Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Nitro Charged: WCW World War 3


It's Sunday, November 26th, 1995. Toy Story breaks expectations in animation and wins the box office. Whitney Houston exhales into the number one spot in the Billboard hot 100. In WCW however, things have gone, for lack of a better term, outright insane.


Let's travel back to Fall Brawl where The Giant snapped the neck of Hulk Hogan. In the middle of the build to Halloween Havoc, the Taskmaster, disguised as an old woman, attacked Hogan and shaved his mustache off. This sent Hogan spiraling into "the darkside of Hulkamania", dressed in black, he seemed to embrace the evils of the Dungeon of Doom. After being a victim of a turn from his manager Jimmy Hart...

 and being a victim of Mummy Bumming...


Hogan lost his WCW World Title against The Giant. As Hogan fell further down the rabbit hold of insanity, with Randy Savage in tow, The Giant would be stripped of the WCW title, and as such the gold would be put up for grabs in a 60 man battle royal at World War 3. Think of it like a Royal Rumble, only with six rings and a bigger headache. This is going to be hell to cover accurately.  WCW World War 3 was held in the Norfolk Scope, in Norfolk, Virginia. 12,000 attendance. .43 buyrate.


Speaking of Hogan-Senpai, I guess he's cured of his darkside is already over. He's buddy buddy with Sting and Savage, and quickly tears off his black shirt and bandana, throwing them into a flaming trash can. This would be impressive, if Hogan's red and yellow tights gave this away. Yes, Emo Hogan, Executioner Hogan, they're dead brother. It's back to the red and yellow uber goober. But Hogan's far from done with his tirade tonight.


"Observe this, brother! This is what we call a rag sheet, brother!" Hogan has with him a copy of the Wrestling Observer newsletter. He mocks how Dave Meltzer said that Savage was legit injured and that the Giant was the shoe-in to win tonight. "This is like a dinosaur compared to the internet, brother" says Hogan-Senpai as he throws the newsletter into the flaming can. Because, you know, the internet can't possibly get fake information out there. Especially not in wrestling. Kane's gonna debut that green mask sooner or later, I just know it! Hogan promises that Savage, Sting and the Hulkster will steal the title. A bizarre, bizarre promo to open the show.


Our opening match is a TV title match between Diamond Dallas Page and Johnny B. Badd. However, the caveat in this month's encounter is that the Diamond Doll is finally sick of Page's actions lately and as such is putter her employment with DDP on the line. If Badd wins, he not only keeps the TV title, but gets the services of the Diamond Doll.

Page shoves Badd in the corner early on and hits an arrogant slap to the chest. Badd and Page brawl to the outside, but Page lands a thumb to the eye, only for Badd to come back by throwing him into the steel post. Back in the ring, Badd ducks a clothesline and lands a cross body, only for Page to turn it around into a cover for two. Badd avoids offense and lands a crucifix drop. Headlock takedown by Badd, but Page tries to roll him up, but Badd constantly kicks out.


Page breaks out of the headlock and tries for a top wristlock, only to take down Badd with a hair pull takedown. Badd comes back with some arm work, but Page pulls the hair again. Some woman in the crowd cheers for Badd to which Page yells "Shut up you bimbo!" Page tries to keep Badd down with a wristlock, but Badd succeeds in taking him down. Page tries to clothesline Badd, but launches himself outside of the ring. Plancha by Badd. He goes after Page, but Page throws the Diamond Doll into Badd and sucker punches him. Back in the ring as Page is back in control. Whip sternum first into the buckle and a back suplex from Page.

Badd tries a headscissors, only for Page to turn it into a reverse pancage. He calls for the number card, but Diamond Doll refuses. Badd catches the foot, but ends up catching a clothesline from Page, who covers for two. Whip to the buckle and a running headbutt to the midsection of Badd. Another attempt is met with nothing as Badd avoids and Page lands shoulder first into the buckle. He goes for a kick, but takes a cartoonish pratfall as he misses. Boot by Badd as Page again takes a flop. Atomic drop from Badd who follows with some rights. Page reverses a clothesline, but gets hits foot caught. Badd ducks a clothesline and lands one of his own.

