Friday, February 16, 2018

One Season Wonders: Clerks: The Animated Series (2000)


In our last edition of One Season Wonders, we covered a kids cartoon based on a movie license. This time, we flip the script to see how an adult cartoon based on a movie series would fare in prime time. The answer: not so well. Snoochie Boochies, it's Clerks: The Animated Series. Unlike our previous reviews which saw shows cancelled after their 13 episode one season run had finished, Clerks stumbled ass over teakettle out of the starting gate, premiering on May 31st, 2000 on ABC, only to be cancelled on June 7th, 2000. Only two episodes originally saw air out of the mere six that were completed. Eventually the remaining episodes saw release on DVD and aired on television later on through Comedy Central and Adult Swim.

Clerks first saw reality in 1994 as an independent film from director Kevin Smith. The black and white misadventures of Dante Hicks, a convenience store clerk from Leonardo, New Jersey. Despite his constant complaints of how he wasn't supposed to be there that day, he still has to deal with being #37, his slacker coworker Randall Graves who works for the next door video store RST Video, a pair of goofball drug dealers named Jay and Silent Bob, among other things. The movie proved a massive success, grossing 3 million dollars from it's 27 thousand budget and launched Smith's career as a director. Following that, Smith continued the View Askewniverse with Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma.

The plan next was to bring Clerks to television through an animated series, which was picked up by ABC. And knowing ABC's poor history with any animated prime time sitcom not named The Flintstones, the show never stood a ghost of a chance. As previously mentioned, only two episodes ever saw air and even then those two weren't in production order. Be it the crude humor of the series or just a lack of interest, ABC ultimately canned the show without giving it a chance. But did it deserve that chance? Let's look through the episodes to see if we can mine some gold.

SERIES OVERVIEW


Clerks: The Animated Series pretty much leaves us where we left off with 1994's film as we see the continuing adventures of Dante and Randall. However, now that it's an animated series, the adventures are more wacky and the humor more over the top (kind of like what Clerks 2 became if you think about it). Unlike most movie-to-cartoon adaptations, all of the original core cast reprise their voice roles. Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson return as Dante and Randall while Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith return as Jay and Silent Bob. However, due to ABC's standards and practices, Jay and Silent Bob are no longer drug dealers, but sell illegal fireworks among other miscreant misadventures. Much like shows at the time like Family Guy, Clerks also relied heavily on cutaway gags and crude humor, but knowing Smith's writing style for the Askewniverse, this fits right up their alley.



Episode 1: Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has an Important Decision to Make (yes, the titles are that long). It's another day at the Quick Stop with Dante and Randall driving customers to the brink of insanity and dealing with the shenanigans of Jay and Silent Bob, when they soon learn of the return of the mysterious Leonardo Leonardo (voiced by Alec Baldwin), who has returned to Leonardo to open the Quicker Stop, a futuristic convenience store. This being part of his convoluted plan to drive the rest of Leonardo out of business. It works, despite Dante and Randall still managing to make some money before the Quick Stop is put out of business. Leonardo tries to buy them out (much to Dante's approval), but Randall turns him down. We learn more of his plan to turn the rest of Leonardo into a North of the Border store, then a domed pleasure paradise of some sort where everyone works for him. They eventually stop him, and Jay and Silent Bob end up blowing up the Quicker Stop unintentionally. Leonardo Leonardo swears vengeance on the clerks in a Mr. Burns-esque fashion and we end...


With Jay and Silent Bob (and not Charles Barkley) teaching some kids about tying their food up in a tree while camping to avoid bears.

For a first episode, it's okay. Sets up the concept of Clerks pretty well with Dante and Randall going through wacky adventures while still remaining the slackers that they are. I will say the pacing felt all over the place and not every joke really landed perfectly. Though there were still some good bits like the "is it safe?" gag from the first part of the episode, Leonardo Leonardo trying to build a desk, the batman rope climbing joke and whatnot. I just wish the whole thing felt a bit more focused and clean for me to fully enjoy it.



Episode 2: The Clipshow Where Dante and Randall Get Locked in the Freezer and Remember Some of The Great Moments in Their Lives. The second episode to ever see air is bizarrely enough a clip show episode. After being supposedly robbed (though not really, the store is just poorly taken care of), the locks at the Quick Stop end up changed. Dante and Randall test the new locks for the freezer, only to end up locked inside in classic sitcom fashion. This leads the two with nothing else to do but the reminisce about their many adventures. But since one episode has even been made at this point, expect a lot of callbacks to that rope joke from when they climbed Leonardo tower. However, since that episode never actually aired, I can only imagine the viewer who actually watched the ABC broadcasts would be even more confused.



