Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps HorrorLand #17: The Wizard of Ooze


We're now at the final three books in the HorrorLand series. And after taking a long trip around Weirdo Halloween, it'll be interesting to see what oozes our way next. The next book up for grabs is a comic book themed one, which are always... just... the best. Can this one change my demeanor? Let's click our heels and enter The Wizard of Ooze.

COVER STORY


I've often said that Brandon Dorman's work is very underrated. That his work is often looked down upon because he's not Tim Jacobus. That Jacobus' art is on such a high pedestal that it's hard for anything to compare. This cover, like many others, proves that Brandon is just as good at making amazing stuff. I like the design of our titular Wizard of Ooze. His black, oil-like body that splashes around like it looks like living slime, his torn clothing, depicting an almost Hulk-like transformation. The menacing face he gives, and the electricity coming off his staff. Just a beautiful piece of work for what is essentially just a profile of a character. Definitely among the top covers for HorrorLand.

STORY

PART ONE



Protagonist this time around is Marco Gonzalez. As is customary with these books, he's visiting HorrorLand with his friend Gabriella Grant. While Gabriella's more into horror stuff, Marco prefers comic books. Characters like Coyote Boy X, Doctor Shark Tooth, and most importantly, The Ooze. A supervillain that is made up of oily, oozy sludge. Something I've noticed with these comic book themed Goosebumps books is that the protagonist is a fan of a supervillain. Be it The Masked Mutant or Dr. Maniac, or in this case The Oooze. I get it to an extent, since the horror story needs a villain, and having the protagonist like the villain more works better, it's just one of the really noticeable Jovial Bob tropes. The Ooze also has a catchphrase "Know what I mean?". I swear if the identity of The Ooze isn't Ernest P. Worrell, then Stine has failed another of life's little tests.

Marco's there with his family, all but his little brother Zeke who has a cold. I know this book was released in 2010, but if it were released in 2020, let's just say I HOPE it's a cold. Zeke's always bratty and angry at everything, which, of course, means that Marco's parents think is cute. Oh god, not one of these books, please. The kids go through the carnival games to win a prize for Zeke and find one Horror with a game where you throw eyeballs at skulls. If one gets in a socket, you win a prize. Gabriella fails, but Marco lands one in. Suddenly the skulls start to move on their own. Oh no, they've awakened the dead! 


Of course not, since it's all just a game to screw with them. The Horror gives Marco a strange piece of gray fur and the kids leave, only to run into a man with a mustache and a hat with the words "Play to Win" on it. His name is the clever for Stine "Winner Taikall." He tells the two that he knows where they can really score some prizes. Stranger Danger on 3. He leads them into a dark room. Stranger Danger on 4. He then tells the kids that they'll be playing Mystery Tug of War. STRANGER DANGER ON 27!

So yeah, the kids are to hold a rope and play tug of war with whatever is on the other side of the rope. They struggle, but soon notice that the players on the other side are invisible. Worse than that, the rope turns into a snake that bites Marco. It's not poisonous, but the kids are annoyed that they lost. But Winner says that they still get a prize. A 10% off coupon for Chiller House. The kids leave, freaked out as you'd expect, and head to Chiller House. They notice that Winner's place has vanished behind them. When they ask a Horror, it tells them that there's no Winner Taikall at HorrorLand. 

They head to Chiller House, where we see objects like "Flesh Eating Bar of Soap" and an extra nose you can stick on your face. Jonathan Chiller greets them, we get the description that he looks like Ben Franklin again, and offers Marco an item. Marco at first is looking to get Zeke something, but then notices a graphic novel featuring The Ooze on the front cover called "The Title of This Book". Marco is excited as hell, despite Gabriella telling him that he must have read every comic book featuring The Ooze. Marco says that he knows for sure he hasn't read this one and decides to take it, along with the extra nose for Zeke. Chiller gives it to him, and you know the rest. No payment now, when he comes back, and take a little horror with you. 

PART TWO


Marco and Gabriella ride home from HorrorLand, reading the comic. Gabriella is still confused as to what Marco sees in The Ooze, since he's just a sentient hunk of slime, but Marco just does. He mentions that there's a section in the book to 'find the superhero inside of you', to which Gabriella just says that that section is just filler to fill pages to make the book feel longer than it already is. Okay, now Stine has no excuse for Wanted: The Haunted Mask. But the kids become more transfixed by a bookmark in the book, with writing they can't currently read. 

