It's the second anniversary of Monday Night Raw. Yes, this blog has officially run through two whole years of Tatanka matches and clown antics. This is what my life has become. Nonetheless Raw is in Houston, Texas for its next set of tapings with Vince McMahon and Shawn Michaels at ringside. In action tonight includes the debut of Hakushi, Razor Ramon vs Owen Hart for the Intercontinental title, and the match of the century, baby. It's Howard Finkel vs Harvey Whippleman in a tuxedo match. You know, this show had matches like Bret Hart vs the 1-2-3 Kid and Mr. Perfect vs Ric Flair, but THIS is the way to say "what a great two years it's been". Man, 1995 is already getting weird.
Also tonight, it's the King's Court with, of all people, Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. Well the kids have to learn about TekWar sooner or later. In a prerecorded segment, Shatner calls the King's Court the home of the whopper. He's here to promote TekWar, not to wrestle.
Opening action tonight, it's Razor Ramon defending the Intercontinental Championship against Owen Hart. Owen snatches the championship and poses with it, but eats a clothesline from Razor to get action started. Razor tries to bash Owen with the belt, but gets stopped, so he hits a big back body drop and another clothesline, sending Owen tumbling. Owen guillotines Razor on the rope and goes to the top turnbuckle, only to be tossed off. Owen gets whipped hard into the buckle twice. Cover by Razor for a two count.
Owen, whips Razor to the buckle, but misses an attack, sending him landing shoulder first. Razor locks in a top wristlock, working in some wringers and bars, paintbrushing the back of Owen's head. After a couple minutes or wringers, Owen turns things around, but gets quickly hit with a hard punch to the jaw. Cover by Razor only gets two. Owen escapes a hammerlock and hits a hard slap, but his running attack gets him caught in a fallaway slam. Razor signals for the Razor's Edge, but Owen back tosses him over the top rope.
Owen lands a suicide dive through the ropes to Razor on the outside. He follows in the ring with a cross body off the top, which Razor reverses into a cover for two as we go to break. When we come back, Owen whips Razor hard into the buckles and hits a big enziguri to the back of the head. He follows with dropping his body across the neck of Razor. Cover gets a two due to Razor's foot on the rope. Razor lands some hard rights, but Owen comes back with a spin kick for a two count. Owen locks in a chinlock for about a minute until Razor breaks free, only to get hit with a cross body for a two count.
Owen lands a backbreaker, covering for two. Owen follows with slapping a sleeper hold to Razor. Razor recovers with a back suplex. Slow cover for two. Razor follows with some hard rights, taking down OwenOwen tries a hiptoss, but gets caught into a chokeslam. Razor tries a back superplex, but Owen turns it into a back suplex, sending Razor into the ropes. Missile dropkick from Owen, who follows with a sharpshooter.
But Bret shows up and attacks Owen, causing a disqualification. Some justice for Owen costing Bret the title at Survivor Series. Bret gets some strikes to Owen, but Jeff Jarrett and the Roadie come out and attack Razor and Bret. Razor comes back and both faces take out Jarrett. The roadie tries to keep Jarrett from getting further involved.
I enjoyed this match. While it had its share of rest holds, it also provided lots of exciting offense and near falls. And while I understand the need for the DQ ending, I'm just really starting to get fatigue of all these openers ending on either a DQ or a count out. It feels like a dog's age at this point where a Raw opener has just ended on a pinfall or a submission.
Todd Pettengill is here with our weekly Royal Rumble Report. Nothing has really been changed since the last week's cards. We do get a prerecorded video of Diesel saying that he hopes that Bret is 100% at the Royal Rumble.
After some comments from Jerry Lawler claiming that Shatner better behave, it's time for the Monday Night Raw debut of Hakushi. Already you can hear idiots with USA chants. Accompanied by his manager Shinja, he's covered from head to torso with kanji tattoos. it's a really unique look that I like. Hakushi is also better known as Jinsei Shinzaki, and prior to his WWF run, worked for the likes of Universal Lucha Libre and Michinoku Pro Wrestling. Also, Hakushi's theme is amazing. Very somber sounding, almost unfitting for a wrestling product, but you can't help but enjoy it.
