Sunday, June 5, 2016

A Taste of the New Generation: Broken Harts: WWF King of the Ring 1994


It's June 19th, 1994. The Lion King has opened in theaters, All-4-One is still topping the charts with "I Swear" and the media circus that is the OJ Simpson murder trial is underway with a bang as OJ tries to get away in his white Bronco. But before we could even fathom the thought of Ross from Friends playing Robert Kardashian, in the world of the WWE, the biggest topic at hand was crowning a new King of the Ring. Last year's historic event ended with Bret "The Hitman" Hart seizing the crown. And one year later, the tournament continues with eight men vying for the opportunity to rule all they see.


We saw the card fill up as the weeks progressed, with qualifiers on Raw and Superstars. IRS got the ball rolling by defeating Scott Steiner while Mabel defeated Pierre. Razor Ramon went over Kwang while Bam Bam Bigelow sent Sparky Plugg into a crashing halt. "Double J" Jeff Jarrett defeated Lex Luger by count out thanks to interference from Crush, while the 1-2-3 Kid defused Adam Bomb. Owen Hart defeated Doink who subbed for an injured Earthquake and Tatanka needed two matches against Crush to cement his spot, setting us on our way to our defined eight.


Bret Hart has held on to his WWF Championship strongly since Wrestlemania X. Being a man of his word, he promised to take on all challengers. His biggest challenger would come in the form of "Big Daddy Cool" Diesel. On April 13th, 1994's edition of Superstars, Diesel would dethrone Razor Ramon and win the Intercontinental title. Feeling on top of the world, Diesel issued the challenge to Bret Hart, which Hart accepted. On the May 30th King's Court, Diesel would get a cheap shot and a jacknife powerbomb on to Bret to send a message to the champ. With Shawn Michaels in Diesel's corner, Bret needed someone in his corner to even the odds. Someone from his own family.


"Rowdy" Roddy Piper returned to the WWF for the first time in two years at Wrestlemania X, serving as the guest referee in the Bret Hart/Yokozuna WWF title match. After that, he would continue to work in Hollywood on movies. While he was away, Jerry Lawler began mocking Piper and making his own version of Piper's Pit (dubbed "The King's Court") a mainstay on Monday Night Raw. Lawler would berate Piper, mocking his kilt and whatnot. Pretty much what every heel has ever done with Piper. But the biggest insult to Piper would be when Jerry Lawler would go to a children's hospital in Ontario and mock the sick kids. This spurned the Hot Rod to step back into the ring one more time to shut the mouth of the arrogant King once and for all.

King of the Ring was held in the Baltimore Arena in Baltimore, Maryland to an attendance of 12,000, almost double of last year's event from Dayton, Ohio. It also gained about 261,000 buys on PPV, being slightly up from 1993. Vince McMahon is not present on commentary tonight as the upcoming steroid trial is underway, so he's written off as having a neck injury (hence the big brace you see in the pics during the trial). It's Gorilla Monsoon, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, and... oh god it's time to finally talk about him...

Art Donovan. 

A football defensive tackle and a pro football hall of famer, Donovan was a hometown hero in Baltimore. But most important of all, the man doesn't know a headlock from a head of lettuce. You know how the WWF feels that adding celebrities boosts their image? It's something they still do to this day. And you know how a lot of celebs they get aren't even wrestling fans (case in point Jeremy "Summerfest" Piven)? If ever you wanted an example of someone completely lost when it comes to wrestling, you have it in spades with ol' Art.  The man is so out of his element that his biggest concerns are how much the wrestlers weigh. But you can't fault all the gaffes of tonight's commentary on Mr. Donovan, as Gorilla Monsoon starts the night wonderfully by calling him Art O'Donnell. My god, why can't we just have Jim Ross back already? 



Opening our qualifyers is Razor Ramon vs Bam Bam Bigelow.  Razor is Art's pick. I assume it's the one person he actually knows the name of.  Monsoon tries to start up a conversation with Art about how Bam Bam made it to the finals last year, but Art is wondering if Razor has to fight the man or the woman. No Art, Luna Vachon is not Bam Bam Bigelow. 

