For the first time, it's Raw that goes unopposed during this Monday Night War. And it's a star studded edition as Hunter Hearst Helmsley takes on Bret Hart, Goldust shows us a special production from Piper's Pit, and we get more "comedy" with Billionaire Ted (I swear we're almost free from this). But opening action is Shawn Michaels taking on the 1-2-3 Kid. Shawn mock's the Kid's martial arts poses to start. Headlock takedown by the Kid (who uses the ropes to gain some leverage. He follows with a second headlock takedown, covering for two.
Shawn finally breaks free, but the Kid continues to avoid offense, and hits some big strikes including a spin kick. Cover only gets a two. Kid strikes a pose, but gets caught in a roll up by Shawn for two. Shawn catches Kid in a press and slams him down, following with a clothesline that takes Kid out, while Shawn skins the cat over the ropes. We get an interview with Bret Hart backstage who says that Shawn wouldn't be foolish to be cocky around him in the ring at the Ironman match at Wrestlemania. Shawn catches Kid with a powerslam and covers for two.
Headlock by Shawn is broken by Kid, who catches Shawn with another big spin kick to the mouth, following with a dropkick that sends Shawn over the ropes. He follows with a springboard over the buckle and on to Shawn, ramming Shawn's head to the floor over and over. And while the ref is distracted, Dibiase gets in some cheap shots. Bret backstage (sounding bored as hell) certainly does not condone those actions. Shawn gets back in, but the Kid is quick to continue offense, hitting more kicks. Hard whip to the buckle and a dropkick. Cover, but only a two count as we go to break.
When we return, 1-2-3 Kid is still in control, hitting a fast leg drop and covering for two. Kid goes in for a chinlock, but Shawn breaks free. Shawn catches Kid's foot, but the other comes up and catches him in the face. Cover for two. Back into the chinlock is the Kid who follows with some elbows to the head. He whips Shawn, but Shawn ducks a clothesline and hits a big one of his own. Shawn gets the nip up and starts laying in some rights. He whips Kid in the corner, but the Kid reverses. He fakes out the Kid and hits a moonsault, peppering in some punches.
Big flying forearm by Shawn, followed by a scoop slam and an elbow drop off the top buckle. He goes for a Sweet Chin Music, but the Kid escapes out of the ring. He gets back in and gets some shots in on Shawn, including a scoop slam. He goes to the top rope for a diving leg drop, but Shawn avoids. Sweet Chin Music gets the win for Shawn Michaels. A great back and forth match with both men looking great. Maybe that has to do with them both being Kliq members, but considering that when the Kid is on, he puts on some of the best matches. As we close in on the ironman match, seeing Shawn in strong battles like this definitely help build momentum going forward to the ironman match.
We get a Shattered Dreams production from Goldust and Marlena with the pair in the old Piper's Pit set. He talks about how Piper used to be huge and talks about how his early teenage fantasies came from this pit. He literally talks about cumming himself when Piper hit Jimmy Snuka with the coconut. He then talks about how Piper has changed his set to Hollywood and has done quite well there. Piper may be a future Hollywood great, but not the greatest as that belongs to Goldust. He says that if Piper is a good little boy, he may treat him to something extra. Goldust then starts playing with a set of bagpipes. No, actual bagpipes for once.
We get another video package for the Ultimate Warrior, who is now officially set to return at Wrestlemania 12. Vince particularly uses this video package to take digs at how Warrior has Wrestlemania victories over Hogan and Savage. But remember, Vince isn't the vindictive one. This is all Ted Turner's fault. Again, this "new generation" bringing in the same type of worker that Vince has the gall to refer to as old and broken down.
Up next, Hakushi is in action taking on a Raw debut. It's Justin Hawk Bradshaw (managed by Uncle Zebekiah). I guess we had to talk about ol' bullying scumbag JBL sooner or later, I guess. He debuted into the wrestling world in 1992, working in the GWF, around Mexico and Japan, and a stint in the NWA where he would win the North American Heavyweight Championship. He signed with the WWF in late 1995 and debuted in January as Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw.