Hakushi's opponent is an unbroken Matt Hardy. Hakushi gets a cheap strike early on, and goes for a whip, but Matt gets a back flip, only to eat a strike and some chops. Hakushi avoids a whip, gets a backflip and a kick to the face. He follows with a run to the top rope and a flying shoulder block. Suplex by Hakushi. He goes to the apron (nearly slips off), and hits a splash over the ropes for a three. A solid debut squash, and compared to Kwang, he's far more interesting in his varied offense. I'm already a fan.
It's time for the King's Court. His guest was supposed to be Bret Hart so he could mock his jurassic park parents, but Bret brought in William Shatner instead. He was Captain Kirk from Star Trek, he was T.J Hooker, he was... um... that guy from Rescue 911. He introduces William Shatner to a middling reaction. Lawler does a hard sell for TekWar, but says that Shatner's crowning achievement is that he's a guest on the King's Court. Shatner says that he's been impressed a lot, but this is not impressive. Chewing gum was more thrilling than facing Lawler.
Lawler begins to poke Shatner, which begins to raise the ire of Shatner. "This may be the home of the whopper, but don't touch me" states Shatner. Lawler calls the people idiots, to which Shatner says that this is our audience. These are the people who watch TekWar. Lawler says he'll send him where no man's gone before with his fist, but Shatner gets a hammer lock on Lawler. Lawler, goes to attack Shatner...
But Shatner pulls out a freaking Monkey flip!
Bret celebrates with Shatner as Jarrett and the Roadie try to keep Lawler at bay. Overall, one of the best King's Courts so far. Biggest problem is that this was a really rough ad for TekWar, a show that really never got strong critical reception or the best ratings, only hobbling to two seasons. That aside, I enjoyed Shatner's back and forth with Lawler and compared to the more basic King's Court, this at least felt like more than just bland interview time for people.
King Kong Bundy is next against Gary Sabaugh. Boot and some clubbing blows. Hard whip and a splash in the corner for three. No, seriously. I didn't miss a damn thing in writing. That literally was how fast it went. Bundy jaw jacks Shawn Michaels as he and Ted Dibiase make their leave.
The Bushwhackers are screaming at Howard Finkel as we get ready for our main event, a tuxedo match between him and Harvey Whippleman. The rules of a tuxedo match is to simply strip the other to their undies. Yes, this is going to be painful.
As Finkel enters the ring, Harvey goes for the attack, but Finkel takes him down, already ripping at his shirt. He tanks the jacket, sending Harvey out of the ring. When he gets back in, Finkel is pulling at the cummerbund, and follows by yanking the shirt off Harvey, all while you can see Howard's underwear with a big RAW logo plastered on the back. Same with Harvey.
Finkel has now lost his pants, but Harvey still has his on for the most part as both of these men continue to writhe on the ground, undressing each other. And you wonder why wrestling gets the gay jokes that it does. Both men continue to writhe as Finkel is stripped down to his cummerbund and bow tie. Harvey thinks he won and goes to the top, but Finkel takes him down, pulls off the pants and wins the match.
to sum that match up easily...
To give it more context, that was bad. Not even bad with some good comedy. It's just two non wrestlers writhing on the mat like goofs pulling their shirts and pants down. It wasn't even a fun sit with interesting ways for them to do so, it's just writhing around and pulling clothes off. Hey, 1995, I hope you get a little better than this because this is easily front runner for worst match. And I know it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but for about a month of this feud with Harvey and Howard, this is the best you could come up with? Shame shame guys.
Raw ends as Jeff Jarrett shows up. next week will feature Bret Hart vs Jeff Jarrett with The Roadie in Jarrett's corner and William Shatner in Bret's corner. Jarrett promises that he'll send Bret back to Calgary and back in hibernation.
This was, for the most part, not too bad a Raw. Owen Hart vs Razor Ramon was a good match with great back and forth, though another big match ending on a DQ is beginning to grate. I really enjoyed William Shatner on the King's Court, even if the end goal was just to shill his show. Hakushi was impressive in his Raw debut and Bundy's squash was laughably short. But... then we had the tuxedo match which just really wasn't very good, even in a comedy match stand point. Just one of the worst things I've seen since starting this blog, and that's even when you realize I covered the Four Doinks Match. That massive issue aside, this Raw is still worthy of a B rating.
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