Razor flicks his toothpick at Luna, which Bam Bam takes offense and lays some cheap shots and a shoulder block followed by a second. A body slam, a headbutt and a big leg drop. All the excitement is too much for Art, he can't stand to watch it. Bam Bam goes up for the diving headbutt, but Razor dodges it. Both men reverse whips, but Razor regains momentum sending Bam Bam groin first into the pole, which really makes Art chuckle. Razor works the leg of Bam Bam as Luna screams in anger, Art is confused as to what the hell she's screaming at. 



Bam Bam misses an enziguri. Razor lands a few clotheslines, but Bam Bam regains leverage by throwing Razor off the top. Luna distracts the ref as Bam Bam gets some more cheap shots in. The crowd is pro-Razor as Bam Bam stomps him down. Cover gets a two. He lands an enziguri for two. Art is surprised that you're allowed to hit people with your feet in wrestling. 

Bam Bam gets some headbutts to the abdomen and locks in a backbreaker (Art: What's he gonna do, throw him out of the ring?).  Art is concerned as Razor is his pick. Again, I swear that's the only name he knows. Razor recovers in the arm drop spot (Art: Gorilla, is he dead?) and eventually gets a back suplex taking both men down (Art: Here I thought the poor guy was done, now they're both out. What happens now?) Razor lays in several rights and dodges a charge from Bam Bam. Razor tries a back suplex off the rope, but Bam Bam gets an elbow to the face. Bam Bam sets up the moonsault, but Razor tosses him off the buckle for the three.

Not a bad opener. Both Razor and Bam Bam put in some decent work for the short time they had. Definitely the best showing of Bam Bam we've seen in a while. What is it with the King of the Ring and Bigelow looking good? But in the end, Art's pick still lives on to the semifinals. 



We're backstage with Todd Pettengill interviewing Mabel and IRS, who are up next. Pettengill seems off his game and IRS stumbles his way through this promo. Maybe because he wasn't told to call Mabel a tax cheat, I don't know. Mabel tells IRS not to be concerned with Razor, but Pettengill then asks about Razor. Mabel claims that he's the real bad guy. 



Oh don't worry, IRS does get to call people tax cheats in case you were concerned. It's Mabel vs IRS in our next qualifyer. 

Art: Randy, is he one of the wrestlers?
Savage: One of the best
Art: He looks like... he looks like a businessman. 

Art also is very curious about Mabel's attire (Is this the way he's gonna wrestle, with his clothes on?). Dude, trust me. Oh trust me Art

The more clothes on Mabel the better.

We also get our first "How much does this guy weigh" from Art in reference to Mabel, even after both Monsoon and Savage mention his weight of over 500 pounds. I guess Mabel's fat enough to ask, but Bam Bam was svelte enough.  

Mabel rams IRS into the buckle several times and hits a big body slam. Art feels it's unfair that Irwin has to wrestle Mabel since he only weighs half the amount. Mabel lands a vertical suplex on Irwin. The crowd chant "Whoomp! There it is!" to Mabel (Gorilla: Whoops, there it is indeed!). Fireman's carry and a leg drop to IRS while Art confuses Oscar as the guy who's coming to take IRS to the hospital. Send out the search party, Art Donovan is officially lost in the forest. 

Art: Did you two guys enjoy doin' this?
Monsoon: Oh, absolutely.
Art: I can't imagine that. This is far worse than playing Football. At least we had pads on.



IRS gets a knee to the back of Mabel, sending him out of the ring. When Mabel gets back in, IRS lands some punches and his Write-Off clothesline. He lands some elbow drops and covers for two. Mabel gets a small package for a two count.  IRS locks in a chinlock as Art notices the grill in Mabel's mouth (Art: He must be a very wealthy fella!). Mabel sends Irwin into the corner, gets some strikes and a big back body drop. Clothesline and an elbow from Mabel followed by a really rotten looking uranage for two (Art: Gorilla, they're gonna go right through the ring one of these times). Mabel goes to the second buckle and goes for a splash, but Irwin shakes the rope, sending him falling. He grabs the ropes and covers Mabel for three.

