It's time to get stone cold with today's review. We've had evil dummies, evil rabbits, evil cameras, now evil... snowmen? Whatever you say, Stine. It's Beware, The Snowman or Stay Frosty.
COVER STORY
While I ragged about Tim trying to make hamsters and rabbits scary in other covers, in the nineties there was some sort of weird interest in evil snowmen. We had Bad Mr. Frosty from the Clayfighter games, a horror movie called Jack Frost with a killer snowman, and a somehow even scarier Jack Frost starring Michael Keaton.
GAH!
So I'll give Tim credit for managing to make a decently creepy snowman, but this wasn't a cover that got me as a kid at all. Skeleton families? Sure. Sinister snowman with a scar on its face? Nah. The colors are good, and the general stuff from Tim are good like the sky and the trees, but it's still just a snowman, Stine.
STORY
Jaclyn DeForest, our protagonist for this tale, has just moved with her aunt Greta from Chicago to Sherpia, smack dab in the middle of the frigging Arctic Circle! Jaclyn's mom died five years ago, and her dad has mysteriously been M.I.A for years. One of the last things Jaclyn remembers of her mom is an old rhyme she'd always say to her.
When the snows blow wild
And the day grows old,
Beware, the snowman, my child.
Beware, the snowman.
He brings the cold
Jaclyn and Aunt Greta make it to their new home and start bringing in their belongings when Jaclyn notices a snowman a few yards from them. A snowman with a scar on its face. She thinks she sees it move, but deduces that it must be her imagination. While Aunt Greta gets the house ready, Jaclyn goes out, only to be startled by a pair of kids named Eli and Rolonda. She mentions the snowman with the scar, but they just seem confused. She also wants to go to the mountain nearby, which causes the two kids to panic, saying that nobody is allowed up there due to some tradition. She eventually parts ways with the kids, but on her way home runs into another snowman with a scowl and a scar on its face.
Regardless of the warnings, Jaclyn still wants to see what's atop the mountain. While up there, she sees a cabin and decides to just sneak inside. It's there that she gets attacked by a wolf named Wolfsbane. The owner of the wolf, named Conrad, calms it down, then warns Jaclyn about not going up the mountain, repeating the rhyme her mom told her. Apparently there's a snowman in an ice cave above the mountain, which Jaclyn shouldn't try to meet. Regardless, she runs off and continues her way to the mountain. The wolf follows her, causing her to stumble and fall down the hill. Fearing she's about to be wolf chow, she manages to escape it, and return to the road. On her way home, she sees yet another scarred snowman. And another. Anna and Elsa have been busy, I see.
She tells Rolonda about what happened with Conrad and the wolf. Rolonda then lets out that Conrad works for the snowman, but won't elaborate further at the moment. That night Jaclyn tries to get answers from Aunt Greta, but she just waves it off as village superstition. Goosebumps Pa-err, Goosebumps Aunts! Jaclyn mentions the snowman rhyme, which seems to make Aunt Greta nervous. That night, Jaclyn sneaks outside, and runs into yet more snowman. They cause her to panic, and she heads back home. With the rhyme bothering her, she seeks to find a second verse, but only finds Aunt Greta, not happy about her going out, and still not wanting to talk about what's bothering her.
She does get some answers from Rolonda the next day, who tells her about the story of the village. How it used to be home to a sorcerer couple. The two built a snowman and brought it to life through magic. But the snowman was too powerful. It was getting half hour "shorts" before Pixar movies! Oh, wait. He was becoming a threat, so the village trapped the snowman in the ice cave high in the mountain. Conrad lives in the mountain, but nobody knows what his motivation is, if he works for the snowman or not. The identical snowmen built by everyone is an honor to the snowman, in hopes that the honor will satisfy it and it will leave the town alone. Jaclyn's first instinct is to, of course, laugh at her, thinking this must be some gag. Because nothing's more endearing than someone who is in a foreign land just crapping on traditions, eh Logan Paul?
Later, Jaclyn is caught by Eli, who tells her that he's not only seen the snowman, but the snowman's seen him. He and his friends snuck into the cave a few weeks prior and he caught a glimpse of the snowman, who roared at him. He didn't say anything until now conveniently because he fears Jaclyn doesn't believe in the story. Jaclyn is still not buying this whole snowman thing and heads home. However, there's no sign of Aunt Greta. Only for Aunt Greta to come home immediately after and still dismiss the snowman tales. She tells Jaclyn again not to go to the mountains, but Jaclyn is now too curious and heads out to the mountain the next day to finally get some answers.
With the help of Rolonda and Eli, they manage to distract Conrad long enough for Jaclyn to climb the mountain to the ice cave. It's there that she sees the giant snowman. Panicked, she almost ends up slipping off an icy ledge, but saves herself. She introduces herself to the snowman, who is caught off guard by the name. You see, this snowman is her father! Dun-Dun-Dun! Or, at the very least is claiming to be her father. He says that Jaclyn's mother and aunt were sorceresses, who cast a spell on him. Greta came back to Sherpia because the spell was wearing off and she intends to keep it on him. Only Jaclyn can save him, but it requires learning the other half of the rhyme.
“When the snows melt
And the warm sun is with thee,
Beware, the snowman—
For the snowman shall go free!”
TWIST ENDING
The snow melts off the snowman, and sure enough, what emerges is a red scaled monster. He grabs the two of them and is about to toss them off the mountain. Suddenly all of the snowmen from town show up and attack the monster, eventually trapping it inside the ice walls of the cave. Conrad then arrives and tells them that he was the one who made the snowmen attack the monster. And one more bombshell, he's Jaclyn's real father! But their reunion is halted when the snowmen circle them. One then says that they just want to go home is all.
CONCLUSION
Beware, The Snowman is pretty decent. Not one that super wowed me, but still managed to be a decent little mystery. Not much for scares in this one, save for maybe the reveal of the monster, but the plot flowed along, offered some decent lore for Sherpia and the snowman, and the marathon of twists all were solid and made sense. Jaclyn's okay, but her just mocking the whole story from Rolonda does make me like her less, but it's so brief in the story that it doesn't completely make her a terrible protagonist. She's still no Evan. I can't say Jovial Bob made snowmen scary per se, but for this offering, it wasn't a frigid affair. Beware, The Snowman gets a C+.
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