We open Raw with a match between Jerry Lawler and Aldo Montoya, giving us Jim Ross at the table with Vince. Lawler has a bad in hand as he grabs the mic. He says he's been exposing Jake Roberts as a big hypocrite. He tells Jake to write an autobiography titled "Who the Hell's Gonna Buy This?" He rants on Aldo, calling him Jake's designated driver as Aldo's music hits. He says that Aldo was woozy, and that's why he won. Tonight, he's got Jake's tag partner "Jim Beam" and he wants Aldo to give it to Jake after he loses tonight. He throws the mic to Aldo, who stupidly goes to pick it up, allowing Lawler to lay in some cheap shots.
Suplex by Lawler. Aldo comes back with an uppercut and a whip to the buckle, leading to a big dropkick. Aldo sets Lawler up for the DDT, but Lawler escapes and grabs the referee. Aldo gets Lawler, hitting a back body drop. Corner punches by Aldo and more rights after that. He goes for another back drop, but Lawler drops him with a piledriver. Lawler hits him with a second piledriver and covers for the win. He lays in a few more cheap shots, then grabs the bottle of Jim Beam.
He unscrews the cap and starts dumping the whiskey down the gullet of Aldo Montoya. As officials separate him, he just dumps the whole bottle over Aldo and mocks Jake some more.
Up next, it's The New "and Improved" Rockers taking on The Bodydonnas, while Hillbilly Jim joins commentary. Marty and Leif sneak attack Zip and Skip as the Bodydonnas try to make it out of the entrance way. Vince actually uses the term "Pearl Harbored" which I never expected out of him. As they make it into the ring, things continue to be out of control with both teams going at it. Control finally happens as Marty and Zip start things off. Zip tries a dropkick, but Leif makes the save for Marty.
We get an interview with Sunny and Faarooq to build up his in-ring debut against Skip next week. Sunny says she doesn't care what anyone thinks, she's getting what he wants and her new man is going to teach everyone that Skip can't measure up. Faarooq says he can be red, green, 3 or 300 pounds, Faarooq has never been prey, he's the tiger. This gets mumbly, but the point is still there that he's the man eater. Back in the ring, Marty lands a flipping bulldog off the middle rope while the Smoking Gunns and the Godwinns watch as we have a four-team elimination match on the way at Summerslam.
Skip lands a diving headbutt off the top rope and covers, only for Leif Cassady to break the cover. He also assists Marty into dropping Skip throat-first on the ropes. Marty throws Skip over the ropes, allowing Leif to hit a neckbreaker that nearly has kim kicking over the monito on the announce table. He brings Skip back in and Marty drops his weight on the leg of Skip. Tag to Leif as the Rockers get a big hip attack out of the corner. Clothesline by Marty and a cover by Leif for two. Skip tries to fight back, but gets caught with a snapmare and a leg drop. Cover, but still only a two count.
Hillbilly Jim on commentary says that we shouldn't have to worry about Phineas having feelings for Sunny, he's seen the light. We also go right back to the video of Gorilla Monsoon clearing Clarence Mason's representitive for action next week. Leif throws Skip hard into the corner and keeps at it, but Skip hits a few more strikes to try and escape. Unfortunately, Leif lands a spinebuster as we go to break. When we return, the New Rockers are still in control, until Marty throws Skip into the corner, causing him to crotch leif on the top. Big Frankensteiner off the top by Skip on to Leif. Zip goes for a splash...
But suddenly The Smoking Gunns hit the ring and start to help the New Rockers in attacking the Body Donnas. The Godwinns show up to help even the odds.
We get recaps of the last few weeks of the assaults on Shawn Michaels by Vader and Mankind. We get an interview with Shawn Michaels by Kevin Kelly (his first Raw appearance I believe) as Shawn says that he's dealt with adversity before and times like this is when he's at his strongest. He never said he's invincible, he can be beaten on any night. Vader did beat him, but at Summerslam he'll have to face him one on one. Plus The Kliq will be on his side. The odds are stacked against him. Any time you step in the ring there's a great many concerns, mainly losing the WWF Title. He's waited for a long time to be champion but the fact is, to beat Shawn, you have to beat him and everyon behind him, and nobody has been able to do it yet.
We get to the "tainted result" of his Iron Man match with Bret and Bret possibly coming back. Shawn says he hopes Bret comes back as the WWF without Bret is like peanut butter without jelly. As far as the critics of his win, that's what critics do, they criticize. As it pertains to tonight's WWF title battle royal, he says there's no one like him who can take a schedule like his, defending against Vader, then facing a fresh challenger the next night. Shawn says that he is the shining star.
Up next, it's the main event. The Raw invitational battle royal for a WWF Title shot. In the ring we'll see Mankind, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, Goldust, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Owen Hart, The British Bulldog, Psycho Sid, Savio Vega, Marc Mero and The Undertaker. Taker runs right after Mankind and both men eliminate each other as they brawl around the ring and up the entrance way.