Not a bad match really. Definitely the best effort of Mabel that we've seen so far, and Irwin held his own. Got a little slow in the middle, but the booking of the ending was logical. Mabel feeling cocky enough to try a second rope splash only for his hubris to come crashing down first. Could have been worse, but I felt it was fairly decent for a competitive quarterfinal match.



We cut backstage to Jim Cornette berating the cameraman as he says that tonight Mr. Fuji has both Crush and Yokozuna prepared for their tag team title match later tonight.



Up next, it's Tatanka vs Owen Hart in our next quarterfinal. We get our second "How much does this fella weigh" from Art, totally confused over the weight of Tatanka. Tatanka, like a face does, attacks Owen before the lights even come back up, getting some strikes and a big back body drop for two early. Suplex and a cover for two. Art is still confused over the weight of Tatanka. Owen reapplies the lock and follows with a shoulder block, but Tatanka gets a couple arm drags as retaliation (Art: I tell ya, these two guys could make great linebackers. You put some pads on em, they'd scare the hell out of the other team!). Owen throws Tatanka out of the ring, but Tatanka lands on his feet. He pulls Owen out and both men brawl to the outside. Owen whips Tatanka arm first into the buckle (Art: He hit the ring post! He knocked the hell outta the ring post!)



Backstage we see Razor and IRS going at it while Tony Chimmel and pink shirt Dave Hebner try to hold the two men back (Art: I tell you what boy, they're fightin' all over this place.). Back in the ring, Owen gets in some shots on the ropes and rakes the eyes of Tatanka over the top rope Owen lands a big dropkick off the top rope for a two count (Art: I can't believe the whole thing! They're killin' each other!). Owen locks in a chinlock while Monsoon is now at the point of just ignoring Art's idiotic comments (Art: Gorilla is Tapanka gettin' any air at all?) Tatanka breaks out, but gets locked into a sleeper by Owen. Tatanka eventually gets breaks out, but Owen tries to get his momentum back. How? Well, by doing what 

EVERY
SINGLE
PERSON
HAS
DONE
IN
A
FRIGGING
TATANKA
MATCH


He rams Tatanka head first into the turnbuckle, which wakes him up.  Owen does it again because he didn't learn his lesson. Tatanka does the war dance and hits his chops. Surprised Art didn't ask why he's doin the dancin and shufflin'. Tatanka drops Owen with a DDT for two. Tatanka goes to the top rope and lands his big tomahawk chop for two. He lands a big powerslam for two. Tatanka argues with the ref, then follows with some chops. Sunset flip by Tatanka is turned into a cover from Owen for three.

Despite my issues with ol' Tonk, this wasn't a bad match. I guess mainly because Owen is a good ring general to get a decent match out of him. Though in the end it boiled down to being every single Tatanka match you've ever seen. And the outcome is right again. Not just because Owen is much better, but we don't have to see the turnbuckle spot two more times tonight. Truly we are spared.

Art: Hey Randy, there's gonna be a lot of Native Americans mad.

*dead silence as Savage is full on ignoring Art at this point*



Todd Pettengill is with Shawn Michaels and Diesel. We recap the beat down on Bret on Raw a few weeks. Diesel has two words for the Hitman: "Jack Knife". Then proceeds to say more words than just two. Shawn promises Big Daddy Cool will be the new WWF Champ.



It's our last quarterfinal match. Jeff Jarrett is in action against the 1-2-3 Kid as Art mentions that these guys aren't as big as the other .Despite asking about the 1-2-3 Kid facing Jarrett, and the ring announcer saying the name 1-2-3 Kid, Art still asks who the hell he is. Send out the corpse sniffing dogs, I think Art may be dead in those woods. Also, like I said, Monsoon and Savage are done. They are literally done with Art. They barely respond to his questions at this point. And even when they do respond and talk about the kid being an underdog, he still gets confused who they're talking about. And we're only 40 plus minutes into a nearly three hour show. Yikes!

Art (on 1-2-3 Kid): He looks like a boxer!
Art (On Double J): That Double J's a cutie!

The kid goes for some kicks, but Jarrett gets right out of the ring. Hard whip to the buckle by Jarrett. The kid manages a roll up for two, but Jarrett gets in some stomps in the corner and an elbow off a whip. He follows with a clothesline, but his dropkick attempt is avoided. The kid gets another roll up for two. A nice suplex and a fist drop from Jarrett. The kid counters around with a spin kick for two. He goes to the top and goes for a flip, but Jarrett dodges. 

