It's June 20th, 1994 and we're one night removed from the 1994 King of the Ring where we saw a returning Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Roddy Piper humble Jerry Lawler and most importantly, the crowning of the "King of Harts". But for all the big news coming out of the King of the Ring event, perhaps the biggest news came a couple weeks before it. Let's go back to January and the Royal Rumble.
At the Rumble the Undertaker faced Yokozuna in a casket match. However, before Undertaker could put the champion in the "double deep, double wide" casket, the majority of the heel locker room would come out and demolish him, eventually stuffing him in the casket. But while Taker's body may have been broken, the spirit of the Undertaker would live on, as it literally floated away.
Nothing new came about in this storyline until late April when Undertaker sightings began to occur. Claims of Undertaker at a deli, sleeping in a ditch, riding his hearse like Mr. Bean and more would be made in the following weeks. While this is all going down, Ted Dibiase is becoming bad with power. He would buy a poverty stricken Nikolai Volkoff as his personal property. But he wouldn't stop there. He would show up at funeral parlors and cemeteries in search of the Undertaker, believing that everybody's got a price. Even the dead.
On the June 18th edition of Superstars, Dibiase would deliver on his promise and under his management was indeed The Undertaker. Well... not exactly the Undertaker we know so well. He was somewhat shorter, had a different build and a much different face. Wore grey gloves instead of purple. Yes, this is not Mark Calaway, the original Undertaker. This is Brian Lee as the Undertaker. Lee was another wrestler from Cornette's Smoky Mountain Wrestling that Vince would pick up for this upcoming angle. But we'll get more into this angle as the months progress.
So, let's begin the road to the 1994 Summerslam. And we start our journey with tapings in White Plains, New York at the Westchester County Center. It is once again Gorilla Monsoon and Macho Man at the table, but thank the great gods above there is no sign of anything resembling an Art Donovan. Vince is still off television to prepare for the upcoming trial.
They introduce the new Spanish commentary team, which includes a young Carlos Cabrera. Cabrera actually still works Spanish commentary for the WWE, which means he's had a helluva run. Sadly there is still no Spanish announce table for people to get put through.
Opening action tonight is Diesel in a squash match against Mark Thomas. Monsoon and Savage squabble for a bit over if Bret Hart would have kicked out of the Jacknife if Jim Neidhart hadn't caused the disqualification. Diesel gets his head rammed in the corner by Thomas, but Thomas gets dropped with one punch to the face. He gets tossed through the ropes to a waiting Shawn Michaels who lays in a cheap shot while the referee is distracted. As Thomas is brought back in, Diesel lands a big sidewalk slam and and elbow drop. Diesel works some elbows in the corner and fommows with the big snake eyes in the corner. Thomas tries some momentum, but eats a big boot. Jacknife from Diesel gets the three in a basic squash.
Up next it's the 1-2-3 Kid taking on the "Property of Ted Dibiase", Nikolai Volkoff. Savage's voice is nearly gone as it sounds gravely and rough, even for the Macho Man. The kid goes for a handshake, but Volkoff's a heel now so he goes against it. Hard shoves by Volkoff to start. The kid gets a messy cross body for a two. Monsoon brings up that the winner will face Bret Hart on a July episode of Raw for the WWF title. Volkoff hits the Kid with a knee lift and a chokeslam. The kid manages a sunset flip for two, but he's still worn out from the beatings at the King of the Ring. The Kid gets some kicks and Monsoon accidentally calls Randy Mandy.
The Kid manages to get a roll up on Volkoff for two, but is still too weak to regain much momentum. He does land a few more kicks, but still doesn't get more than a two as Nikolai tosses him off. Volkoff sends him throat first into the ropes. He gets annoyed by the crowd chanting "123" and lands a backbreaker, but refuses to put in the three. He lands a second and still plays with the Kid. The Kid's knee buckles while Volkoff enjoys his suffering. Volkoff goes to pick up the Kid, but gets school boyed for the three. Post-match, Volkoff attacks the Kid with a boot and another guilotine on the rope. Who can possibly make the save for the 1-2-3 Kid?
Just Virgil. Never mind, I got excited for a second. Still, a nice nod to past continuity with Dibiase and Virgil. But Volkoff manages to beat Virgil down like the jobber he is.
But here's someone who can send the villains in retreat as Lex Luger arrives to save the day. Dibiase and Volkoff make their escape as the faces celebrate in-ring.
Not a bad match, albeit a bit slow, but to be fair to it, they are still selling the storyline of the amount of punishment the Kid took at the King of the Ring. Volkoff did fine, albeit a bit of his stuff felt slow and sloppy in places. Not a massive mismatch, but nothing spectacular either. And the right person went over in the end as a Bret Hart/1-2-3 Kid match sounds far more appealing on paper than a Bret Hart/Volkoff match.
