Here we are. Seven books into the Goosebumps library, with the book that everyone remembers. Even if you never read the books in your youth, you remember this one. So, get working on your ventriloquism skills, get over that puppet fear, and let's dive into Night of the Living Dummy AKA Pamela Voorhees Syndrome.
COVER STORY
This cover is one of Jacobus' best works and it's easily one of the scariest. This close up shot of Slappy with his painted lipped mouth open and his bright green eyes staring a hole at what could be your very soul. The shadows again making him look even more ominous and evil and the light reflecting off his mahogany head gives this really alien vibe. It's a masterwork of fright, coming in at a perfect era where scary puppets and dolls were prevalent in popular culture. Child's Play was still a major franchise, The Simpsons had their evil Krusty Doll short from Treehouse of Horror. Hell, even Urkel would have his own evil dummy doppleganger in Stevil a couple years from now. So, having a book with this mug on the cover, I can see how it can freak anyone with a bad case of pupaphobia (fear of puppets).
STORY
Protagonists for this book are twin sisters Kris and Lindy Powell. Particularly Kris. They're extremely competitive with one another at pretty much everything. They go look around a new house being built, and spot something in the dumpster. A ventriloquist dummy. Lindy is excited over it, while Kris thinks it's lame. Lindy names the dummy Slappy, mainly out of an interest to slap Kris around. Kris has been a whiny brat, so I recommend. Lindy and Slappy become a hit with all the kids, leading to her actually getting paid for performances. Kris is annoyed, but clearly jealous of this whole dummy business. She begs her parents to buy her a dummy, which also annoys Lindy because Kris is a copycatting hack.
And her begging seems to work as her father brings home a dummy for Kris. A redheaded dummy that Kris dubs Mr. Wood. Really Stine? Slappy and Mr. Wood? I don't come to Goosebumps for masturbation euphemisms. Wait, I said "come to". Dammit! Where Slappy has his formal outfit of a suit and tie, Mr. Wood wears jeans, sneakers and a flannel shirt. I guess even dummies weren't averse to the grunge fad. Kris keeps trying in vain to be entertaining with her dummy, but isn't as good as Lindy who is soaking in all the popularity that she can.
Everything seems to be going fine enough until strange things start to happen. Kris begins to constantly find Mr. Wood out of place. First Mr. Wood is found in Lindy's clothes, and she claims to have no idea how it happened. Then later when Lindy holds Mr. Wood (dammit, this is going to be a lewder write-up than I thought), he starts to call Kris names. Again, Lindy says she had no control. Later that night, Kris spots Mr. Wood with his arms around Slappy's throat. This all reaches its crescendo when Kris spots Mr. Wood in front of the fridge with all the food spilled about, and all of Kris' jewelry on the floor.. It's here where Lindy finally cops to it, saying that she was the one moving Mr. Wood around (phrasing), trying to mess with Kris. Their mother is particularly pissed at them for this, and the two end up having to clean the mess up.
Later on, despite having Mr. Wood for weeks, Kris just suddenly discovers a piece of paper in his pocket. The writing reads “Karru marri odonna loma molonu karrano.” Not sure if that's a reference, or just made up language (though willing to guess the latter). Before anything can really happen, their neighbors the Millers show up, wanting to be entertained by the dummies. Kris starts to use Mr. Wood (phrasing), but he starts to hurl insults at the two. She then performs at a school concert with Mr. Wood, who starts insulting the music teacher for her weight. Then suddenly, Mr. Wood pulls an exorcist and spews pea green vomit all over the crowd.
So, everyone is on the verge of murdering Kris over what's going on, and she can't get anyone to believe her. That night however, she sees Mr. Wood walking around. She tries to prove to everyone that the dummy is alive, but all I can imagine at this point is the Michigan J. Frog short. Except instead of doing the Michigan Rag, Mr. Wood is spitting out wicked harsh fat jokes. However, soon Lindy also sees Mr. Wood alive as well. They reread the piece of paper, which Mr. Wood tells them is a spell that an evil wizard used to bring them to life. They try to pull at Mr. Wood's head- Okay I literally can't write anything at this point without worrying that the feds are going to throw me in jail.
They pull at the dummy's head, trying to rip it off, to no avail. Mr. Wood mocks them, saying that they will be his slaves from now on. Now, this has always been one of the things about the dummy stuff that has bewildered me. Why do dummies need slaves? They don't need to eat, they certainly don't need to be lavished upon. I guess they would want to be kept clean and in working condition. A nice varnish here and there. And again, it's hard to write about this without it getting skeezy, but is-is it a sex thing? Do... do the dummies have genitalia? Should I be really worried about R.L Stine right now?
They instead bury Mr. Wood in the yard next to their house. That would work, if they forgot that the thing can move, and can get himself right back into the house. After being chewed out by their parents again, the kids later see Mr. Wood moving again. He then begins to strangle their dog Barky. Again with the dog abuse? What is with you, Jovial Bob? Kris and Lindy tackle the dummy, eventually spilling to the outside, and into an oncoming steamroller. Mr. Wood ends up getting flattened, with a weird green gas escaping from the splintered remains. The operator, scared that he's going to jail for murdering a kid, is a lot more relieved to realize that he just killed Pinocchio instead.
TWIST ENDING
CONCLUSION
So, like I said in the beginning, this book is a case of Pamela Voorhees syndrome. You know Friday the 13th, right? Well, duh, if you're into old books like this, you probably are. Well, you know how Jason is the star of the franchise and how you equate the name Friday the 13th with the monstrous brute in the hockey mask? Well, let's say you went into the series blind, from the first movie. Only to learn that Jason isn't the villain in the original film, but instead the killer is Jason's mother Pamela. And then the movie ends with a jump scare of Jason popping out of the water. That's kind of what we got with Night of the Living Dummy. A franchise that's known for Slappy, but he wasn't the first villain of the series. Mr. Wood was. And yet, Mr. Wood seems to be the character that the franchise wants you to just forget about. He never appears again in any book, Stine says he'll never bring him back, and then just makes a sequel that is so similar to this book that the television show does that one instead. Ouch.
But that doesn't exactly mean that Night of the Living Dummy is this amazing book. It's paced well enough, but it never feels all that scary. You're so set up to the fact that the girls are at each other's throats early on that you don't fall much for the earlier scares with the dummies moving around. The book does get more interesting with the magic spell, and Mr. Wood being the villain, but even then it's nothing spectacular. Part of me kind of wishes that this was all in Kris' head, making her seem crazy. Like somehow she ends up suffering some split personality where Mr. Wood represents her bad side, her need to do terrible things. Kind of like Scarface in the DC Universe. But instead we get weird penis names and dog strangulation. Maybe there is a reason Mr. Wood's been forgotten after all. His debut is kind of forgettable. Bring on Slappy. Night of the Living Dummy gets a C.
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