Which earns him a 10+ from the Diamond Doll.

Sitout powerbomb from Badd only gets a two count. He goes to strike Page in the corner, but Page gets an elbow to the face. Cover by Page with the use of the ropes still only gets a two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Page. Johnny tries to roll up Page, but only gets a two count. Badd succeeds with the headscissors. He tries the Badd Mood,  but Page gets his knees up. Page lands a gutbuster and covers, still just for two. Badd escapes a gutwrench but eats an elbow to the face.  Tombstone from Page is turned around into one from Badd. Cover gets only a two. Badd knocks Page out of the ring and calls for the Badd Mood over the ropes, hitting Page perfectly. Slingshot leg drop by Badd gets the three as the Diamond Doll realizes "what the hell have I done?"

A much better match than what we got from last month, mainly due to a lot less outside antics and much more focus on the match itself. While there was nothing super incredible in the match, both men worked well with each other and made each other look great. Page's scumbag character works well with the flamboyant tough in Badd. And we get an interesting end as we see that Kimberly the Diamond Doll who despite having issues with Page doesn't seem sure of her future now that she's aligned with Badd. Solid enough storytelling for me.


Gene Okerlund shills the WCW hotline, bringing up the WWF steroid scandal, but then focuses on interviewing Badd and Kimberly. Badd says that he'll teach Kimberly what R-E-S-P-E-C-T is all about. He gives her the opportunity to manage him, but tells her that she doesn't have to answer tonight. She still doesn't seem adamant about this development, but she'll think about it.


Up next is a taped fist match between Big Bubba Rogers and Hacksaw Jim Duggan.  The story behind this being that for months now Bubba Boss Man has been using a taped fist with a concealed quarter roll to win matches. Duggan flew to Ireland to learn more about his Irish heritage  and how his grandmother was a taped fist champion. And this has led to this match stipulation where the hands are taped up as to feel stiffer.  And since this is WCW, of course we start with a face Pearl Harboring as Hacksaw runs up behind Bubba and starts walloping him.

Hard right by Hacksaw who continues to attack Bubba on the outside. USA chants for Hacksaw despite Boss Man also being American. Duggan goes to whack Bubba with the 2x4, like a face would, but after too much hesitation, is eventually forced to drop it. Bubba gets a shot to the midsection, but Hacksaw lands several clotheslines that eventually send Bubba tumbling outside. Duggan and Bubba brawl to a different ring and enter there since I guess it doesn't matter what ring they use. Bubba tries to escape, but Hacksaw wedges his head between ring posts and punches him back out. Hacksaw dives off another ring, but Bubba gets a shot in, causing Hacksaw to crash into the guardrail.


Uppercut by Bubba who follows by throwing Hacksaw back into a ring. Fists aplenty from Bubba Boss Man who hits Hacksaw so hard it causes him to smack his forehead into the camera leaving a watery smudge. Hacksaw rolls into another ring, as Bubba runs in and continues to lay fists. Hacksaw comes back with some rights of his own, but Bubba lands an enziguri. Bubba tapes up his fist some more and lands a few body blows and a punch in the mouth. Shoulder block by Hacksaw sends Bubba out again. Hacksaw follows, but gets another shot in the gut.

Back into another ring as Bubba tapes Hacksaw's hand into the rope. Hacksaw tries to untie himself as Bubba continues striking. Eventually as if like a cartoon character, Bubba runs face first into Hacksaw's fist. He back drops Bubba over the ropes and finally frees himself. More fists by Hacksaw finally bust up Bubba. He picks up Bubba and slams him. 3 point stance in the corner followed by a clothesline.


But V.K Wallstreet (offended by Hacksaw's treatment of men wearing suspenders obviously) shows up with a chain wrapped around his fist. However Irwin gets himself a 2X4 for his troubles. This gives Bubba enough time to put the chain on his fist and land an uppercut. He stuffs the chain away and very slowly gets up as he wins by count out. Sloppy match and way too long for a brawl of this variety, but I didn't think it was that bad. The focus of the match was two guys punching the crap out of each other and it definitely delivered on that. Could have been much worse, but I enjoyed it.