Jarrett misses a leg drop on the rope as the Kid ascends the rope. Jarrett catches him and sets up a superplex, only to miss. Jarrett works the leg with some elbow then goes for the figure four, only to get small packaged for three.  Post-match, Jarrett drops the Kid with a series of piledrivers. He goes up top for some falling fist drops, but they are horrible looking. After being too far twice, he goes closer, but still looks awful. Not a bad match, very quick with far less slow spots. And the right guy went over. I did like the end angle with Jarrett taking out the Kid, selling his underdog nature.




We get an ad for the New Generation. Lots of old footage of cars and planes matched with the more exciting ones of the 90's. But the biggest selling point being a shot of the old wrestlers followed by all the new talent. The most notable being Hulk Hogan. Yep, Vinny is all full of sour grapes now. So to say the New Generation became a factor because of the exodus of Hogan wouldn't be too shocking a claim to make, proving what I've said before. The world revolves around Hogan-Senpai. Also, isn't kind of disrespectful that the WWF, after celebrating Andre prior to his death are already calling him passe just a year later. Jeez, Vince. Also considering the two men in the main event were both around in the business when all of these men competed, this is hardly a new generation, now is it?


It's time for our WWF Championship match. That's right the WWF title match before the end of the first hour. I mean, the title match last year was in the middle of the card, but this feels like even more of an afterthought than usual. Hell, the tag titles is higher in the card, yikes. We get an interview with Pettengill and Bret (in his spooge spackle gear) as the replay of the Jacknife to Bret is delayed, furthering this whole show's feeling of just being off its game tonight. Bret also stumbles with "overestimate" and "underestimate". Simply, Bret says that Diesel may be seven feet tall, but he'll bring Diesel down to his size. Bret still is tight lipped about his backup, who will be with Bret when he gets to the ring.  Diesel and Shawn make their way to the ring.

Art: Who is that guy leading? 
Gorilla: That's Shawn Michaels.
Art: Is he another wrestler?

Bret makes his way to the ring. His backup?



It's Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart! Bret's former tag partner in the Hart Foundation and his brother in-law.  Art perks up when Savage brings up Anvil's former football past. Diesel takes Bret to the corner early on and it's a slugfest from both men until Diesel wins that exchange. He works a few boot chokes in the corner, but his attempt at a boot gets him groined on the ropes. Bret drops the headbutt to the lower area and gets a roll up for two. Diesel catches him with a body slam, but misses an elbow. 

Art: This is like David and Goliath!
Gorilla: Yes, David and Goliath, and we all know what happened in that story.
Art: Yeah, he hit him with a rock!

Diesel misses another knee in the corner, and Bret uses that to his advantage by wearing down the injured leg. Bret locks in a figure four to Diesel's dismay. Diesel gets the rope as Bret continues to kick and elbow the leg further. Diesel manages to kick Bret out of the ring, but Bret grabs the leg and rams it into the post twice. 



Michaels immediately hits Bret with a clothesline while the referee is distracted. This prompts Neidhart to give chase to the Heartbreak Kid. Eventually the ref puts a stop to it by catching Neidhart. Diesel grabs Bret, but he manages to escape and go for a clothesline, but gets awkwardly caught by Diesel. He applies the bearhug. Bret regains momentum by sending Diesel over the top rope. Bret goes for a plancha, but Diesel gets out of the way, causing  a pink and black spat on the mat. Diesel sends Bret back first into the post. He continues to work fists on the back and a hammer throw right into the buckle. 

Diesel lands a sidewalk slam, to the confusion of Gorilla and Savage who had no clue what it was called. He follows with a backbreaker and an elbow for two. Shawn gets a cheap punch to the face while the referee is distracted and a slap for good measure. Bret tries to fight out of the corner, but a thumb to the eye leads him to get a chest-first toss into the buckle. Cover gets a two. Bret goes for a school boy, but only gets two. Diesel hits a clothesline for two. Diesel puts in the chinlock, and follows with a punch to the face and another backbreaker. 