Marco and his family return home and Marco gives the extra nose to Zeke, while still dreaming of the Ooze. He eventually gets to the inner superhero page that tells him that when he finds what is his super power, he'll know it. One such power could be flight, to which Zeke needs two feathers to aid him. So he decides to sneak over to his neighbor Mr. Clare's yard to steal feathers from his pigeons. He does so without being caught. He also has to pour yeast on his head, because... Marco then prepares his ritual, and thankfully unlike Mick Foley he isn't going to jump off a roof to try this. Instead he stands on his chair and jumps. He seems to float to the ceiling before crashing spectacularly on the floor, bloodying his nose. 


Zeke informs their parents and they're pretty pissed that Marco pretended to be a superhero. Apparently this is a regular occurrence as he tries to pretend to be a superhero a lot. They leave and Marco is satisfied with his ten second flight, but realizes that might not be the true power of his. So next is super strength. Strategy this time requires covering one's body in a plastic wrap cocoon and breaking free. He does so, and this time he feels his body getting stronger to the point it actually breaks the wrapping. But again, it only lasts a few seconds before he returns to normal. This leaves him with torn clothes, so he changes to his pajamas, only to be snitched on again by Zeke.

It's getting so that Marco begins to doubt if he has powers. He presses on, about to do a water themed power test, but gets a call from Gabriella about the comic convention that day. Marco heads off to meet Gabriella, not before being annoyed once again by Zeke. At the convention, Marco and Gabriella find the booth for The Ooze. And it turns out The Ooze is a major character in this world with his own movies, DVDs, video games, you name it. The pair look at the collection of Ooze books, but still can't find a copy of The Wizard of Ooze. Suddenly a man at the booth named Sammy tells Marcoto come with him. He begins to pressure Marco about The Wizard of Ooze comic and offers hundreds of dollars for it. Marco is apprehensive, and tells Sammy no. Suddenly someone in a really convincing Ooze costume also pressures Marco. Marco is given a white card to fill out for a mailing list. Before Marco can tell Gabriella about the whole affair, The Ooze man threatens him again, saying he has his ways of finding him.



The kids take the bus home, Marco discussing the incident, when they notice that sure enough, The Ooze is also on the bus. This spooks the kids, who decide to see for sure when they leave. They exit, but The Ooze doesn't come off with them. They breathe a sigh of relief and head home. Marco heads to his room to find the book, but it's gone! No, wait, Zeke is reading it. He has a fight with Zeke, with Marco being the only one grounded. After doing chores, he reads the book again, this time trying the water power next. This requires sitting in a bathtub full of ice. He does so and begins to feel his body turn to liquid, but again just briefly. After surviving near hypothermia, Marco tries to go back to the convention to find Sammy, hoping for some answers as to finding his true power. Unfortunately for him, he's grounded and has to watch Zeke for the night. Of course this means that when the parents leave, Marco takes Zeke with them as they return to the comic convention.

They make it just as the convention is coming to a close, but no sign of Sammy. But Marco does end up running into The Ooze again, who threatens Marco to give him the comic. He drips hot oil on Marco, to which Marco now believes that this is no costume, he might actually be The Ooze. Marco relents and goes for the comic, only to realize Zeke has it, and that Zeke is now missing. The Ooze believes Marco is lying and decides that he has to ooze him. It's something he does on nearly every page of his comic, which I gotta tell ya, that makes this comic book feel really redundant. The Ooze turns into a bubbling mass and covers Marco in Oil. He then tries to crush Marco under an Ooze wave, before kids show up wanting his autograph. This gives Marco the chance to make a run for it, before running into Zeke once again. 


Worried that The Ooze is still following, Marco drags Zeke as they run from the convention, only to run into a man that is literally on fire, but not in any pain. They have no idea what's going on, but I'm gonna guess that this character will be replaced by a robot on the Saturday morning cartoon version of this book if that existed. The fire man grabs the comic book and vanishes. Marco is relieved since that means he no longer has the book, so maybe that means no more Ooze. But we still have 48 pages alone for just this story. Marco begins to wonder however why the book is so important. Maybe it has to do with the superhero tips. Marco is awakened by his room being super hot. Sure enough it's The Ooze again, who threatens Marco to give him the book. When Marco tells him that the book was stolen, The Ooze says he'll regret that. 