We see how Dante and Randall supposedly met, them almost becoming priests, how Randall had a mail order Japanese husband, and many many more fast gags. Eventually Jay and Silent Bob end up stuck in the freezer with them, and eventually they all escape, only for Dante and Randall to conveniently end up locked in the video store with the AC broken, so they're essentially locked in the freezer again. This leads to them remembering watching Flintstones List (a joke too dark for even ABC to air), while reminiscing on all the celebrities who have stopped at the Quick Stop over the years and the time they worked at an English convenience store (complete with a somewhat dated fag cigarette joke). This ultimately leads to them reminiscing on Happy Days episodes until we learn they eventually got free later as they're talking to their hockey buddies and the whole thing just ends on an out of nowhere Stand By Me reference from an old version of Jay.


Our PSA for this episode sees Jay and Silent Bob (and again, NOT Charles Barkley) help kids beat boredom on a rainy day with a disappearing coin trick.

This episode was good, but I also think it suffers a lot from its premise. While a lot of the gags were great (especially running gags like Dante being the biggest idiot ever and the burn wards), the concept kind of starts to lose its humor quick and you can tell by the end that the episode hit a wall in how to keep itself interesting for 21 minutes while also trying to find a way to end this in a satisfying way. In the end, while a clever take on the all too hated clip show, it just falls apart way too fast to fully be appreciated.



Episode 3: Leonardo Is Caught in the Grip of an Outbreak of Randal’s Imagination and Patrick Swayze Either Does or Doesn’t Work in the New Pet Store. A new pet store opens next to the quick stop. When Randall learns that the store has a pet monkey, he begins to fear a possible virus outbreak, like in that movie Outbreak. However a virus outbreak does hit Leonardo when Randall sells Leonardo Leonardo a crate of bad burritos. The Quick Stop becomes quarantined due to the supposed Motaba virus, and Dante and Randall only have a day left to live. They think to use the monkey to make an antidote, but Jay and Silent Bob have taken the monkey to teach it to smoke. Eventually they learn that Leonardo Leonardo's illness was from the burritos, but the town is about to be bombed any way. They manage to stop the bomber (by having Dante say he's gay), and we end on another Jay and Silent Bob segment...

Which is essentially the two of them beating the crap out of Charles Barkley for stealing their shtick. 

This is probably the best episode of the show so far, as it's the one that feels the least chaotic in its writing. Again I feel the ending is super rushed, but other than that the pacing for this episode was actually consistent. Lots of good gags in this one from Patrick Swayze (voiced by Gilbert Gottfried), to the mayor and chief of police dressed as Mayor McCheese and Big Mac, which gives us the iconic "nothing can kill the grimace" line, plus the running gag of Lando the token black character who ultimately gets ignored. I will say there are some gags that fall a bit flat like Dante and Randall trying to get a burger without ketchup, but other than that, a fine episode.



Episode 4: A Dissertation on the American Justice System by People Who Have Never Been Inside a Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, but Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers. The first of the two episodes to see air, we open with Randall taking charge of the Quick Stop, but as you'd expect, failing on a massive level. It's made no better when Jay slips on a puddle of soda and sues the Quick Stop (and Dante) for ten million dollars. The episode goes into further insanity as Randall represents Dante in court held by the honorable Judge Reinhold and a jury of NBA all-stars. We get a little of everything from Judge Reinhold remembering his days on the beat with Axel Foley, Randall getting his money back from movie directors, and ending on a crazy anime segment (who is driving? Oh my god Bear is driving how can that be?) and Jay and a robber suing new Quick Stop clerk Judge Reinhold.


This one feels a lot more chaotic than most episodes. They have an interesting plot in Dante being sued by Jay, but it just falls into one crazy gag after another. Makes sense to do so obviously with Randall representing Dante and Randall being an idiot, but I can't say it hits the mark perfectly. That being said though, a lot of great moments are still in this episode, especially the Beverly Hills Cop parody and the anime scene at the end, which while iconic for this show, does feel like another example of not knowing how to end the episode on a logical note. For the first episode aired, I don't think it gets the show out on the right foot, but the title I guess says it all, it's a legal thriller from people who don't actually understand the legal system to begin with.


Episode 5: Dante and Randal and Jay and Silent Bob and a Bunch of New Characters and Lando Take Part in a Whole Bunch of Movie Parodies.  After both feel burned at their high school reunion, Dante and Leonardo Leonardo work together on a little league team. In other words, this is our Bad News Bears take. Meanwhile Randall becomes obsessed with an old arcade game called Pharaoh. After beating the high score, he is put into slave labor. When it turns out that Jay not only has a great arm, and is legally in the fourth grade, Dante gets him to join his team so they have any chance at all. And, as expected, they start to succeed, making it to the little league world series. We then go from Bad News Bears parody to Temple of Doom as Dante and his team go to rescue children (and Randall) from their captors. And we end with Dante's team getting a victory over the malnourished children and winning the little league world series.

