If you know me well enough by now, then you know that I love bad movie reviews. Particularly reviews that focus more on the actual bad movie, and you know, not just claiming you're making a movie review and just doing a bunch of god awful skits (Oh hi Doug Walker). I also enjoy the occasional podcast. And while I don't listen to too many, I have found several that I do listen to on a weekly basis. And the one I always make time for is a little podcast called We Hate Movies.
Based out of New York, We Hate Movies is a podcast where bad movies are discussed in comedic fashion. The podcast is hosted by Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sajdak, Eric Szyska, and Chris Cabin, all of whom were part of a comedy troupe by the name of Private Cabin. They all are also a collective of writers, comedians, and have their ties to the entertainment industry in one way or another.
The format of We Hate Movies goes as follows: Usually three members of the "gang" will review a bad movie every week, going through the plot, and pointing out the worst parts of said bad movie. However, they have set rules on what movies they will not review easy targets like The Room or Batman and Robin, mainly because both movies have been covered by too many people as it is. Their biggest rule is that they follow a ten year rule, which means if a movie was released ten years from the year they're on, they won't review it. Save for rare occasions, like their reviews of the year's worst in January or if it's requested via their regular rotations of listener request month.
Wilford Brimley being a badass Gawd Dahmut.
The podcast started in late 2010 with their first review of the 1989 "biopic" (for lack of a better term) Wired. A movie that instead of celebrating the life of John Belushi, chose instead to try to and accentuate just how much of a no-good drug addict Belushi was, and how he wasted his life. It was a movie that almost got Michael Chiklis barred from Hollywood, and enraged many of John's friends and family, because you know, the last thing they want is to see a scene where John's corpse is screaming as a doctor is about to cut him up samurai style. As for the review, it's not very good. In fact, the quality of the review is so bad that the gang have left it to the ether of the internet and chose to simply redo it in a better review a year later.
As for other movies they've covered, you have many of the obvious choices like Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Catwoman, The Karate Kid Part III, The Next Karate Kid, Just a lot of movies with kids and or karate, you know? Other movies that most people like but still got riffed for their quality include Ghostbusters II, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mortal Kombat, and Batman Forever. But usually their best are the ones that you probably wouldn't have thought about, or barely knew existed. Stuff like Hider in the House, where Gary Busey is a murder hiding in a family's house. It's just as crazy as it sounds.
Gary Busey in "Hider in the House"
What makes the podcast work is the fact that even though the title says "We Hate Movies", the podcast isn't just two hours of complaining or baseless anger. It's funny discussion and entertaining dissecting. And a lot of what makes the reviews fun is the show's many crazy concepts they come up with throughout reviews. For example, what if Louie Anderson was the only star left and was in every movie and show? Or a discussion on the upsides of a Mortal Kombat themed restaurant complete with Christopher Lambert as Raiden. Most of the time they don't even "hate" the movies they review that much, and sometimes even recommend you check them out. Though if they all dislike a movie they do regularly suggest better movies in that genre.
Movie reviews aren't even all they've done either. Over the last year and a half, they've started a monthly side-cast called "Animation Damnation". And yes, it's podcasting about bad episodes of cartoons, mainly those from their childhoods. And yes, as the creator of Tooncrap, I would seek restitution, but they're just so damn entertaining. Particularly the somewhat cringe worthy review of Pokemon, which is fun to listen to just to see how out of their element they are.
WHM Regular Jim Belushi in "Taking Care of Business"
Along with that there's "WHM On-Screen" which is more discussion based on stuff like Breaking Bad, Mad Man, and the Razzie Awards, as well as the monthly mailbag. They've even had interviews with Joel Hodgson, Mike Nelson, and even good old Gilbert Gottfried. The other, more short-lived side-cast was "A Side Order of Sleaze" which was on more raunchy films, but that hasn't been updated in a long time.
So now that I've given a lot of love to WHM through this review, it's time to list my top ten favorite WHM episodes. With over 200 reviews up, it's hard to narrow down just ten great ones, but my personal picks are as follows.
#10. Halloween III: Season of the Witch: The classic non-Michael Myers Halloween film. The discussion is great, but their description of the fictional bar Muldoon's is a must-listen.
#9. One Magic Christmas: Poverty, Death, and a Necromancing Santa Claus. Mary Steenbergen's got a hard life.
#8. The Adventures of Ford Fairlane: Andrew "Dice" Clay is a rock and roll detective with a pet koala that gets hung.
#7. Blame it on Rio: Creepy Michael Caine has a sexual fling with his best friend's teenage daughter. Just gross.
#6. Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe: Jesse Ventura is a Space Terminator, and by the end you'll be questioning everyone you know if they're probably Secundus.
#5. The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking: Awful adolescent girl arrives, shuns education, abuses her horse and is just the worst.
#4. Hider in the House: Gary Busey is a big toothed murder taking residence in the attic of a family's house.
#3, Silver Bullet: Gary Busey is a crazy uncle seemingly intent on killing his nephew, a wheelchair bound Corey Haim. Also there's werewolves or something.
#2 North: Rogert Ebert hated. The gang hates it. I'm pretty sure Bruce Willis hated it more than all of them. Racism, and the worst kids/parents/everything ever.
#1. Invisible Child: Rita Wilson mothers over a child that doesn't exist, as we see just how insane her whole family is. Also midnight pizza cooking.
And those are just some of my personal faves. I didn't even bring up any with Wilford Brimley or Jim Belushi, which are all classics.
So, do I recommend We Hate Movies? Yes. If you enjoy reviews of bad movies, and just want to kill an hour or so with some great humor, then this is the place for you. And with over 200 reviews and many more to come, there's definitely something for everyone. Give them a listen, and enjoy.