Yokozuna is in action up next against Nick Barbary. Yoko gets offense early with stomps and fists to the back of Barbary's head. He follows with a body slam. Vince brings up that Typhoon is now after Yokozuna. Yes, Typhoon. He's back. We can finally talk about his infamous WCW stint shortly. Yoko claws at the eyes of Barbary and follows with a choke on the rope. He lands a belly to belly and a leg drop for the three in a fast squash.
Typhoon is in action next against the Black Phantom. Now I neglected to bring this story up back when Typhoon was out of the WWF in 1993, but there is no better time to bring it up now that he's back. Typhoon had left the WWF in the early summer and headed to the WCW in hopes of finally receiving a massive push. The debut was set. A Flair for the Gold segment on an episode of Clash of the Champions would see the debuting Shockmaster as the tag team partner for The British Bulldog and Sting at the upcoming Fall Brawl pay per view. The plan? Pyro goes off and the Shockmaster breaks through the wall looking like a beast.
That didn't happen.
Tripping through the wall like a fat wrecking ball in a glittery storm trooper helmet, fumbling as the helmet falls off his head. This would seal the fate of Fred Ottman's career. Nothing as Tugboat or Typhoon would ever be as reach the levels of infamy as what is still the greatest botch in wrestling history.
Fearing the wrath of George Lucas I guess, Shockmaster would ditch his glittery helmet for a construction worker gimmick where now he was intentionally a clumsy oaf. He would be gone from the WCW in mid 1994 and be brought back to the WWF for a brief feud with Yokozuna now that Earthquake is injured and pretty much done with the company.
Before the match, Yokozuna and Typhoon confront each other on the entrance way. Typhoon gives a punch to Yoko and heads to the ring for his match with the Black Phantom. The Phantom is unable to shoulder block Typhoon. He tries some more offense in the corner as "Tugboat" chants can be heard. Typhoon hits a big clothesline and a toss out of the corner. He lands a nice pair of snap suplexes. Savage does the USA plug of the week while is throat is dying. Albert Finney and Gregory Hines in "Wolfen". Typhoon lands the splash for three.
It's time for the King's Court. Lawler is wearing sunglasses while claiming he handed a beating to Piper. He calls the kid who helped Piper "Piper's daughter" (he was wearing a dress, so I had to assume he was his daughter.) and when she was born Piper's wife didn't know whether to buy a crib of a cage. This is cringeworthy stuff even for Lawler. He's finished with Piper and instead has a new guest. Someone he's wanted to have on for a while. It's Duke "The Dumpster" Droese.
The reason for Droese as the guest has to do with an incident four weeks prior on Superstars where Droese dumped trash on Lawler. He tells Droese not to come in the ring and instead talk to him on the outside. Droese's great comeback is just to tell Lawler that he stinks. Lawler continues with some rather weak barbs, even for Lawler. Lawler references Ace Ventura by saying the reason Jim Carrey did the "do not go in there" line was because of Duke Droese. Kind of stretching it for a reference there.
He brings up Stu and Helen Hart, calling them garbage. Droese is tied of the barbs and walks out. Lawler gets annoyed and lays a cheap shot. He takes the trash can and starts bashing Droese with it. Officials try to stop him as the camera pans further away from the beating.
Our final match of the night is the Heavenly Bodies in action against Jim Powers and Russ Greenberg. Jim Cornette is at ringside as Greenberg and Del Ray begin. The Headshrinkers will defend against the Heavenly Bodies soon. Powers gets a shoulder block and follows with a hiptoss and body slam. He lands a clothesline. Pritchard comes in and also takes a shoulder block and a body slam. This is most offense I've seen jobbers have. Del Ray gets a slingshot clothesline to Powers.
Greenberg comes in and the Bodies finally get some control. Del Ray hits a belly to belly and tags in Pritchard. The lands a double ddt spot. Pritchard rakes the face and both men continue double teaming. A moonsault from Del Ray gets the quick three.
Monsoon and Savage take about a minute to apologize for the beating by Jerry Lawler. You want proof of how kid friendly the product is trying to be, then this is the finest case. Kind of hard to call yourself "Uncut, Uncooked and UNCENSORED" if you have to justify censoring certain actions. They turn things around to a commercial for Summerslam. A schlubby guy outside on his beach chair watching WWF, while his wife watches from the window annoyed.
And then this happens. God bless you awful 90's effects.
We end Raw with Ted Dibiase backstage. He has his eyes on Lex Luger and now that he has the likes of Undertaker and Volkoff in tow, maybe even "Mr. Made in the USA" has a price for the Million Dollar Man.
This was a rather dry edition of Raw. A lot of fast squashes and an okay at best match with 1-2-3 Kid vs Nikolai Volkoff match. The King's Court this week was cringeworthy as well as it was just Lawler with some of his worst jokes yet. Honestly, I can say I have no interest in this feud with Lawler and Duke Droese. And knowing where this Dibiase/Luger angle is going I can say I'm not looking forward to that either. For a start to the Summerslam build, this was a bland show. Hopefully this isn't a sign of a rough couple months to the Pay Per View. This Raw gets a D.
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