You know what I like to see in the opening of a wrestling show? Well of all the ways, the one I least want to see is a seemingly naked Bastion Booger feasting on raw food, while slathering himself in various sauces and eggs. Heenan asks how eating before his match with Razor is going to help, but Booger replies that he intends to eat Razor Ramon too. Booger ends this promo by cracking an egg over his head and proclaiming that "It's Raw!" I see this, and while I'm disgusted, I ask myself "Is this worse than Friar Ferguson?"
It's the last of the Poughkeepsie tapings as we're welcomed to Raw by Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan. Still no Macho Man due to the Crush attack, but they plan to talk to Randy via telephone. It's been two weeks, but I can't buy that anyone with a lacerated tongue is going to be very chatty.
Opening Raw is a non-title match between Razor Ramon and Bastion Booger. Bastion Booger now has theme music, if you want to call that music. It's mainly him calling himself the booger man, and what appears to be loud retching noises. Still more effort in that than in Diesel's theme. Razor throws the toothpick and we start with a lockup. Some general slow going offense wise as we go to break.
When we return, it's Bastion Booger landing a splash on Razor for a two count. Bastion does a dance and gets clotheslined over the rope. This is followed with an elbow that tangles Bastion Booger in the ropes. Razor give a rub of the belly as the big man gets unties. Booger adjusts his silver S&M gear and grabs Razor, raming him into the apron. He follows with a splash into the post and hard rams back first into the apron. Today is Bobby Heenan's birthday, and even Bastion Booger's invited. What a swell guy.
Bearhug applied by Booger for a little while, though Razor doesn't seem to sell it all that well for a guy who took offense on his lower back. He tries a scoop slam, but Booger stops his momentum. Booger gets a a slam of his own. He reapplies the bearhug, which looks a bit more like a hug to the ass than a really dangerous lock. Heenan's invited Chevy Chase to his party, since he has nothing else to do. A nice dig at the recently cancelled Chevy Chase show. A talk show so bad it barely lasted a month. Bastion goes for a corner splash, but Razor gets knees to the face and a body slam. He tries a Razor's Edge, which is just lunacy. He gets back dropped as Booger drops on Razor, yet Razor rolls him over for the three. Not an amazing match, but I still enjoyed it for what it was.
It's Todd Pettingill this week with the Survivor Series report. I'm unsure if this change means the firing of Joe Fowler or not, but if so, it's a shame as Fowler was okay enough at doing the report. He shills the upcoming boxing match between Riddick Bowe and Evander Holyfield. Coming from someone more used to the more "self important" WWE, It feels weird to see the company promoting another sporting event.
The card remains about the same, however Todd brings up the destruction of Tatanka on Superstars the prior Saturday. I could watch Ludvig pinning Tatanka with one finger all day. Due to this, Tatanka may be injured. He brings it back to Vince as he's in the ring with the stable known as The Foreign Fanatics.
Cornette brings up that Tatanka (or Tatonto as he so punfully coins him) vanished faster than David Copperfield. He will never return to a wrestling ring, and will definitely never appear at Survivor Series. It's now four against three, meaning that Luger and the Steiners are screwed at this point. Johnny Polo says the All American team is stupidity incarnate. We learn that Ludvig Borga will face Scott Steiner next week.
Borga calls the Americans illiterate. What he did to Tatanka was a pleasure (your damn right it was), and what he does to Scott Steiner will be more than a pleasure. Cornette says they are fanatics. The greatest group of talent from around the world. He brings up the Agatha Christie book "Ten Little Indians" (Thankfully he didn't refer it by its original name), and at the end of the book it says "and then there were none", and at the Survivor Series, and that line will tag the end of the All Americans.
I really enjoyed that promo. Great stuff by Cornette as always, as with Borga and Polo. It actually did a better job in getting me hyped for this big elimination match at Survivor Series, and even for this Scott Steiner vs Ludvig Borga match next week on Raw.
Mr. Perfect is in action next against The Executioner. Some back and forth wristlocks until Perfect lands an elbow to the face. Hard chops by Perfect until he gets countered into a hiptoss by Executioner. He tries a splash in the corner, but misses, allowing Perfect to get some kicks in. He follows with a slingshot out of hte corner and an indian death lock. Heenan continues to hype up his birthday party. Perfect continues his work on the leg. While the leg moves are interesting, considering his finisher is a suplex, these locks feels like filler. Eventually he does his toss and neck snap, followed by the Perfect Plex for the three. Kind of a dull match in all honesty. And that's kind of sad to say considering it's Mr. Perfect.
