It's July 4th, 1994. Independence day. The Lion King is still roaring into the #1 box office spot, All-4-One is still number one with "I Swear", and the WWF is running yet another set of tapings in Bushkill, Pennsylvania. In fact the entire month of July is running from the Fernwood Resort. It's Gorilla and Savage still at the table, since we're nearing ever closer to the trial. Since that trial is happening, let's get to talking about it and why it almost led to the company's demise.
Way back in an older edition of TOTNG, I covered how Hulk Hogan's red and yellow lies on the Arsenio Hall show about not using steroids got him and the WWF in hot water. This had to do with Penn State doctor George Zahorian selling steroids to the superstars, including the hulkster. As the situation worsened, Vince would be indicted in 1993, but the case wouldn't see trial until the summer of 1994. Among the many people to testify against McMahon was Kevin Wacholz, AKA
Nailz.
Nailz was a short lived character of a former convict who was getting revenge on the Big Bossman for the punishment he claimed to have suffered in prison. Well, didn't you ever hear his theme song? He warned you that you'd be serving hard times. In December of 1992 however, things got more violent than expected as after an argument over poor pay, Wacholz would attack Vince McMahon and attempted to choke the life out of him.
So, with that history in mind and the fact that Wacholz made it pretty clear in court that he hated McMahon's guts, his testimony was called into question. However, prosecution had one more ace up their sleeve. They had a star witness. One who just had a falling out with McMahon and surely would tear him a new one. And that witness was Hulk Hogan.
Yes, even the world of federal court revolves around Hogan-Senpai.
Hogan, however testified in favor of McMahon, claiming that he never told Hogan to take steroids, nor were they ever sold to him. Vince eventually testified that he had taken steroids in the 80's and eventually was acquited. He would return to day to day operations (while the company was being run by his wife Linda) and things went back to normal. Vince McMahon is a man who doesn't believe in "forgive and forget" when he's the one scorned, however. And among the many people hoping to see him in jail was New York Post editor Phil Mushnick. Mushnick has had a long history of hatred for the company and tried as hard as possible to bury McMahon in as much dirt as possible. But hell hath no fury like a McMahon scorned and on an episode of Superstars in 1995, long after the trial, McMahon cut a shoot promo on the post and others that tried to take him down. Although he does go a bit too far essentially placing most of the blame for the trial on Mushnick.
So now that we've covered the interesting trial, let's get to covering my personal nightmare. It's Tatanka vs Jeff Jarrett in our opener.
Tatanka attacks Jarrett early to start. Jarrett tries a slingshot, but gets caught into a powerslam for two. Vertical suplex from Tatanka (Which Monsoon actually refers to as Suplex City. Maybe Brock Lesnar was just a really big fan of Gorilla's commentary?) and a cover for two. Jarrett turns things around into a headlock. Jarrett gets a shoulder block, but Tatanka turns things around with a leapfrog and an arm drag. Chop and a headlock from the Native American. Jarrett tries a hiptoss, but Tatanka turns it around and goes right back into the extra long headlock. And I mean long as in a good three minutes long.
Jarrett breaks free and leapfrogs, but gets caught on the second try with a chop to the head. Jarrett takes Tatanka's momentum and tosses him over the top rope to the outside. He follows with an axe handle off the apron. He follows with a second axe handle and a ram into the apron. He goes for a third, but gets caught with chops from Tatanka. But Jarrett manages to ram Tatanka into the post. Referee calls for the bell as the referee calls for a countout. Jarrett isn't very happy about this and grabs a mic. He always wins his matches fair and square. He calls Randy Savage a cheater, but he sure isn't. He tells the referee to restart the match. Jeff Jarrett is offically the biggest heel in the WWF at this point. He makes me have to continue watching a Tatanka match!
We return from break as Jarrett hits a big elbow to the face of Tatanka for two. Jarrett places Tatanka in a long chinlock, which is eventually broken out with some elbows and a sleeper hold. Jarrett sends Tatanka back first into the corner to break and follows with a whip to the corner and a clothesline for a two count. Jarrett complains to the referee and follows with a sleeper of his own to Tatanka. After about two minutes, the ref does the arm drop spot, but Tatanka wakes up and escapes. Jarrett stops his momentum, only to do what
EVERY
SINGLE
PERSON
HAS
DONE
IN
A
FRIGGING
TATANKA
MATCH
He rams Tatanka head first into the turnbuckle, and then a second time. Tatanka does his war dance, hits some chops and covers for two. Jarrett reverses a whip to the corner, only to get a boot to the face and a DDT for two. Jarrett slides out to escape, but Tatanka throws him right back in. Tatanka follows with a top rope tomahawk for two as Jarrett gets his foot on the rope. Jarrett tries to escape again...
