It's January 31st, 1994. Mrs. Doubtfire claws back its #1 spot, and nobody can stop Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and the man called Sting as they're all for love on the Billboard list. In the world of the WWF however, we're entering the Fernwood Resort in Bushkill, Pennsylvania. And tonight, the biggest conundrum in the WWF is to be answered
By the flip of a coin.
Yes, President Jack Tunney's big decision regarding the Royal Rumble controversy is that both men will challenge for the championship at Wrestlemania. And to decide just who gets the honor of getting the first shot, it'll be decided tonight via the flip of a coin.
It's the 50th edition of Monday Night Raw. Yes, there have actually been over fifty of these reviews at this point. I'm as surprised as you are. Vince McMahon is joined at the table with Irwin R. Shyster, who is as usual, quick to berate the tax cheats of the WWF. In fact, that's pretty much the majority of his commentary tonight. Down with the tax cheats.
It's Marty Jannetty in action against Johnny Polo to open action. The 1-2-3 Kid was originally booked to take on Polo, but he is out with a leg injury. The kid joins the table as IRS berates him on being a tax cheat.
Johnny Polo grabs the mic and goes after the 1-2-3 Kid calling him a coward ducking out of this match. Since he already beat Marty Confetti last time, he calls Marty out of his league. Marty grabs the mix and just clotheslines him with the mic cord. He then wraps the cord around the legs of Polo as Polo hobbles around goofily. Polo gets a thumb to the eye, but still gets tripped by Marty, which eventually sends Polo tumbling out of the ring. There is a rather loud "Marty Sucks" chant from a couple people in the crowd.
Polo tries to walk out of the match, but Marty catches up with him up the aisleway and gives him a back body drop to the concrete below. Polo is thrown back in the ring. He begs off Jannetty, and tries to toss Marty out of htte ring, only for Marty to get a quick body press for two. Superkick from Marty only gets a two as Polo gets to the rope. Another kick by Polo sends Marty out of the ring as we go to break.
We return with a resthold by Johnny Polo to Marty Jannetty. Marty breaks out as a small Marty chant breaks. Polo sends Marty out again and works on him on the outside. He brings Marty back in the ring and drops an elbow off the second rope. After a premature celabratory taunt, he covers Marty for two. Another chinlock is applied as Vince shills Superstars with a Quebecers vs Steiners match. Marty gets in a few shoulder blocks, but both men collide, sending Polo to the outside. Polo rolls back in and covers for two. Marty gets a sunset flip for a two. A nonchalant cover by Polo gets rolled by Marty again for two.
Another resthold by Polo. He goes up top for an axe handle, but gets a boot to the face for his troubles. Marty gets in some strikes to Polo and a flying clothesline and a nice jumping elbow. Marty smashes Polo into every buckle, and unlike Tatanka, there's no no-selling from Polo. Marty tries to go for a superplex, but gets knocked down. But Marty manages to get Polo ball first into the ropes. Marty misses a shoulder block to the buckle. Polo lands a body slam, but misses a fist drop. He goes for a back body drop, which gets turned into a Rocker Dropper for three.
Overall, this wasn't as good as their last bout. Save for the comedy early on, it was a lot more sloppy and very slow in plenty of places. Shame we didn't get him and the Kid as I think this time around it may have been a lot more entertaining. But for what we got, it was fine, but nothing worth writing home about.
Post-match, the Kid accuses IRS of having Razor Ramon's gold in the briefcase. I guess Razor never thought to just take it back at the Rumble. This infuriates Irwin who gets in a cheap shot on the Kid. Marty fights back on Irwin as the Kid steals the briefcase. Marty challenges IRS to get in the ring as we go to break. However, Pat Patterson tells Irwin to go back to the table. He's still confused about the whereabouts of his briefcase. He blames Jannetty as he heads to the back.
However, the familiar music of Razor Ramon plays as he and Marty head out down the aisle, Razor with his gold back around his neck. Marty tosses the briefcase back to IRS as referees and officials try to keep the two separated. IRS returns to the table, angry over the contents of his briefcase stolen. They recap Jack Tunney's comments from the past weekend. The rules of hte coin toss are as follows. If Luger wins the coin toss, Bret will face Owen Hart first, and then get the title match later in the night. If Bret wins, Luger will face Crush first, then get a title match later. There will also be special referees for both title matches at Wrestlemania.