With the referee distracted again by Neidhart, loosens a top turnbuckle pad. Bret turns around the backbreaker into a sleeper. Diesel sends Bret back first into a turnbuckle and whips him, but Bret gets a boot and the sleeper momentarily. Diesel punches bret, which knocks down Earl Hebner. Shawn distracts Hebner while Diesel removes the pad. He goes to ram Bret, but he turns it around, sending Diesel head first into the exposed steel. Punch drunk, Diesel get some more rights from Bret. This is followed by some more punches in the corner. 

Bret hits a series of clotheslines, eventually able to knock down Diesel for a two count. He gets a russian leg sweep (or a Neckbreaker according to Monsoon) followed by the 2nd buckle elbow for two. A bulldog off the buckle from Bret who then sets up the Sharpshooter. Shawn is on one corner, while Neidhart's on the other. Bret punches Shawn off the apron and follows with a clothesline to Diesel for two. Bret attempts a backslide, flips over the buckle and turns it into a small package for two. 

Diesel catches Bret and goes for snake eyes, but Bret escapes, only to eat a boot to the face. Diesel taunts for too long, but  Bret locks in a sharpshooter. But Diesel is in the ropes, forcing a break. Bret dropkicks Diesel out of the ring. Diesel attacks Anvil outside, while Shawn Michaels nails Bret with the title belt from behind. Diesel drops the elbow, but only gets a two count. He lands the Jacknife while Shawn tries to attack Neidhart, but Neidhart nails Shawn...



And then nails Diesel for the helluvit, causing a disqualification. He attacks Diesel some more and leaves in a rage. In such a rage that he just leaves Bret to be double teamed by Shawn and Diesel. Both men lay fists and stomps to the Hitman until officials put a stop to the assault. 

Overall, this was a great match. Lots of back and forth, never felt too slow or too rushed. Bret as always put in a great job, while Diesel, for his first big singles match on pay per view was no slouch either. He held his own and put in just as much work. I particularly liked the backslide turned into the small package spot. Very innovative. The ending with Neidhart works into some stuff later in the night and makes sense. Doesn't help make Bret look too strong, but in terms of making the Shawn/Diesel team look like a threat, it gets the job done. 

Art: The referee's stealin' the belt! Where's he going with the belt?



Pettengill is backstage with Jerry Lawler. The last time I saw a mouth like Roddy Piper, there was a fish hook in it. Art Donovan's first job was parking covered wagons. Tonight, he'll knock Piper into oblivion, because Piper is the pits. All the little sick kids are depending on Piper, but he's the one that makes sure that nothing goes to the Canadian brats. Some solid heeling from Lawler.



It's Semifinals time with Razor Ramon in action against IRS. Art has completely forgotten what Razor looked like since his last appearance. And Irwin made sure to give us not one, but two "tax cheats" promos. Razor attacks Irwin on the outside early on. IRS reverses a whip and gets a knee to the gut of Razor. He follows with a ram in the buckle and lands an elbow. He drops a really ugly backbreaker. He goes for a Write-Off, but gets thrown right over the top rope. Razor smashes IRS face first into the steps and lays some rights until Irwin gets a cheap shot on the leg. 

He puts a chinlock to Razor while using the ropes the leverage, to the confusion of Art Donovan. Razor regains momentum with some more rights and an elbow to the sternum. Razor gets a hard whip to the buckle, then tosses him with the tie. Irwin gets a forearm to Razor (even Art knew that move!) He whips and ducks, but it gets turned into a Razor's Edge for three as Razor advances to the finals. Bland match really, some basic stuff from Irwin and mostly just punches from Razor. Again, right guy went over. I didn't need a third "tax cheats" promo tonight.


Bret is in a rage, checking every single room backstage for Jim Neidhart (Bret walking off camera and yelling "WHERE IS HE!?" is more hilarious than it should be.). 



It's Semifinal number two next as Owen Hart takes on the 1-2-3 Kid. Art doesn't understand how semifinals work and doesn't know if the finals are all that's left after that. We also get "How much does this guy weigh" number three as Art has no clue how much Owen weighs. Despite the attack from Jarrett, the kid still makes it to the ring, only to eat a baseball slide to the face and a suicide dive that mostly misses him. Owen drops a headbutt off the top rope for two. The Kid reverses a whip that hits Owen hard into the buckle. He then hits a moonsault off the top rope for a two count. Cradle from the kid for two as some fans are more pro-Owen. 