Only to get squirted by Dink. Doink comes running down with a bucket of water. Jarrett runs back into the ring, only to be rolled up for the three by Tatanka, mercifully ending this long match. If it had ended on the count out, I'd have been happy. But continuing just for more long chinlock and sleeper holds and a lack of interesting ring psychology only made this more tedium than entertainment. And most insulting of all, Doink doesn't even throw the water at Jarrett. Even Heel Doink would have done that.
It's that time of the week again. It's the King's Court. His guest this week is the 1-2-3 Kid, who next week on Raw will face Bret Hart for the WWF Championship. The kid was so thin as a kid that the teachers kept calling him absent. Next Monday, the king will be pulling for him to win because he hates Bret's stinkin' guts. The kid kisses up to Bret Hart in face fashion, which annoys the King. He promises that he will not win the title with an attitude like that and tries to entice him in being heelish. The Kid keeps his focus and says that if luck's on his side, Bret might make a mistake and he might be champ. Gotta admit, this is the least fired up I've ever heard anyone for having a WWF title shot. Maybe it's the kid's bad promo work to begin with, but his "if I win cool, if not, oh well" attitude really doesn't sell me on the importance of this title match.
Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart is in action next against Gary Scott. Owen is in Anvil's corner as he starts with a bit to the forehead and a big back body drop. He locks in a chinlock and follows with a forearm to back and a hard whip to the corner. He bites the forehead as "We Want Bret" chants begin to fill the arena. Neidhart sets Scott into the tree of woe and hits some stomps. He chokes Scott in the corner with his boot as Owen continues to scream at him. A "Traitor" chant is made as Savage quotes "The Shadow". He puts in a chinlock and eventually tosses out Scott to the outside. Neidhart brings him back in and finishes off with a running powerslam for the three in a dull squash. A few decent hard spots, but nothing that really stuck off as incredible.
Up next, it's Duke "The Dumpster" Droese against "Iron" Mike Sharpe. Sharpe tries to shoulder block Droese, but to no avail. Neither is Sharpe's attempts at body slams. But Droes gets a slam of his own and an atomic drop. He teases a stomp to the groil, but follows with an elbow drop. It's Savage's USA Network Shill. Al Pacino in "Sea of Love".
Sharpe tries to ram Droese into the buckle, but Droese lands about 20 to Sharpe. One corner to another. He lands a clothesline and covers for two. Droese hits a big elbow to the head and a suplex. Cover, but Sharpe gets his foot on the rope. Sharpe gains some momentum with a rope choke. He sets up a piledriver, but Droese turns it around into a back drop. Sharpe charges the corner, but misses. Body slam from Droese as the trash man drops the big elbow drop for three in another dull squash, even with Sharpe trying his best.
It's our last match of the night. It's "The Undertaker" (with Ted Dibiase) in action against Mike Bell. Monsoon brings up the history of Undertaker and Dibiase being aligned way back at Survivor Series in 1990. "Taker" starts up with clubbing blows and a choke hold. He follows with a drop toe hold and a grab of hte nostrils. A "He's a fake" chant breaks out as even the crowd isn't buying this phony. "Taker" lands an elbow drow and goes up for the old school off the tope rope. He chokes Bell on the ropes a couple times and follows with a flying clothesline. "Taker" hits the tombstone for the three in a nothing squash. I will admit he tried, but he just can't land the original's mannerisms all that well.
As Dibiase and "Taker' put Mike Bell into a bodybag, Paul Bearer saunters his way to the ring. He beckons to the Undertaker, but Dibiase has the almighty dollar on his side. At first taker resists, but eventually as it's well known, everybody has a price and Dibiase pulls out more money. Taker sides with Dibiase as Bearer walks off in disgust.
We end Raw with Lawler backstage with Ted Dibiase. He invites Dibiase to the King's Court next week. But since Dibiase doesn't want to be around peons, it'll be wherever he wants.
Overall, this was a pretty dull edition of Raw. Two Tatanka/Jarrett matches with neither pleasing me, two dull squashes and an incredibly bland King's Court. Honestly, the highlight of this show was Owen screaming like a maniac, because Owen always makes things just that much better. Overall an avoidable edition of Raw. A D- rating.
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