Dibiase distracts Razor as Tatanka gets in a cheap shot to open. He lays some chops in the corner, but Razor comes back with some of his own. Hard whips into the buckles and a hiptoss by Razor, who follows with a big clothesline sending Tatanka over the top rope. After some stalling, Tatanka comes back in with more chops and several blows to the lower back. Razor comes back with hard rights, but gets turned around into a clothesline from Tatanka. He sets up a backdrop, but gets a facebuster for his troubles. Razor works the arm with some headbutts to the bicep followed by some wringers.
A test of strength from both men is contested by Tatanka yanking the hair of Razor, but Razor regains momentum turning it into a hammerlock. However Tatanka breaks out and lands even more chops. He hits a body slam and an elbow drop. Cover only gets a two count. After even more chops, Tatanka ends up tossed over the ropes by Razor, landing awkwardly on his knee. Tatanka tries to get back in, but Razor keeps him out. Eventually Tatanka guillotines Razor on the top rope to get himself back in.
He stomps down Razor as the crowd is behind the champ. Both men go to the outside as Tatanka... you guessed it... chops Razor some more as we go to break. When we return, Tatanka is still in control and still chopping. He lands a series of scoop slams and covers for two. He hits an irish whip and an elbow to the jaw of Razor. He follows with an abdominal stretch, using Dibiase for leverege. Eventually the referee sees the assist and forces the break. Tatanka hits more blows to Razor, keeping him down. Razor reverses into an abdominal stretch, but gets hiptossed by Tatanka, who also misses an elbow drop. Razor hammers in some shots and goes for his back suplex off the top buckle, succeeding in the landing.
Razor signals for the Razor's Edge, but Ted Dibiase is on the apron causing a distraction. Tatanka, after a good minute finally gets a sneak attack, landing some stomps.
Lex Luger comes down the aisle for the save (wearing the ugliest damn shirt I've ever seen in my life), but Bam Bam Bigelow, anticipating this I guess, gets in a sneak attack on Luger. Tatanka attacks Luger, causing the count out. Razor comes in for the save as both he and Luger fight off the corporation.
A boring as hell match to open Raw. If Tatanka's ring work was bland as a babyface, it's somehow worsened as a heel. Even more focus on chops and scoop slams. Gone are the cross bodies, the flying tomahawks, and, yes, it even appears the ram into the buckle is gone. So, what we get is a match where a boring heel is in control, and the face barely gets in any interesting offense. Only to end in a lame smoz, making the 15+ minutes feel even more pointless. Not a good start to this edition of Raw at all.
After the match, Vince and Savage shill the upcoming Hart Attack tour.
Vince to Savage: Speaking of the Hart attack tour, when was the last time you had a checkup?
Up next it's Kwang in action against Rich Meyers. Oh good. More chops. Meyers get an early offense with a headscissors and a dropkick, but gets laid out with a massive chop from Kwang. Kwang spews his read mist and lays in some chops and a clothesline. He lands down some more strikes and a chop to the throat. Vince is more interested in talking about football than this match. I don't blame him. Meyers misses a cross body, and eats a spin kick as Kwang gets the three in a bland, but thankfully short, squash.
It's time for this week's edition of the King's Court. King talks about pets, telling the fans that a cockroach on leash doesn't count as a pet. There's a new dog in town, Davey Boy Smith. Which, considering the Bulldog was around for years before his prior exit, is kind of untrue. Davey Boy comes out to a great ovation. Lawler has been saving up all his dog puns and he damn sure goes through with all of them.
"My dog's name is Timex. he's a watch dog!"
"Did you hear Snoopy signed in his resignation? He got tired of working for peanuts!"
"After you're done wrestling, do you get dog tired?"
Jeez, I've read Bazooka Joe comics with better punchlines.
After about a good couple minutes of gags Lawler probably stole from a third grader's joke book, Lawler goes too far by bringing up how meeting his wife Diana was like puppy love. Davey gets offended, and promises that they'll have to pick Lawler up from the ring with a pooper scooper.