Good episode, if not their darkest in a lot of ways. From an opening joke about the majority of the class of 1980 dying in the Challenger explosion, to the entire end game with the weakened children being obliterated by Dante's team, plus the whole gag of every girl Randall's ever been with turning into a lesbian. Even though the episode ultimately is just a mish mash of everything from Bad News Bears to The Last Starfighter to Temple of Doom, compared to some other episodes so far, this one at least feels consistent in its story and, compared to most, at least has a more logical ending instead of just throwing everything at the wall in the last two minutes. Also, it's weirdly satisfying to see some comeuppance on Randall for once. A definite up for the penultimate episode.



Episode 6: The Last Episode Ever (wow, a short title for once). After getting complaints in a Comic-Con panel about the show not being at all like the original movie, Dante promises to bring the show back to its old school roots. But of course that's not the case and we devolve further into parodies. Dante thinks he has a chance to date Caitlyn Brie, plus there's a fair outside, but Dante and Randall are forced to stay in the Quick Stop all night. Also someone keeps calling Dante wanting to show him the truth about the Matrix, gorillas escape from their pens, Leonardo Leonardo challenges Dante and Randall to a soccer game against a Brazilian soccer team, Randall prank calls Bill Clinton which gets them in trouble with the FBI, pinheads, cannibalism, hookers, vampires, and so much more that we don't get to see, ultimately ending with Dante and Randall in the matrix, which is more like Duck Amuck from Looney Tunes.

Honestly, for the perhaps unintentional final episode, I think this one works great as a finale. Taking a stab at both how the animated series may be a bit too fantastical for the premise of Clerks, while also taking a shot at how the original Clerks movie doesn't exactly equate well into an animated series. The pace is fine with how everything outside ends up more and more chaotic and the set up of the Matrix parody starts early and actually has a good pay off. Also this may have some sort of record for most gay jokes in an episode, even for this show.



BEST EPISODE: THE VIRUS EPISODE


Yeah, I'm not repeating those titles. Of all six of the Clerks episodes, I'd say that the Patrick Swayze virus episode was perhaps its best as it felt like the one that was far less all over the place. It started with its main plot and finished with a logical (for this show at least) ending. Plus, again, that Grimace line is a thing of absolute perfection and I'll hear not an ill word.


WORST EPISODE: THE FREEZER EPISODE


I don't think that there really were any bad episodes of Clerks, but if there was one I felt was the weakest, it would be the clip show. I liked the concept of the clip show on a show's second episode, but I do feel like the premise does wear itself thin really quick. But it does score points for that dark as hell Flintstones List joke.


DOES THIS SHOW HOLD UP?: YES-ISH

I do think Clerks: The Animated Series was a great show, complete with a lot of brilliant jokes, but I do feel it does suffer from feeling too dated for its own good, particularly with the movie references. Being someone who revels in nostalgia I can appreciate these jokes, but I can see how someone new to this show may roll their eyes at a Matrix parody. That, and the show does feel like it relies way too much on the gay jokes, to the point that even the show makes fun of itself over it.


DID IT DESERVE A LONGER RUN?: YES

Clerks got screwed over. Simple as. ABC never had faith in them and the show never had a chance out of the starting gate. Only six episodes were completed, which is barely a full season of most sitcoms. Some of the planned, but never finished episodes sounded fun including a Batman parody, a Knight Rider parody, and Jay joining a boy band. Even if they would have still had the chaotic writing style of the series, I think they still would have worked. Ultimately I could have seen Clerks lasting maybe two seasons max before it completely ran out of gas, but the fact it didn't even get a full one is pretty awful.


FINAL THOUGHTS

Clerks: The Animated Series is far from a perfect animated sitcom. It suffers from chaotic writing and often finds itself writing into a corner with no logical outs for episodes. Granted, that felt like something that wasn't the case for the last few episodes, but since it never made it past six episodes, it never had a chance to improve. But in the end, there were a lot of great gags, a lot of good moments, and there wasn't really any bad episodes. A couple weak ones, but far from anything horrible. It works well as a strange (for View Askew at least) detour in the Askewniverse. I know there were rumors years ago to bring it back in some form, but those never really continued. But if the show does come back, hopefully with more experience than the original incarnation, I'll be happily ready to give it a shot.

FINAL RATING: B+ 

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