it turns out that Jack's got a history of claiming things like werewolves and flying saucers. Probably told the story about the monsters that multiply when you get them wet. The kids go to get the ball, only to see Mr. Fleshman appear. The kids run off while Fleshman gives Jack a menacing stare.

Turns out that Jack's parents are also tired of all his stories. They don't believe him because... well, Goosebumps parents, but it's not like his track record helps him much. That night, Jack decides to spy on Mr. Fleshman again, this time getting even more proof to his claims as he sees Mr. Fleshman fighting with the crushed head creature once more. He tries to call the cops, but the phone rings. It's Derek and the others mocking him for the earlier incident. The door then rings. Jack opens it to be met by Mr. Fleshman, who warns Jack to stop spying on him, because his work is top secret. So of course this means Jack's gonna keep on spyin'. This time however, he needs to get proof he can show his parents.

Jack tries to spy on Mr. Fleshman, as well as try to see the comet, but gets bothered by Billie, as well as Derek and Henry. They offer to take him to the Dodgers game, but he has to go to Burbank to visit his cousins. His mother speaks to Mr. Fleshman who mentions being an alien from outer space, which Mrs. Archer laughs off because, yeah. After coming home, the family watch the latest news on the comet. It's starting to break up into smaller pieces that will eventually crash into Earth. But it's definitely not a flying saucer. Jack goes outside to see it, but instead sees Mr. Fleshman, who pranks him with a pair of spring eyeballs, before then threatening Jack to stop spying. You know, if you want someone to stop spying on you, this isn't a really good plan. Because that's what Jack plans to do the next day.

Jack spots Mr. Fleshman's garage door wide open and decides to sneak into his house. He sees what looks like movie posters for plenty of weird monster films. He also finds a book with Mr. Fleshman surrounded by slender, green creatures, somewhat similar to the cover of this book. In another room, he finds a coffin in the middle of a room. When it starts to slide open, he dashes into a laboratory that creates a weird mist-like ghost. Then he spots the creature with the crushed head that starts advancing on him. Jack panics, and ends up grabbing a strange metal square to throw at it  until he hears the voice of Mr. Fleshman telling him that he warned him about snooping. He tells Jack that he's a special effects designer for horror movies. He introduces Jack to Cutey, the crushed head monster who is radio controlled. Jack apologizes for his actions and leaves.

CONCLUSION

Invasion of the Body Squeezers is a simple little story. Its protagonist isn't too different from other Goosebumps protagonists and the book does do a good job building up the mystery of Mr. Fleshman. Overall, it was a simple sit that I would easily recommen-Oh right, this isn't over yet by a long shot.

Jack is much calmer now that he's solved that little mystery. However, before he goes to bed, he pulls out the metal square from his pocket. It's small, black, and the size of a beeper. He messes around with it, but nothing happens. That night however, he hears what sounds like high pitched voices. He tries to drown it out, but when he wakes up the next morning, he tells his mother that "he hears and he obeys". He snaps out of it, not knowing why he said any of that. The voices continue to make him say that, so he believes it must have been the device he took from Mr. Fleshman. After a situation in school where he still utters the words and makes a giant clay ball that he throws at the wall, his parents suggest taking him to a doctor. Jack instead goes and gives the device back to Mr. Fleshman, who states that it's just a beeper.

When Jack heads home, ashamed over everything that's happened today, he sees what looks like a meteorite crash on earth. However, to everyone else, it just looks like a rubber ball, meaning that he gets mocked some more over his recent actions. Oh, and he can still hear the voices. Now the voices are telling him to be ready to help spread their roots and aid them to victory. He tries to call in to a radio show, but gets ignored. He decides to take the meteorite to school to see Mr. Liss, the science teacher, but it gets thrown around by the kids who then toss it out the window. Jack is about to jump himself, but fights it off and runs outside to grab the meteorite.

He has one last hope. Mr. Fleshman. However, as he gets close to Mr. Fleshman's house, he can overhear Mr. Fleshman talking to someone on the phone, about how he is ready to aid some sort of army. Jack realizes that, well crap, Mr. Fleshman lied this entire time, but  maybe he's a government agent. No way that guy he thought was evil a while ago could actually be evil? Jack runs to his room to grab the meteorite, but sees it start to break apart. It hatches, with an alien coming out of its gooey remains. First tiny, then growing larger and larger. It sticks out its three fingered hands and attacks Jack.