As if this segment couldn't feel more awkward, here comes Jim "The Ramble" Neidhart to make this even more of a ruff sit. He claims that Bulldog isn't a Hart, and that if he wants to stick his dog nose in family business, why not take on Neidhart next week on Raw. Bulldog says that he is part of the family, and that Bret invited him to Summerslam to watch his back. Because let's face it, picking Bruce Hart to watch your back is just pretty much asking to get your ass kicked. He accepts Neidhart's challenge next week.
It's the 1-2-3 Kid in action next against Kerry Davis in all his man boobed glory. Both men exchanged hammerlocks, but the kid gets in a snapmare. Davis complains about hair pulls and follows in with some arm wringers, but the kid gets in some big kicks and a headlock takedown for two.
But never mind all that in-ring stuff as Bob Backlund comes do to ringside with a present for Randy Savage. I mean, whatever's inside will never top the great gift of nothing given to Kamala by Doink, but it's the thought that counts.
Also Savage has a bad history with gifts.
Back in the ring, Davis misses an elbow drop as the Kid lands more chops. Vince reads the note from Backlund as it's revealed that it's a dictionary given to Savage so he can teach the plebeians better. The kid misses a dropkick in the corner and gets rammed in the buckle. But the kid lands a couple more kicks and a diving leg drop off the top rope for three in a forgettable match. Due mainly in part of being in the middle of a different angle.
Up next is perhaps the greatest damn thing I've seen in a while. It's a vignette for the returning King Kong Bundy. The reporter compares Bundy to King Kong, but doubts that he's actually eighty feet tall. I guess he's wrong as a gigantic Bundy grabs the set and laughs like a maniac. You see, this is the corny stuff I was hoping to get when I started this project. Shame that means I have to actually watch Bundy wrestle.
Our last match of the evening is the WWF Tag Team Champs Shawn Michaels and Diesel taking on Bob Starr and Chris Kanyon.
Yes, that Chris Kanyon.
Vince brings up that Headshrinker Samu has apparently called it quits. A lot of the reasons given by Vince were "he didn't want to wear boots" and "he ate bad fish and got sick". But the real reason for this was that he was recovering from injuries.
Shawn and Kanyon start the match as Shawn gets a shoulder block and a running elbow to the face. He follows with a body slam and a stomp to the face. Tag to Diesel who gets in a punch to the ribs. He tosses Kanyon around in the corner and lands some massive elbows and knees. Bob Starr gets the tag, but is met with a boot to the face from Shawn Michaels. Tag to Shawn who lands a body slam and drops an elbow off the second rope. He follows with a stalling suplex and a tag to Diesel who gets a punch in the ribs and a sidewalk slam. Irish whip and a big boot by Diesel, who finishes it off with a jacknife powerbomb. Allowing Shawn to cover for three. Shawn knocks Kanyon off the apron and Diesel tosses Starr out of the ring.
Post-match, Shawn and Diesel get attacked by the Headshrinkers, Fatu and the replacement for Samu, Sione, formerly the Barbarian. They kick around Shawn for a bit and toss him out of the ring. They pose with the belt, sending Shawn and Diesel in retreat.
We end Raw with Albano rambling about Samu's exit and the adition of Sione. I dunno, this replacement already stinks of crap. Diesel wants to brawl with the Shrinkers, but Shawn tries in vain to hold him off as Raw goes off the air.
This was a raw that got progressively better as it went on. It started dry with a boring Razor/Tatanka match and looked to keep in the downward trend with a Kwang match. The King's Court with Davey Boy and Neidhart was okay, but nothing amazing. But once we got Backlund giving Savage a dictionary, that amazing King Kong Bundy vignette and a decent Shawn/Diesel squash turned into an angle with the New Headshrinkers, it definitely picked my attention back up. So the fairest rating for this Raw is a B-. Definitely more interesting than I thought it would be in the end. Next week, it's Women's tag team action and a Bulldog/Neidhart match. Let's hope for some continued momentum heading into the Survivor Series.
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