Gene Okerlund is here with Ric Flair as he brings up the battle royal and Flair's issues with Sting. Flair says that despite Sting's attempt to end his career a few weeks back, the great one is back. In terms of the battle royal he says that this is his master plan. He has everyone in the same building and like Dr. Jay ruled the scope and he'll rule WCW one more time. Not one of Flair's better promos, a bit too disjointed and lacking in focus.


Up next, it's Japanese women's tag action. Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs Akira Hokuto and my beloved Bull Nakano (managed by Sonny Oono).  Oh Bull, you have been missed. Nakano and Hokuto attack Suzuki and Ozaki to start. Double boots to Ozaki and a hard hair pull from Nakano. Another hair pull that sends Ozaki spinning. Tag to Hokuto who lands an elbow to the shoulder of Ozaki. She stretches Ozaki and mocks Suzuki, pulling the arm of Ozaki toward her and swatting it away. Lots of racist bits from Heenan including a lame laundromat comment.

Hokuto tags in Nakano who bites at the arm of Ozaki. Suzuki tries to reach for Ozaki, and eventually goes to just trying to kick at Nakano. Another hair pull takedown from Nakano and a double choke as Hokuto takes down Ozaki. Splash by Nakano, but Suzuki stops the count. Ozaki tries to fight off Nakano but is quickly dominated. She ties Ozaki in the ropes as Hokuto (not "Hirohito", Brain) adds leverage. DDT by Ozaki who finally tags in Suzuki.  Running dropkick by Suzuki who covers for two. She turns it around into a half crab on Hokuto. Nakano tries to make the save, but Ozaki locks in a half crab of her own. Running stomps by Suzuki who takes the foot of Ozaki into the rope as she drops her weight on the knee.


Half crab by Suzuki, but Nakano stops it. Ozaki grabs Nakano, but Suzuki accidentally knocks her down. Nakano tries a moonsault, but misses as Ozaki and Suzuki land multiple diving foot stomps (which Heenan ruins with a "Hiroshima Heimlich" comment). Double suplex by Nakano. Diving attack by Hokuto misses as Suzuki and Ozaki dropkick Nakano. They try a double superplex, but Nakano stops it, allowing for a cross body from Hokuto. Double hurricanrana by Ozaki and Suzuki. Double clotheslines by the faces who cover for two.

 Tag to Ozaki who hits a dragon suplex, but Hokuto kicks out. German suplex by Hokuto, who drops Ozaki on her neck. Chop by Nakano who covers, but Suzuki kicks out. The faces duck a clothesline, but get hit with a missine dropkick by Hokuto. Flip splash off the top buckle to the outside from Hokuto on Suzuki and Ozaki. Doomsday device from the heels as Nakano covers, only for Suzuki to make the save in vain. Slam by Hokuto and a diving leg leg drop  from Nakano gets the win for the heels.

Awesome, awesome match. Fast paced, exciting. All four women working their hardest with some offense you rarely see from wrestling of this era. Granted, I do feel it was sloppy in a lot of places, but I can hardly complain with an excellent match like that. I missed you so much Bull Nakano.



Okerlund shills the hotline yet again and interviews Jimmy Hart (you little twerp) and Lex Luger. Hart says that Savage will be looking at the next world champion tonight in Luger. Luger thinks he's due for a high five and is left hanging by Hart. Luger says that he's the flagship of WCW. He's going to break Macho Man in 100 pieces and won't make it to the battle royal.



Up next, it's Chris Benoit taking on Kensuke Sasaki (with Sonny Oono) for the WCW United States title. They mention Akira Hokuto as Sasaki's wife, to which Schiavone brings up what it must be like as next door neighbors. "Can you imagine koncking on the door and telling them 'your dog is in my yard'?" says Tony. "Can you imagine not finishing all your rice?" comes back the Brain.