With two eliminated so far, we go into the match proper with the remaining individuals. Bulldog gets eliminated by Ahmed. Austin and Savio brawl with each other while Bradshaw and Mero come close to elimination. Sid rakes the eye to save Mero then goes after Austin. We get an advertisement for the Bikini Beach Blast Off at the Summerslam Free For All. Reminder: I still miss the women's division. Bradshaw gets eliminated by Sid. Ahmed and Mero work on Owen in the corner whil Sid stomps down on Austin and Savio keeps on Goldust. Owen gets thrown over, but skins the cat, only to get launched over again. Owen argues with the referees as we go to commercial. When we return, there are no new eliminations. We are down ot the final six... make that five as Goldust throws Mero over the top rope.
And then Savio, the biggest idiot ever, does a wheel kick to Goldust in the corner that sends him over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. Meanwhile, Undertaker and Mankind brawl into the crowd and return to the ring, still brawling despite being eliminated. Mankind tries to retreat through the crowd and Taker continues at it as they make it out of the arena again. We're down to four in the ring as Sid and Austin keep at each other and Goldust works on Ahmed. Ahmed comes back with a clothesline to Goldust and helps Sid in trying to throw out Austin.
Goldust makes the save and low blows Ahmed. He follows with a middle rope elbow to Ahmed. Sid lays in fists to Goldust, then goes after Austin. Austin knocks down Sid and hits another middle rope elbow. Ahmed almost eliminates Goldust, but Goldust saves himself. Doesn't save him from a spinebuster. Ahmed goes for a Pearl River Plunge, but Goldust saves himself. Meanwhile, Mankind and Taker continue to brawl as we go to break.
When we return, Sid "sack of crap" powerbombs Goldust. Austin keeps at Sid, and goes for a piledriver, but Sid back drops him. Sid sets up yet another powerbomb as the crowd is super hot. He drops Austin almost as rough as he did Goldust. Curtain call by Goldust. Sid then goes for a chinlock in a BATTLE ROYAL! This gives us time to recap the brawl from Mankind and Undertaker on the backstage as Taker slams Mankind on the steel. Mankind tries to escape, but Taker grabs him and keeps pummeling.
Back in the ring, no eliminations yet, but Austin is back in control with elbows. Owen and Bulldog return to ringside to distract Sid, allowing Austin to get the elimination. Sid, angered, goes after Camp Cornette. Goldust tries to play peacemaker with Austin as they assault Ahmed. But it doesn't take long for Goldust to turn on him and attack. He tries to throw Austin out, but Austin makes the save. He then hits a low blow to Goldust, which on a normal situation would be something that Goldust would be all in for.
Ahmed then works on Austin instead of getting rid of Goldust first. With Goldust's help, they throw Austin out, leaving us down to the final two. Ahmed's nose looks to be busted yet again as it's just dripping blood. Ahmed lays in fists and throws Goldust hard into the buckle. He scoop slams Goldust then collapses. Goldust begins to stomp down on Ahmed, then lays in an elbow drop to the injured kidneys. He then drops a piledriver on Ahmed as we go to yet another break. When we return, Ahmed locks in a body scissors on Goldust. I guess the logic is to knock Goldust out to ensure a throw over the ropes?
Regardless, Ahmed bumps Goldust, as both men tumble over. However, Ahmed saves himself by his feet as Goldust falls out, giving Ahmed the win and a title shot the night after Summerslam. A pretty good battle royal with a lot of action within, but it could have definitely been shaved a good ten minutes or so. Savio's botch (since was supposed to last longer) was hilariously bad, and the unique way Ahmed won was clever. Not to mention the interwoven stuff with Undertaker and Mankind. Good stuff all around.
Vince interviews Ahmed (whose jocks are wedged all the way up his ass crack) after the win, reminding him he has the right to face either Sid or Shawn. He says he's conflicted since if he goes against Shawn he'll be sad since Shawn's like a brother to him. Now if it it's Vader that's a party. Faarooq shows up and confronts Ahmed. Both men brawl in the ring as officials hold them back as Raw comes to a close.
Overall, this was one of the better editions of Raw in quite some time. I like the continuing antagonism that Jerry Lawler is placing on Jake "The Snake" Roberts with the jabs at his alcoholism, the tag match was okay, though there seemed to be more focus on other things besides the match itself, and the battle royal, while long, still really worked in continuing to focus on all the major angles going into Summerslam. Giving us time for Undertaker and Mankind to brawl, while Camp Cornette dealt with Sid, and Ahmed continued his feud with ol' Nerf Helmet Faarooq. It definitely worked in getting me somewhat more invested in Summerslam than I was, so points for that. This Raw gets an A- rating.
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