Short arm clothesline by Roberts is avoided by Yankem, who hits a big clothesline of his own, and follows with a couple elbow drops. He chokes Roberts in the corner, then grabs at the face. You can see the snake (Revelations), moving in the bag while Yankem continues to lay in strikes in the corner. Boot in the corner by Roberts. He tries a back body drop, but Yankem avoids. He tries a DDT (or DDS as he calls it), but Jake grabs the ropes to avoid. a DDT from the originator gets the win in an okay enough opener.
We get another video package for the Ultimate Warrior as we see kids asking Roddy Piper to bring him back.
Up next, Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly is in action against Diesel. We get recaps from In Your House 6 as well as last Monday on Raw as Diesel's interactions with the Undertaker have heated up. Considering that Diesel destroyed Undertaker's casket last week, you can't think that the dead man is in a good mood. Elbows and punches by Diesel to start things off. Holly avoids an elbow in the corner and comes back with punches off his own, until he's easily shoved off by Diesel.
Clothesline from Diesel, who then starts looking around the ring, concerned about Undertaker popping through. He still follows up with a sidewalk slam. He checks the ring some more to make sure it's safe, then drops a knee on the draped Holly. More punches in the corner on Holly followed by a stiff throw into the buckle. Holly gets a boot to the midsection, then follows with a dropkick. Triple clotheslines that take Diesel down. We go to break with Holly in control, but when we return, Diesel hits a Jackknife and gets the win in a lulz worthy way to end this match.
Diesel heads up the ramp, confident that there's no Undertaker, but the gongs hit and the lights go out. Taker shows up in the ring and stares down the dead man. Diesel heads to the ring and the lights go out again. Undertaker vanishes from the ring when the lights go back up. Lights go off again as we see Undertaker on the video wall. He says that if Diesel wants to play mind games, Taker is the master of the mind games. He says that he'll see Diesel on the the dark side.
Up nex,t we have Shinobi (Al Snow in another Ninja gimmick) taking on Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed easily throws Shinobi over the ropes. Meanwhile, we hear from Goldust on the phone who recites an ode to President Piper. Particularly talking about Piper's skirt, and having a hard piece of timber underneath. He wants to "play with the bagpipes", essentially.
Back in the ring, Shinobi tries a springboard, but falls flat on his face. This is the second time he's tried high flying only to botch terribly. Spinebuster and a Pearl River Plunge get the win for Ahmed in a sloppy match.
Another Mankind vignette as he talks about his mommy waking up late to have people hear his beautiful music. He talks to his rat George and says that Mankind is in pain, is in suffering and is in agony. He says that the time has come to relieve that pain, which will be enjoyable for him, but not so much for all of you.
Vince is in the ring to interview both Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. Shawn says there is no one who has more respect for Bret than Shawn Michaels (Yep, sure). He says that Bret's the best there was and ever will be, but right now the best there is is Shawn Michaels. Bret praises Shawn and that the past five months as champion has been the hardest in his career with all the big guys he's faced, but he looks forward to face a guy like Shawn to prove why he is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. It's not his job to beat Shawn, it's Shawn's job to beat him. He says that once the bell rings, he's gonna hit him with everything but the kitchen sink, and he's in for the biggest dog fight of his life.
Shawn says that Bret has had nothing but tough opponents, but as someone who's been beaten up by nine thugs and seven footers, he's not doing so bad himself. They have a lot of respect for each other, but when it comes to conditioning, he's in the best condition of his life. Bret responds by referring to the Energizer bunny as he keeps going, going, and going.
Roddy Piper shows up. He says that his job as the president of the WWF is that the fans get a fair shake at every match at Wrestlemania 12. He gets concerned about the boos Bret and Shawn are getting from some of the audience, which just gets more boos. He says Wrestlemania is a night to fight, and that there must be a winner in this match. He says that their WWF title match won't be a one fall match, but a match where the man can get the most falls on the other. It will be a one hour Ironman match.
Main event time up next as Yokozuna takes on Camp Cornette members Owen Hart and the British Bulldog in a handicap match. Owen and Yoko start. Owen avoids some clotheslines, but gets caught with a back elbow. Big body slam by Yoko follows. Owen tries to reverse a whip, but gets hit with a big clothesline. Tag to Bulldog. Bulldog tries shoulder blocks that don't take Yoko down, but gets caught with a slam from the big man. Owen comes in, but gets back dropped.
Yoko whips Bulldog to the corner and tries a splash, but Bulldog avoids, causing the big man to crash. Missile dropkick by Owen as hte heels start double teaming and beating him down as we go to break. When we return, Owen continues to hammer on Yoko, then tags Bulldog as the heels continue to beat him down. Owen goes up for a splash, but Yoko escapes.
Vader arrives again and goes on the attack on Yoko, causing a disqualification. The heels beat down on Yoko some more until Ahmed Johnson and Jake Roberts make the save. Jake pulls Revelations out of the bag and sends Vader in retreat.
We end Raw with, what else? Another edition of "Larry Fling Live". This time with the Huckster and the Nacho Man. Again, a lot of jokes about how the two are ancient and old. This segment, I must remind you, in a show featuring JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS AND RODDY PIPER!!! Lots of Old, bald, and fart jokes. We also get some Ted involved, which goes from old jokes to "oh boy, how corrupt is Ted?" This may have been the worst one yet, and that's saying a lot after two months of this so far.
Okay, this got a laugh because after Hogan's been killing everyone with a chair on TV lately, this is rightfully apropos. That aside, I'll be so happy when this crap is over. Just a little over a month til Mania.
A pretty average edition of Raw this week. Nothing really exciting in terms of the in-ring. Jake and Yankem was fine, as was Holly and Diesel (up until the rushed finish from the break), Ahmed and Shinobi was a mess, and Yoko vs Bulldog and Owen was more an angle than a match. I did like the build between Taker and Diesel continuing, along with the segment between Bret and Shawn as it does a decent job building towards their ironman match at Wrestlemania. Then there's the Billionaire Ted segment, which is still hot trash. Overall, a basic edition of Raw worthy of a C+ rating.
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