Marco wakes his parents up and The Ooze vanishes. When his parents notice that his room has been burned up, they're obviously pissed, but instead of saying a monster made of hot oil did it, he says that it's all just one craaaaaaaazy science experiment. His parents leave, and almost immediately, the man on fire shows up, screaming at Marco to give him "it" and threatening to burn everything (given that the room is already covered in The Ooze's oil). Marco instead grabs a fire extinguisher and opens fire, only for nothing to happen... for a couple seconds and then it opens fire, repelling the fire man, and causing him to leave Marco's room. 


The next day, Marco talks to Gabriella about the incident, but she hardly believes him. He goes to meet her at the Dairy Freeze, (a locale mentioned in Say Cheese and Die! for all you continuity nuts), but no sign of her. But we do end up getting The Ooze once more who threatens Marco again. This time he blows his nose, sending hot oil snot on Marco. He sets Marco up for the Oozing again, but Marco counters by saying that he has water powers that can negate the heat of The Ooze. Sure enough, he turns to water, but only for ten seconds, so it does nothing. The Ooze then suddenly decides to give Marco a second chance due to some comic book rule. He also reveals the fire man, The Fabulous Flame, was Sammy. Sammy works for The Ooze, but doesn't get any of the glory. So clearly he must have stolen the comic. Only Marco can defeat him with his water powers. Marco is reluctant, but doesn't really have a say in the matter.

Marco and The Ooze arrive at Sammy's place. Marco confronts Sammy, then goes for his tidal wave move, only for it to not work as Sammy just simply dodged it. But there just so happens to be an arrant garden hose, so Marco just uses that instead. Okay then. The Ooze grabs the comic, and celebrates the only way he knows how, by turning on Marco and preparing to Ooze him. Turns out the comic code was all a trick to get the comic. Suddenly, Gabriella shows up, saying that she read the back of the comic during the trip and she discovered her superpower. She's The Human Tornado, which can be my second wrestling reference for this book. Huzzah! She uses her power... but that only lasts ten seconds too. The Ooze prepares to Ooze both kids this time, now joined by The Fabulous Flame, who still wants something from Marco.

TWIST ENDING


Suddenly Zeke shows up, holding the bookmark that was mentioned earlier in the book. Then he starts dancing, using his hands to telekinetically lift the two villains up and sends them flying off a la Team Rocket. Zeke reveals that this is his superpower, and that he is now Lift-Off. Marco is now jealous, unhappy that Zeke gets the powers and not him. That night he tries to steal the bookmark, but gets lifted into the air by Zeke. Their parents show up, and Marco tries again to say that this was all just a science experiment.

EPILOGUE

Marco returns to his room, with his Wizard of Ooze book, when suddenly the room begins to glow, and once more he's transported to HorrorLand. Back to Chiller House. You get the idea. One more book before the finale so get ready to go through this AGAIN.

CONCLUSION

The Wizard of Ooze is just okay. It's better than other comic-themed books in that its protagonist isn't that annoying, and the plot flows well enough, giving us just enough of The Ooze and The Fabulous Flame to make them feel like threats. It just lacks something, an oomph that keeps it from showing its true potential. Any chances of that are just like Marco's powers, super brief. If I can praise the book for anything it's that it didn't annoy me that much. I was worried when Zeke was first introduced that I would hate this book, but Zeke is hardly that bad. Marco is a bland protagonist though, and I wish Gabriella had more to do other than what she got in the final chapters. The Ooze is definitely the most interesting comic villain we've had so far, in that he does feel like a real danger with his burning oil body. Fabulous Flame is just The Human Torch though. Other than being a villain, it's the same character concept. Certainly not as fun a secondary villain like Purple Rage was. So, in the end, I'd say this was fine, it was a quick read, but just not one that feels like it'll stick with you. It'll just slide down, like oil. The Wizard of Ooze gets a C. 

*sigh* Up next is a Slappy book. Oh goody. 

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