It's time for this week's Jeff Jarrett vignette. He's in front of Tootsie's Orchid Lounge. He brings up the corruption of the industry. He rips on Billy Ray Cyrus. He can't sing, he can't dance, but Double J can. What I especially love about these vignettes is how much Jarrett brings up how great a musician he is, but we've never heard him sing a single note.
Up next is the Smoking Gunns against Well Dunn. Timothy Well (who kind of looks like a low budget Scott Steiner) and Steven Dunn. Their singlets have lips on them, and they wear thongs over their gear. Something tells me Billy Gunn ripped them off year's later. Both men come out to one of the first jobber entrances for a regular tag team I've seen on Raw at this point. Harvey Whippleman is their manager, and since Adam Bomb is still due for action later on, he's a busy man tonight. Well and Billy Gunn start off. Billy leapfrogs and lands a punch as Well hugs the crotch of Dunn to make the tag.
Some headlock take downs and counters followed by some arm locks and hair pulls. Some whips to the corners and an atomic drop by Billy. Armbar take down followed by a tag to Bart who gets a diving elbow onto the arm of Dunn. Quick tag back to Billy as they go for a weird looking suplex/cross body move, but it seems like Billy wickedly undershot Dunn and hit Dunn. Tag back to Bart who continues work on the arm. Bart leapfrogs Dunn and gets a dropkick. He's whipped to the buckle, tries another leapfrog but gets dropped neck first into the rope by Well.
Dunn gets a clothesline and covers for two. This is followed by blatant double teaming by the heels. Well is now in and applies a headlock.He tags back in Dunn and both men hit a double elbow for a two. Another headlock and a tag as Well gets a boot to the face of Bart. Well rips at the face and puts another headlock in. More heel double teaming and Dunn gets in and locks back in a headlock. Bart breaks out and goes for a roll up for a two. Dunn gets choke holds in. He tries a back drop, but gets a facebuster as Bart finally tags in Billy for a lukewarm tag. Big back body drop to Well and an elbow. Billy takes Well out and hits a clothesline. He tries a clothesline, but Harvey trips Billy causing a disqualification. The Gunns still manages to beat Well Dun down anyway, making the DQ even more pointless.
This match sucked. The Gunns haven't really been impressive for a while, and Well Dunn are a really dull tag team. Too much focus on headlocks and way too little interesting offense for a match this long. And the match ending in a DQ makes no sense if they were still going to be made to look like goofs by the end. Maybe they could have gotten more out of the Gunns if it were the Heavenly Bodies, or the Headshrinkers, but Well Dunn is Well Dull.
Randy Savage is quickly interviewed via telephone. Heenan mocks his tongue injury, and Savage even sounds like a man with a bad tongue. He makes it quick and to the point that he'll be back next week, and he's going to get his hands on Crush.
It's main event time as it's Adam Bomb taking on Virgil. Nothing new to the gimmick this week. In fact it looks like Adam forgot his Kool-Aid packet as he's not dribbling red goo tonight. Heenan hints at plugging his birthday party next week, and honestly I really want to see this party. Both men run around and criss cross. Virgil leapfrogs and slides under Adam Bomb before getting a cross body for almost a two.
Harvey and Adam Bomb rethink their strategies on the outside. However Virgil gets in a sneak attack from behind, and smacks Adam Bomb face first into the apron. He then decides to chase Harvey around the ring and changes it around into a dive over the ropes on Adam Bomb. Gotta give Virgil some credit for changing things around. Adam Bomb gets an elbow and rams Virgil into the buckle. Big rib breaker by Adam Bomb and a nice dropkick. Some boots in the corner and a big hip toss followed by a hard clothesline to Virgil. Adam Bomb goes for a whip, but Virgil gets a kick in the corner and tries a clothesline. He goes up top and hits a rather sloppy dropkick for a two. Virgil tries a cross body, but just bounces off Adam Bomb. Adam lands the Atom Smasher for the three in what was an okay at best match. I'll give Virgil credit for at least trying.
Next week on Raw will see Scott Steiner vs Ludvig Borga, Crush will be in action, as will the returning Macho Man. And we end the show as Heenan tries to sing happy birthday to himself.
Not a particularly good Raw honestly. Thought Razor vs Bastion Booger was fine, as was Adam Bomb and Virgil. But the Mr. Perfect match and the tag match were kind of dull. The saving points of this show were the interview with the Foreign Fanatics and Bobby Heenan in general. Heenan's been generally more ruthless lately. It'll make it all the more sad when... well, you'll find out soon enough. THis wasn't the worst Raw ever, but for the last of the three Poughkeepsie shows, it's kind of a flat episode altogether. A C+ rating seems fair.