Both men lock up to start with Benoit taking Sasaki to the corner with some chops and boots. He shows the "Four Horsemen" hand sign, to remind us "oh yeah, he's in that stable." Sasaki takes him to the corner landing ever harder chops. Waistlock by Benoit, but Sasaki breaks it, only for Benoit to lay a drop toe hold in and work the arm. Sasaki flips him over with a back drop as we still have a stalemate. Test of strength from both men but Sasaki overpowers Benoit, until Benoit gets a boot to the gut and works in on the hammerlock.

Yet another test of strength but Benoit wraps the arms of Sasaki around his neck, trying to cut circulation. Sasaki breaks free and starts to stomp him down. Hard body slams from Sasaki who covers for one. He goes in to a chinlock and follows with a shoulder block. Benoit tries to avoid contact, but Sasaki picks him up and press slams him down to the mat. Benoit stops what appears to be a crab attempt, sending Sasaki out of the ring. He then follows with a suici... err, dive through the ropes.


He brings Sasaki back into the ring and hits a snap suplex. Cover, but only a one count again. He grapevines the legs over the head of Sasaki as Oono joins the commentary team. He was recently kicked off WCW Pro Wrestling, but he says that he has made compensation for Starrcade. Find out what that is in due time. Sasaki tries for a suplex, but Benoit turns it around into a triple German suplex, but Sasaki lands a clothesline on the third attempt. Tombstone piledriver reversed by Benoit who lands one of his own. He goes to the top for the diving headbutt, smashing his head on the shoulder of Sasaki. Cover, but only a two. Benoit takes Sasaki to the corner and lands a pitch perfect frankensteiner off the top. Cover, but Sasaki kicks out at two.

Sasaki catches a boot from Benoit and powerbombs him to the mat. He then follows with an arm bar, but Benoit gets right to the ropes. Benoit reverses a whip and clotheslines Sasaki, but Sasaki hits harder. Snow Plow by Sasaki for the win and the retain.  A good hard fought match, lots of good back and forth for both men. Again, I cringe at every head bump Benoit takes in hindsight, but I enjoyed this being a pure strong style match.


Gene is back again with The Dungeon of Doom (with Jimmy Hart yet again!).  Sullivan says that the Dungeon will take no prisoners. The Giant is the uncrowned champion as Hogan chants rain down.  Hart calls Sting, Savage and Hogan "The three stooges" and says that despite Hogan wearing red and yellow, they aren't going to run and hide. Sullivan says that it doesn't matter who wins tonight because the Dungeon will prevail. Giant says that it will come down between him and Hogan and he will throw Hogan right back to Venice Beach. Roses are red, violets are blue, and he's gonna kick his butt to Kalamazoo. Good promo until the poetry cheese by the end.


After a video package from the upcoming Randy Savage/Lex Luger match, we go to Mean Gene yet again with Randy Savage."What it is is what it is" says a jittery Randy Savage (it's part of his charm). Luger is going to find out that Savage is the total package. Gene talks about the arm injury (which didn't Hogan already disprove because of the 'Rag sheet'?). Savage is still confident about his chances despite. He heads to the ring for his match with Luger.


Savage sneak attacks Lex and throws him into the buckles (complete with Luger overyelling). He chokes Luger on the ropes, chokes him with his boot and continues laying in some strikes. Luger gets a boot out of the corner, but Savage ducks a clothesline, landing one of his own. Savage locks in a boston crab, but Luger gets the ropes in time. Savage takes Luger to the outside and rams him head first into the steel guardrail.

Savage brings him back in and slams him. He goes for the elbow, but Jimmy Hart distracts the referee. Savage connects with the elbow, but the ref is still distracted. Savage throws Luger to the outside as Hart dives out of the way. More ramming into the guardrail from Savage to Luger. Luger reverses a whip, sending Savage back first into one of the ring aprons. Luger locks a torture rack on the outside of hte ring as the referee counts. Luger gets back in, and rolls back out. He throws Savage back in and locks in an arm bar to the bad arm. Savage is knocked out, so the referee gives the win to Luger, who refuses to let go.