Kick to the face from the kid for a two count. Owen follows with a big enziguri for two. The kid gets another kick and a nothern lights suplex for three, but the foot of Owen was on the rope. Owen gets out of the ring, but the kid lands a flip over the ropes. He goes for a spin kick, but Owen turns it into a german suplex for two. Kid goes for a roll up, but Owen counters for two. Hurricanrana from the Kid is caught into a powerbomb. Owen locks in the sharpshooter for the win. 

I really enjoyed this one. Told a good story with injured kid and his underdog tendencies. It was fast paced and back and forth. Despite being short, it was very exciting. And once again, the right guy goes over. 



We catch up with Roddy Piper, who seems a little out of it. He almost forgets that he's in Baltimore. He has a king size Hershey's Bar to symbolize Jerry Lawler, or maybe he's hungry. He's brings up the "Hot Rod" from the King's Court a couple weeks back. He's particularly annoyed that they had to mention Hell Comes to Frogtown, which even he considers to be trash. It's a lot of rambling from Piper without much really coherence to it. As if maybe he had a couple cold ones before the event started.


Up next, it's the WWF tag team titles up for grabs. Yokozuna and Crush challenging The Headshrinkers. "How much does this guy weigh" number four for "Yokozamazuma" to quote Mr. Donovan. Art doesn't know how tag match works because he has no clue how many people are going to wrestle. Art asks if the Shrinkers are from the pacific islands, Savage responds with American Samoa. Something tells me Art Donovan has never even heard of American Samoa. 

Both teams brawl early on. Both Shrinkers get whipped to each other, so they brawl with each other before headbutting out both Crush and Yoko. Art has no clue how in the hell you c can even hurt Yokozuna (Art: He's got legs as big as most people's bodies!). Some stalling until we get Samu and Yoko to technically start. Art can't see because of Fuji's flag in the way. Samu gets a roundhouse and a dropkick. He clotheslines Yoko out of the ring. Gotta admit they're making the former champ look pretty foolish with how easy his is to knock down now. 


Fatu and Crush get in. Crush ges a facebuster, but Fatu no-sells and turns it into a piledriver. Fatu follows with a headbutt off the second rope for two. Fuji gets a cheap shot with the flag as Crush hits the big clothesline, complete with Fatu's flip sell. Piledriver from Crush just gets a one, while Art Donovan is still transfixed on Yokozuna's girth. Speaking of whom, Yoko is tagged and lands a big leg drop. Crush is back in with a nerve hold. Fatu tries to escape, but gets body slammed. Yoko is back in and hard whips Fatu into the spot. He goes for a splash, but misses. Jeez, does anyone get a corner spot in? 

Crush and Samu are in as Samut gets a powerslam and clotheslines Yokozuna. Both heels are double whipped. A double savat kick sends Yoko tumbling over the ropes. As Samu goes to the top rope, Yoko gets rammed to the post so hard, Samu gets knocked for a loop, giving Crush a superplex and a jumping leg drop. He knocks down Fatu as Yokozuna lands another leg drop. 


Lex Luger comes to ringside, to which I go "Oh right. Luger wasn't even booked on this show, was he?" Art asks "Who's the fella with the American Flag" seconds after Gorilla says Luger's name, because of course he would.  Crush gets distracted which gets him rolled up for two. Crush tosses Samu out of the ring as Fatu gets a savat kick for the three as Yoko flops into the ring to make a failed save. Crush and Luger brawl until the Shrinkers join in to take the Hawaiian out until Yoko makes the save. 

Not a bad tag title match. Lots of great offense from the Shrinkers and Crush had a good showing. Seeing Yokozuna flop in and out of the ring like a sumo shaped bean bag pillow feels kinda depressing, seeing that he's already on career freefall. Speaking of freefall, Luger not even having a match on the card after Wrestlemania is kind of telling. Hell, him being completely out of the title picture so fast feels insane. This guy was being touted as the man to lead the company to new heights and yet now it's Bret being dubbed the leader of the new generation. Damn man, what a difference only a couple months make. 


