Gooseblog: Goosebumps #38: The Abominable Snowman Of Pasadena

It's time to chill out for a while as we cover yet another book in the thirties. It's The Abominable Snowman Of Pasadena AKA The Abominable Bait-And-Switch Of R.L Stine.

COVER STORY

This cover is fine. Not one that scared me as a kid, but one I always liked for how much is going on. From the giant hulking ape creature (our abominable snowman) tearing apart the light pole, to the snow melting off him, meaning this guy's just thawed out, and he's pretty pissed off right now. Also, it's that part in this section where i gush over the great foliage. Especially the palm trees, which is something we haven't seen from Tim Jacobus up to this point. It helps add to the setting that this place is pretty hot. Too hot for an abominable snowman to be out and about. Good art, definitely the highlight of this book. Also monkey nipple.

STORY

Our protagonists for this book are Jordan Blake and his younger sister Nicole. Jordan hates Nicole. Literally within the first couple pages he talks about wishing that she was never born. Cool, one of those protagonists. He's also a prankster. Cool, one of THOSE PROTAGONISTS. Also, I know a guy with a cuckoo clock that might help you kid. The kids live in Pasadena, California with their dad, in one of the rare divorced families in these books. Their dad is an explorer who recently took pictures of bears in the Rocky Mountains. But when he develops the pictures, there's only pictures of teddy bears! Oh no! Wait, it was just Jordan playing a prank and the real pictures are safe. I'm going to hate this book, aren't I?

Later, the two kids are hanging around, bored and sweaty from the heat. They go visit their friend Lauren, only for Jordan to end up stabbed!... with a popsicle? It turns out this is the doing of Kyle and Kara Miller, a pair of twin bullies that are somehow more unbearable than Jordan. They shoot super soakers at the kids, and break their bikes. This prompts Jordan to start beating down on Kyle going all Ralphie on Scutt Farkus, only for Kara to throw a giant rock at him as if it were Ken Patera at a McDonald's. Oh wait, it's just a sponge rock, because if this book's going to have twists, they may as well be annoying as hell with them. Before this escalates to actual Rocks, Jordan and Nicole's dad shows up and tells them that he just got called to do an expedition in Alaska, and since their normal caretaker has conveniently vanished, he's taking his kids with him.

They make it to Iknek, and plan to get a hot meal before setting out on their snowman hunt. After Jordan mistakes a polar bear statue for an abominable snowman, the three meet Arthur Maxwell, their guide. He confirms to them that the abominable snowman is apparently real. Well, he hasn't actually seen it, but most of the people in town have. He also mentions that some people have tried to capture the monster, but have never come back. They go out to hunt the snowman, giving the kids ample time to be annoying. Jordan tries to pelt Nicole with snowballs, only to not notice the crevasse behind him, causing him to fall in. After he gets rescued, everyone heads to the cabin to rest for the night. The next day, they awaken to see giant footprints. Something was wandering last night. No, wait, it was Jordan being an annoying prankster again.

They find something near the snow ridge that sends the sled dogs in a panic, and makes Arthur want to just quit this expedition all together. After some more mulling around, eventually Arthur speeds off in a panic, abandoning the Blake family. Jordan and Nicole try to give chase, but there's no luck in trying to outrun four sled dogs. They head back to the cabin when suddenly the ground gives way underneath them. They fell into another crevasse. Nicole, being an idiot, screams for her father, which causes an avalanche, sealing them in. They follow through a narrow tunnel, seeing what appears to be light.

But what the end up finding is the abominable snowman. However, the beast is frozen solid, so they don't have to worry about being mauled. Or they would be if not for a few minutes later when the beast does break free from the ice and starts attacking them. But it turns out that the way to a snow ape's heart is through a bag of trail mix, which Nicole uses to calm the abominable snowman down.  The snowman grabs the two kids and helps them get out of the crevasse. They manage to find their dad and show him where they found the snowman. But when they find the beast, it's once again back into its frozen state. They decide to take the abominable snowman back home with them to Pasadena, along with some snowballs from the ice cave where it dwells.

They all return to Pasadena and resume their normal lives. Jordan invites Lauren to see the snowman, which is still frozen in a trunk. He also tries to throw one of the snowballs at Lauren, but misses, hitting a tree. However, the tree starts to suddenly freeze and gets covered in snow. So yeah, suddenly we shift focus from giant ape monster to magic snowballs. Then Lauren, being an idiot, hits Nicole with one of the magic snowballs, causing her to freeze solid. Panicking, the kids decide that maybe they can free the snowman, which might fix things. They use the trail mix to wake it up, and then the abominable snowman grabs Nicole and gives her a giant hug. This somehow manages to reverse the freezing process. The beast then escapes, not before hugging the frozen tree, which reverses that as well. So, the creature has magic hugging powers. Okay, sure Stine. Then the abominable snowman just runs away, with nobody thinking to, you know, GO AFTER IT BEFORE IT DOES ANY DAMAGE!!

TWIST ENDING

No, instead the kids decide that the smart thing to do is to get rid of the magic snowballs. Although, one would say that keeping them and not using them is the smarter idea, but then how would we be able to end the book with Kyle and Kara, the bullies from earlier, finding the snowballs? Kyle grabs one and throws it at Kara as the other kids try to stop him. Well, I hope you can find a snowman that can give a helluva hug.

CONCLUSION

The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena is almost a good Goosebumps book. Almost. Stine does a particularly good job with the Alaskan expedition, which leads to some good moments and even some intrigue with the Arthur character leaving them high and dry. And even the early stuff with the abominable snowman is some awesome stuff. It's just a shame that Jovial Bob ends up getting a hard on for magic snowballs instead of giving us what could have been some great stuff when they brought the abominable snowman back to Pasadena. You don't get any of the implied rampaging that the cover provides, instead it's just a monster that likes warm hugs. It's frigging Olaf! Add in some unlikable kid protagonists and you have a book that just kind of sits there. Another unfortunate case of Stine hitting a wall and losing focus by the end. Shame. Not the worst book, but nothing to write home about. The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena gets a C.