Sting runs in and talks to Luger, who lets go of the lock and just walks away, ending a match that was more of an angle than an actual competitive match. Basic Savage stuff and plenty of wacky Luger yelling. In the end, it does the job of continuing this weird Sting/Luger story. 


Up next, it's Sting taking on Ric Flair. This feud escalated back at Halloween Havoc when Sting, like the idiot he is, trusted Flair and tagged with him against Pillman and Anderson. So it's no shock that Flair would turn on him. On the "fans call the shots" Nitro, Flair and Sting faced off in the main event. Sting would win with the scorpion death lock, and refused to break the hold in a moment akin to Bret Hart and Jerry Lawler back at Summerslam '93.

Flair goes for a punch, but Sting comes back with a strike of his own. Flair runs out and heads to ring two, so Sting follows and lays in a couple more strikes and a press slam. Flair begs off Sting and hits a thumb to the eye. He lands some strikes and some patented Flair chops in the corner, even pulling off a strut as his confidence grows. But Sting comes back with a clothesline and ten corner punches. Beal toss and a dropkick send Flair out of the ring and into ring three.


Colonel Parker and Sherri show up suddenly. Back in ring three, Sting no-sells some chops and then pummels Flair with punches and boots. Clothesline to the outside by Sting. Flair starts to retreat up the ramp, but changes his mind and returns to the ring. He tries to take down Sting with hair pulls, but Sting goes right back up. More no-selling of the chops and another press slam from the Stinger that sends Flair in retreat to ring one. He throws Sting to the barricade, but Sting avoids it. He tries to splash Flair, but Flair avoids, causing Sting to crash and burn. Flair tries to use a steel chair, but the referee takes it away from him, so Flair just thumbs the eye of the Stinger instead.

Sting no-sells another chop and chokes Flair, but Flair hits a blatant low blow that surprisingly doesn't yield a disqualification. Flair continues to kick him down and whips Sting hard into the buckle. Knee drop by Flair who then struts in confidence. He begins to kick at the leg of Sting. He then throws Sting over the top rope and continues to attack him on the outside (chops, kicks to the knee, raking Sting's eyes over the apron). He brings Sting back into the ring and lands a Chop block and begins ripping at the face. Back suplex from Flair who then goes for the figure four, locking it in. Sting begins to no-sell it and turns the hold around, forcing the break.


 Sting goes for a backslide, covering for two. Flair goes to shove the ref, but the ref shoves him instead. Sting no-sells another chop as Flair runs away to another ring. Press slam and clotheslines from Sting, but Flair is quick with the thumb to the eye. Flair goes up to the top buckle, but gets thrown off. Corner punches by Sting is turned into an atomic drop by Flair, which Sting no-sells. Superplex by Sting turned into the scorpion death lock, which gets the win for Sting.
A solid match. A bit too much no-selling for my tastes, but other than that, both men looked good. Top notch heel work by Flair and Sting played the role of someone wanting revenge for last month perfectly. I think I liked their match from Nitro a few weeks ago better, but this was still a great PPV match.


Mean Gene is with Hogan-senpai yet again. Fee Fi Fo Fum, he smells the stench of the stinky Giant. But his focus is to take back the title that never should have left him in the first place. He says that friendship aside, Sting and Savage are marked men because he'll rip and tear his way to the WCW title. Hulkamaniacs, pythons, red and yellow, brother, brother, brother, brother.


We see the WCW title that, despite being in the hands of the Giant and vacated, the name plate still reads "Hulk Hogan". The world, like I said, revolves around Hogan-Senpai.


It's time for World War 3. 60 men, three rings, three monsters, three... announce teams? We have Schiavone and Heenan, Chris Cruise and Larry Zybysko and Dusty Rhodes and Eric Bischoff. We see the ring being filled with the sixty men in this match up. This includes the three giants which are the titular Giant, the Yeti (no longer a mummy but a Ninja, because it's the 90's and ninjas are everywhere. Hell, the Power Rangers were even Ninjas at this point), and the biggest man of them all, Hulk Hogan. The size of his ego makes up for the extra height.