Todd Pettengill is backstage with Owen Hart. Owen calls Bret a loser tonight (technically true even if he retains) and that he will win the King of the RIng. He even gives a smug happy father's day wish to Ol' Stu Hart.


We are now into the final match of the King of the Ring tournament. It's Razor Ramon vs Owen Hart. Razor gets a hard right early on to the frustration of Owen. Both men get arm wringers until, but Owen gets a slap for his own good measure. Razor catches Owen into a body slam and an elbow for a two. Art asks if Razor outweighs Owen by about 30 pounds. Dead silence for like 5 seconds. They are so done with Art it's sadly hilarious.

Razor catches Owen and lands a slingshot to the corner, which he uses to cover for a two. Owen bridges Razor and tries a backslide, but Razor turns it around to his own for two. A headlock takedown. Art, like a heel, turns on his pick of Razor Ramon.  He's like Grampa Simpson, he just wants attention. Owen rakes the eyes of Razor on the rope then applies an abdominal stretch with a little help of the rope. Some kids are yelling that he's tugging the tights. Silly kids, yelling won't cure referee blindness.


After a bit more back and forth, Razor gets a big chokeslam onto Owen. covering for two. He follows with the big fallaway slam for two. Owen slides over a suplex and lands a side Russian leg sweep. Owen goes to the top, but Razor comes back, hitting the back suplex off the top. Razor sets up the Razor's Edge, but gets back dropped over the ropes.


With the referee distracted by Owen, Jim Neidhart shows up again. And in a case of Benedict Arnolding, he attacks Razor. That's right, on the same night he sided with Bret, he's suddenly now sided with Owen. He rams Razor into the post and tosses him back in. Owen drops a big elbow off the top turnbuckle for the three. Owen Hart becomes the 1994 King of the Ring.

For the finals of the tournament, it wasn't to the quality of Bret/Bam Bam last year, but it was still good for the small amount of time given. I liked the work early on, especially both men attempting backslide pins. Having Neidhart so quickly go from cheering on Bret to aligning with Owen is both brilliant and kind of hilarious. I mean, with really no provocation. In the end, Owen winning was the right call. The story since November has been Owen being dubbed "The Shadow". No matter the accomplishment, he was always behind big brother Bret. And when you factor in how his victory over Bret at Wrestlemania was immediately overshadowed with Bret winning the title at the end of the night, seeing Owen claim the crown months later is sort of cathartic in a way.


Post-match, both Owen and Neidhart attack Razor some more, even landing a Hart Attack. The New Foundation is back on track, baby! The crowd chants for Bret, but he's still looking around the arena for Neidhart. He's nowhere near a tv. Literally, we're backstage with Bret who is without comment over the actions of Owen. Conspiracy theorist Randy Savage pieces that Neidhart caused the intentional disqualification in the WWF title match to keep the gold on Bret, maybe saving it for Owen. Art asks a question, Monsoon literally just keeps talking to Savage. I kind of feel bad for Art at this point. It's not his fault he got dumped at a table out of his element. Maybe it was, I don't know, but still.

Pettengill and Jack Tunney are at throne to crown Owen as the King of the Ring. Owen tells the dumb people out there that he did what he said he would and he deserves the respect of a king. Tunney goes to present the crown and robe, but Owen's like "Screw you Tunney, you're not doing it. It'll be his family. It'll be Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart."


Owen's first proclaimation as King is from this day forward to be referred as "The King of Harts". Once again, there couldn't have been a better choice. The perfect climax to the rising heel turn of Owen Hart.


We end our pay per view with Jerry "The King" Lawler vs "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. So, you know, that whole video about the new Generation. Crapping on Hogan and Andre? Let's start this new generation of pay per view with two guys who were wrestling in the 70's! We recap the last few months with Lawler's barbs to Piper on the King's Court, and Piper's home videos.

Some decent heat for Jerry as he comes to the ring. He takes the mic and says that when Baltimorons should kiss Lawler's feet like Roddy Piper will do tonight. He riffs on the governor and craps on the sick kids again. Piepr gets a great pop as the bagpipers are playing on to lead Roddy to the ring. Piper even brought Flat Stanley with him. Piper cuts his classic "They Live" line and even lets the kid cut a few lines. It really is a half decent Piper impression.


