I didn't grow up reading Goosebumps. I stated in the past that a lot of the covers scared me when I was younger. But that didn't mean I wasn't at the very least intrigued by some of the premises that the books offered. So, flash forward to when I finally got a chance to cover the original series. Many, admittedly became books I was pleasantly surprised with and became actual favorites (Phantom of the Auditorium, I Live In Your Basement, Shocker on Shock Street, etc...). Then there were the books like the Monster Blood sequels that were considered terrible via word of mouth that lived up to the claims. But I want to focus this Case of the Bumps on another side of the argument, the books that seemed like they had every chance to be amazing, but ultimately disappointed me beyond no end. And I'm going to cover five of them. No real particular order save for the last one which was the most disappointing. So without further ado...
#1. The Blob That Ate Everyone
The premise to The Blob That Ate Everyone should have given me a book that I would have loved. If anything, the concept of someone's imagination creating anything they write via typewriter should have worked so well. Hell, considering Stine's history, I'd have thought he would have really put in the effort to create something that feels like a love letter to little Jovial Bob. But what I got was a really bland book. We get a good opening with Zackie getting the typewriter, but after that we spend so much time with him writing the events of what happens at home during the storm that it eats up a lot of book that could be devoted to the titular blob. And when we do get to the blob at the end, it's so rushed and underwhelming. The twist was fun though. The cover is cool, but it's just a shame that the story itself never gets out of the starting gate.
#2. Don't Go To Sleep!
Don't Go To Sleep! is a mess of a book. It's concept is admittedly cool with Matt having to deal with the very fabric of reality shifting as he sleeps in the guest bedroom. But it just feels like a major stream of consciousness-style writing from Stine. Things happen because they happen and often don't feel like they have the emphasis they should. They have a neat concept with the dream police, but not much really comes of them. At least in the episode they bring Matt to the dream judge who sentences him, but they just chase him and capture him, then chase him some more. Hell, the cover doesn't even happen in the book. Like, Stine added a skeleton dream to Say Cheese and Die!, and in a book about dreams, what's the excuse? But, I will say that for as messy as this book was, it was rectified shortly after with I Live In Your Basement!, a far more insane and violent book that while just as random as this book, still felt like a more worthwhile trip. As for this, this is just a sleeper.
#3. Attack of the Mutant
I know people who do like this book, so you're in the right to enjoy it. Me personally, I found it to be kinda mediocre. And I think it comes down to Skipper. He's one of those annoying comic book fans who micro-analyze every minor detail and have to keep their collection pristine like these books won't cost ten cents in two years let alone twenty. This is a book that has so many chances to be a great thriller about supervillains and superheroes and it's not until the very end that any of it feels like it matters. I do like the Libby twist, and the end stuff with the mutant is a good way to end it, playing up on the weakness mentioned early on. It just feels like a pain to sit through. Also, I dunno, Skipper feels like he'd grow up to run a Youtube channel and whine about how SJWs ruined his beloved franchises.
#4. Be Careful What You Wish For...
I read Blogger Beware years before I read through the original 62 myself, and Be Careful What You Wish For was given high marks. But when I read it myself, I was extremely let down. Not that the concept of the monkey's paw-style progression doesn't work, it's just that a lot of the book doesn't make sense in places. Why is Clarissa screwing Sam over? Is it because she's evil? Because she's too literal? But she gets Judith's wish on the money, so was she always in league with Judith? Why is it when Sam wishes things in certain places, they don't happen? If it's for sake of keeping the three wish structure, why can she get a mulligan later? The most interesting part of the book is the wish where Sam wishes everyone away, and the concept of her being the only person left on Earth is a genuinely creepy concept, but even that feels rushed and lacking. The twist is memorable, and even it being unfair doesn't stain it, but it comes at the end of a book that just exists. One that I rushed through when reviewing and one that I don't really feel all that willing to give a second chance to.
#5. The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena
Even when I didn't read Goosebumps, this was one that always interested me. I mean, you can't go wrong with a beast, out of its element, rampaging in a town. And that's what The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena should have provided. But somewhere in development, Stine hit a wall, and he hit it hard. He set things up for a story about an abominable snowman, then just stopped. Instead, he was more interested in a story about magic snowballs and a monster that gives warm hugs when you feed him trail mix. Look at that cover. An angry monster running amok. You can fill the standard 120 page structure with that without even losing the first half of the book. But, that's not what we get and we get boring magic snowballs.
This book, more than any in the original 62 showcases the glaring flaws in most of Goosebumps. Stine comes up with a cool idea, but his outline goes to hell in a hand basket with how quickly he has to get these books finished. And somewhere down the line he either gets bored of the outline, or he gets writer's block and can't figure how to make the original outline work, so he throws in what feels like items from the "maybe pile". Items that Stine can't get to work without peppering them into another story. And that's what the magic snowballs feels like. A weak hail Mary to save a book about an abominable snowman that he just didn't care to write a cool story about. Which easily makes this the most disappointing book I read in the original 62.
This book, more than any in the original 62 showcases the glaring flaws in most of Goosebumps. Stine comes up with a cool idea, but his outline goes to hell in a hand basket with how quickly he has to get these books finished. And somewhere down the line he either gets bored of the outline, or he gets writer's block and can't figure how to make the original outline work, so he throws in what feels like items from the "maybe pile". Items that Stine can't get to work without peppering them into another story. And that's what the magic snowballs feels like. A weak hail Mary to save a book about an abominable snowman that he just didn't care to write a cool story about. Which easily makes this the most disappointing book I read in the original 62.
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