So, here's the thing. If this was like the Royal Rumble, or a more simplistic battle royal, I'd be able to call this match spot for spot, elimination for elimination. But WCW chose instead to make this feel as complicated as possible. 20 men in three rings with It being hard to tell what's going on at certain times. From zoomed out camera angles, commentators switching around, it being hard to tell which camera is focusing on what ring at certain times and just a sense of complete confusion, I'm going to do something which may feel lazy, but at the end of the day is something that will save my own sanity. When the remaining men converge to the final ring, that's where we'll begin our recapping.


After a while we come down to the final thirty men who enter ring one. Among the names are Eddie Guerrero,  DDP, Hogan, Savage, Sting, Flair, Luger, Giant, Hawk, Arn, Kurosawa and more. It's still a fracas as wrestlers are on the outside brawling, or being thrown through the ropes, still making it hard to tell who is actually eliminated. Bubba Boss Man is eliminated, and then throws out Hacksaw. Dave Taylor and Disco Inferno are also out. Hogan throws out Booker and Jerry Saggs. Hogan throws out Sullivan. Meanwhile, Savage and Luger are brawling around the rings.

Steven Regal is next to be eliminated. DDP and Johnny B. Badd eliminate themselves as Pitbull Pittman is next to go. Chris Benoit is thrown out after that as 16 men remain. Kurosawa is gone, followed by Meng. Zodiac is eliminated by Pillman and Hugh Morris is eliminated by Kensuke Sasaki. Pillman is eliminated followed by Hawk and Sasaki. Mr. Wonderful is the next to go as we're down to nine men left. Despite a valiant effort, Eddie Guerrero is next to go, eliminated by Arn.  Arn gets knocked into Flair who goes over the top rope, then Arn is soundly thrown out by Hogan. Luger and Sting try to eliminate the Giant, but Hogan dumps all three out. Giant pulls Hogan through the bottom rope and the two brawl as back in the ring, Savage eliminates One Man Gang off camera. Savage wins the WCW title, and we don't even get to see this great moment.


And to make this moment worse, we don't even get to celebrate Savage's first title win as Hogan begins to cry and moan that he was never eliminated, which to be fair to Hogan, was a fact. But yeah, this is just despicable. Despite Hogan's complaints, Savage is still awarded the title. He still goes about how he was screwed. Savage says that he values Hogan's opinion, but he lives by what it is is what it is. He asks to respect what happens, but Hogan still goes about asking "did you all see me go under?" to mostly apathy at this point. Hogan says that since he didn't go over the top rope, we'll have to settle this on Nitro tomorrow night.

An absolute mess of a battle royal. Too cluttered, too hard to pay attention on, lacking any really amazing moments, and perhaps one of the stupidest endings I've seen for any wrestling matches ever. It taints Savage's first WCW title run, makes zero sense with how Hogan  was blatantly thrown out under the ropes, and we have to spend ten minutes of Hogan pissing and moaning instead of giving us a definitive win for once. And this whole main event feels like a lame thirty dollar commercial for the next episode of Nitro. Yeck.

And that's WCW World War 3. I'll go with what I liked first. I thought Badd and DDP was a solid opener, better than their last outing. I enjoyed Benoit vs Sasaki, the chaotic women's tag match and Sting vs Flair. The taped fist match was okay and worked for the brawl it intended to be. Savage and Luger was more angle than match, so I was fine with that too. But that battle royal. Woof. Too unfocused, too chaotic, and one of the worst endings I've ever seen. What should be Savage's crowning moment in WCW turned into Hulk Hogan doing what he does best, making it all about himself. Just an absolute flop of a match in all categories. In the end, it's bad enough to bog down my final rating by quite a bit as World War 3 ends up with a C rating. Hogan's a massive C, I can definitely tell you that, so maybe it's fitting enough. 

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