Piper tosses his kilt and is on full on assault of Jerry Lawler, even hitting a clap to the ears of the king and a big right hand, sending Lawler into retreat. Roddy grabs him, puts him in a full nelson and let's Flat Stanley give a thumb to the eye in front of the ref. DQ THE MAN, DAMMIT! Art doesn't think that Piper really likes his guy, which I think Savage kind of snaps at him over. Lawler tries to duck Piper, but gets a stomp for his troubles. Lawler tries a stomp of his own, but gets caught as Roddy boots the back of Lawler's leg and atomic drops him out of the ring.

Lawler chases after the kid, but Piper grabs him and chops the crap out of him. Lawler tries to regain momentum, but Piper grabs his hand and rams it right into the post. Lawler goes after the kid again, but Piper  stops him. Lawler goes after him again, and even gets a shot in on the Hot Rod.  Piper tries to sheild the kid, as Lawler finally gains momentum with some stomps. He lays some jabs to a punch drunk Piper. With Piper down, Art thinks he may be in trouble. How astute.



 Lawler places Piper in the sleeper hold as some guy really wants to call him a piece of garbage. I'm guessing that may have been Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. Piper wakes up after the arm drop spot, but he's still punch drunk. Lawler sets up the pulling piledriver and after some stalling gives him a drop. More stalling from Lawler who finally covers for two. Piper still wants all of Lawler's offense, but Piper no sells it by getting right back up. An exchange of punchse from both men followed by two bulldogs from Piper. Piper tries a third, but gets shoved into the referee. Lawler pulls a foreign object out of his trunks and lays a cheap shot in. Lawler covers Piper with his feet on the ropes, which the kid eventually pulls off. Piper hits a distracted Lawler with a back suplex for the three.

Honestly, I kind of enjoyed this match. It had a more old school feeling to the faster style of other matches. Piper was entertaining, Lawler worked as a great heel, and even the kid did a great job in the match. While I do complain that I don't like this being the last match of the night, and much higher up than the WWF title, it served its purpose, lasted as long as needed, and was most importantly entertaining. Can't complain much else about it.



And with that, we close the book on King of the Ring 1994. While I can't give it the high praises of last year's event, I will say I enjoyed it more than I thought going in. The tournament, while not delivering as many classic matches or moments as the year prior still flowed well with logical booking throughout. And in the end, the right guy went over with Owen Hart claiming the crown. The tag title match was good, but as previously stated, man oh man have the stocks of Luger and Yokozuna both plummeted in just three months after Wrestlemania.  Bret vs Diesel was also a solid match that I hope to see again without the shenanigans of Jim Neidhart. And finally, Piper vs Lawler wasn't super amazing, but I still found my self enjoying it. 

What killed this show for me and makes it hard to fully call it a solid show is Art Donovan. It still confuses me as to why this happened. Did Art want to do this? He isn't a fan, so it makes no sense. Was it a Vince idea, or with him preoccupied with the upcoming trial, perhaps a Kevin Dunn decision? Who knows, but by the end, you kind of feel bad for the guy. He is so lost that it's hilariously sad. But to be fair he wasn't the only one botching a storm. Monsoon didn't know damn near half the names of the moves and started the night off on the wrong foot by calling him "Art O'Donnel". If anyone came off as the sane one of the group was Macho Man, but you could hear it in his voice that he was sick and tired of Art Donovan barging in after they bring something up only for him to ask them a stupid question. If ever I missed Jim Ross, this was the show.

The final Rating for this show is a B-. There are some good spots, some dry areas, and nothing really offensive in the ring. The Donovan stuff is worth listening to in a condensed version as while you get some hilarious stuff, a lot of it is just him mumbling and stumbling around. I'd say it's not a super amazing show in the end, but it's worth at least one watch.


So now we're getting hotter. The summer is upon us and soon will be Summerslam. Owen has now become king and is trying to catch up to Bret. Can the Hitman keep his cool, or will there be rage in a cage coming his way? We got two months of Raws before that, so I hope you're in for the ride.