Bam Bam Bigelow is up next in action. His opponent is one Miguel Rosado. IRS makes an open challenge to Marty Jannetty next week on Raw. A hard shove by Bam Bam early on as the crowd wants Doink. More shoves as the crowd adgitates Bam Bam. Bigelow misses a thump in the corner as Rosado gets in strikes. But Bigelow is quick to get back momentum. Massive toss by Bigelow who also wants Doink. Multiple falling headbutts to Rosado while we get our weekly shot at the Clintons. Big back body drop by Bigelow. Rosado tries momentum, but gets another couple headbutts for three in a very quick squash.
Vince is in the ring with Tunney and the road agents for the coin toss. A loud "We Want Bret" chant from the crowd as Vince goes over the rules once more. Lex Luger is out first to a decent reaction, but definitely not as strong as before. Bret gets a much stronger reaction. Luger calls heads, and as luck would have it, Luger gets heads to a tepid reaction. Apparently this coin toss outcome was a complete shoot. Meaning that it could have very well went tails, and thus a Luger/Crush match would have occurred at Wrestlemania X.
Luger cuts a promo about how he isn't going to take Yokozuna lightly at Wrestlemania, AKA not letting him lose the title on a countout victory once again. He guarantees he'll be in the last match at Mania and wishes good luck to Bret. Bret says that he wishes to avoid his match with Owen, but he'll go to battle and get it over with. As far as the Lex is concerned, he considers Luger a worthy opponnent and wishes Luger luck.
Up next, it's Kwang in action. We last saw Kwang in the ring at the Royal Rumble. Flanked by Harvey Whippelman, he's in action against Rich Meyers. Some chops by Kwang start off. He gets in a spinning kick on Meyers early on. Owen Hart is on via phone, as he says he's the real winner. He gets a match against Bret and that he gets the chance to prove that he's the best of the Harts. Back body drop by Kwang in-ring, who appears to have a cut above his pec. His essential move set is strike, taunt, strike, taunt. Big clothesline and a hiptoss out of the corner. He feigns a cover and continues to hit strikes. Meyers misses a cross body as Kwang lands a big kick for the three. Bland, bland squash by the Puerto Rican Japanese Man.
It's Todd Pettengill with the Wrestlemania X report. He shills his jacket and brings up that the tickets have already sold out for the Garden. He also brings us info we already know about the title match, making this segment pretty pointless. But Todd promises some big news coming up in the next weeks involving Wrestlemania.
On Superstars last week, Paul Bearer paid tribute to the Undertaker, who is still MIA since the Royal Rumble. Paul Bearer promises that he will indeed return.
In our last match of the night, it's Cory Student taking on the returning Earthquake. We last saw the Quaker at the 1993 Royal Rumble. Where's he been since then? He would appear in the Japanese promotion WAR as well as the CMLL. But he's back once again in the WWF.
Student tries in some strikes, but is quickly turned into a belly to belly by Earthquake. He follows with a series of backbreakers.A big Canadian Backbreaker is locked in for a few seconds as Earthquake lands a big clothesline. The USA network shill of the week is Dangerous Heart with Lauren Holly and Tim Daly. Even IRS would watch it, I assume because neither Daly or Holly are tax cheats? Big avalanche in the corner from Earthquake, who then drops a big leg to Student. He yells that a lot of people are in trouble now that Quake's back. Powerslam and the big aftershock finishes off Student for the three. Long squash, but a good enough return for the Quaker.
Marty and Razor are backstage. Marty says that for every man abused by the IRS, they'll get satisfaction next Monday. We end Raw as an Irwin chant breaks out. Next week we have Sparky Plugg in action, Owen Hart in action, as well as the Smoking Gunns. The main event is Marty Jannetty vs IRS. IRS finally sees the replay and finally learns that it was the Kid that stole his briefcase.
This was definitely a better edition of Raw than last week, mainly due in part to a lot of build toward the title matches at Wrestlemania. I enjoyed the coin toss and that they didn't try to slowly turn either one out of nowhere. In terms of the in-ring, nothing was all that amazing. It's great to see Earthquake back, but the squash was ho-hum, Bam Bam is stagnating, and Kwang was really bland. Even Marty vs Johnny Polo was an inferior match compared to their last outing. I'd say this Raw was at least worth a watch for the stuff with IRS as well as the title stuff, but other than that, it was average. I give it a B.