Clubbing blows and kicks by Bradshaw as we go to Roddy Piper on the phone. Piper calls Lawler a Rush Limbaugh wannabe, then focuses on Wrestlemania news. He says that he will announce the opponent for the Ultimate Warrior next week on Raw. On the subject of the Goldust movie, he says that he didn't know Ed Wood was still alive. He understands Goldust better than anyone, and since Goldust wants to play mind games, Piper will be on Raw next week to take the gold from Goldust.
Back in the ring, Bradshaw has been in complete control. He whips Hakushi in the corner, but Hakushi avoids contact. Several strikes including a handspring elbow from the modern day Kamikaze. He however eats a big boot from Bradshaw. He tries a plancha, but Bradshaw is quick to beat him down on the floor. Boot and a stiff clothesline by Bradshaw gets the win. Post-match, Bradshaw hog ties Hakushi and Zebekiah brands him.
Another Mankind vignette. More of the same. Great insane ramblings about how disfigured he is and that there soon will be time to have revenge on those against him. He promises that soon no one will have a nice day.
Main event time up next. It's Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with Emerald Heart) taking on WWF Champion Bret Hart. Lock up from both men early on. Hunter gets in some shots and whips Bret to the buckle. Bret gets a boot in and hits a clothesline off the second buckle. He rams Hunter into the buckle and then hits a headbutt. Headlock takedown and a forearm Bret works the shoulder of Hunter with some stiff knees and some yanks. We see Shawn Michaels make his way to ringside with a chair in tow.
When we come back from break, Bret is still in control, still working the shoulder. Hunter tries an elbow but Bret turns it around into a cross body. Cover, but Hunter throws Bret into the referee. Hunter then throws Bret to the outside while Shawn continues to stay in his seat. Bret yells at Shawn and tells him to go watch outside as Hunter dives at Bret. But Bret gets in a shot to the midsection. Bret rams Hunter head-first into the steel guardrail.
Learned a bit too much from the mentor, eh Hunter? Wooooo!
Bret and Hunter return to the ring as Bret hits a boot to the lower extremities. Bret goes back into shoulder work, but Hunter grabs the hair. Whip by Hunter who gets in a high knee to the face of Bret. European uppercut and some hard strikes in the corner by Hunter. Hard whip to the corner by Hunter who follows with a second. Hunter hits a vertical suplex, then follows with a knee drop. Cover only gets a two count. We go to break again. When we return, Hunter dives off the second buckle, only to eat a boot by Bret.
Inverse atomic drop (which Vince calls a spinebuster), then hits a clothesline and a bulldog. Backbreaker and the patented elbow drop off the second rope. Cover, but Hunter gets his foot on the ropes. Bret argues with the ref as Hunter rolls him up for two. Bret throws Hunter out of the ring and brawls with him on the entrance way. He brings Hunter back in who begs Bret off, only to get a cheap shot. He dives off, but gets caught in a Sharpshooter for his first Raw loss. A decent enough main event. Slow in a lot of spots, but picked up very well by the end. Just like Shawn and the Kid, this was the right kind of match Bret needs going to the Wrestlemania main event.
Oh god, you know already that this is going to be bad when they put up a disclaimer. "To entertain and inform". It's done neither of those in the two months we've dealt with Billionaire Ted. Vince is so concerned with Turner owning 50% of cable systems, but let's be honest, if Vince was in the same position of power, he'd do this in a heartbeat.
On this week's edition of "Billionaire Ted" our favorite corrupt mogul is on an episode of "Tee Vee Trivia" (Which they used once for a Raw season premiere promo). Essentially digging up a bunch of awful comments by Ted Turner over the years, while again playing Turner up as an ignorant moron. So stupid that he loses to a bimbo named Candy. All while Nacho Man cheers him on with some young looking women (oh god, they actually went there, didn't they?). Where's the Huckster? He's still handcuffed to the ring post from last week's Nitro. Also, Vince is so appaled by Ted Turner's racist comments, but hey, it's fine when your best buddies with Donald Trump huh? Only a few weeks to go, I swear.
That aside, this was a really good episode of Raw. Shawn vs Kid was a good fast-paced match, Bradshaw had a very dominant squash, I'm actually liking the directions that Goldust vs Roddy Piper is taking, and while it was a bit slow in places, I think Hunter vs Bret was a solid main event. It's a shame that Billionaire Ted once again muddies what would have been an A-region show. But this is still strong enough to get a B.
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