It's September 12th, 1994 and the WWF is back from a week break. Mainly due to be bumped the week prior for tennis. We're still reeling from the events of Summerslam 1994 as the real Undertaker is back in action tonight against Kwang. Plus a new King's Court with... Doink and Dink? Oh dear god this is going to be death. Plus the tag team champs Shawn and Diesel will be in action. Match cards now have updated graphics, which is a nice touch, though Raw hasn't changed its set just yet.
Opening action tonight is Kwang (with Harvey Whippleman) vs The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer). Kwang tries a sneak attack, but gets a boot for his troubles and a ram face first into the buckle. Taker tries a chop, but Kwang gets in a chop, which Taker no sells. Taker gets in a big body slam. He tries an elbow, but Kwang avoids. Taker sits up immediately, only to eat a kick to the face, sending him over the ropes. Kwang lands chops and headbutts on the apron, but Taker sends Kwang throat first into the ropes.
Taker goes up for the old school landing his big forearm off the rope to the back of the neck of Kwang. Taker goes for a boot, but Kwang rolls out of the way, causing him to trip and giving Kwang a chance to baseball slide him out of the ring. When we return from break, it's more headbutts and chops from Kwang. Taker gets some shots of his own, only to get another kick and a clothesline over the ropes. But Taker no-sells, getting back in and choking Kwang. With the ref distracted, Kwang spews green mist, but Taker spits it right back. He lands a chokeslam for the three count.
Pretty basic affair from both men. Kwang with nothing but chops, headbutts and kicks. And Taker no-selling moves and doing nothing but punches and basic moves. But then again, Taker from this era was never so much about the in-ring quality as it was for the spectacle.
Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart is in action next against Tim McMeany. Anvil gets in a cheap shot early on in the corner with strikes over the head followed by a big beal toss. Loud "We Want Bret" chants from the crowd. Big body slam from Anvil as he yells at McMeany. He tosses McMeany out of the ring to let Owen jaw jack him. Anvil brings him back in with a hard clubbing blow followed by some stomps and a ram into the buckle. He pulls him by the hair and slams him to the mat followed by more stomps. Anvil lands a big back body drop. A few more clubbing blows and a hard ram into the buckle. Powerslam and a camel clutch to finish a long and boring squash.
We recap the previous weekend's Superstars as Jerry Lawler popped all of Dink's balloons. Any abuse on Dink is always welcome. This leads us to the King's Court. Lawler has a note from Jack Tunney that he is forced to apologize for his balloon poppery. Lawler invites both Doink and Dink. Dink is wearing a Burger King crown. It's been a while since we've had a Burger King reference.
Both men engage in size and clothes jokes for a few minutes until Doink gets to the point of wanting his apology. Since Lawler refuses, Doink says he brought him a present. A giant box is being brought to the ring, but Lawler is skeptical telling them to bring it back. Doink offers opening it as Lawler moves out of the way. The two open the box, revealing a trash can, reminding Lawler of his past issues with Duke "The Dumpster" Droese and Lawler's match next week. Lawler kicks the can (literally), but hurts his foot. Turns out there were 25 pound weights inside. Doink and Dink laugh as they exit. Not a horrible segment, but I still can't stand face Doink and Dink.
The WWF Tag Team champions Shawn Michaels and Diesel are in action next against Devito and Van Dale. Side headlock from Michaels followed by some dodging and a big slap to the face. Michaels runs around the ring, causing Devito to be caught by Diesel, letting Shawn get a cheap shot. Tag to Diesel who lands a big elbow to the face followed by several in the corner. He throws Devito into the boot of Shawn and tags Shawn back in. Vince says that the tag titles are out being "steamed clean", AKA "this show was taped before they won the belts".
Shawn places Devito in a chinlock, until Devito breaks out and gets some shots to the face. Tag to Van Dale who gets hit with a neckbreaker. Hard vertical suplex from Shawn who tags in Diesel who lands a big sidewalk slam. Irish whip and a big boot to the face from Diesel. Diesel hits the jacknife powerbomb, tags in Shawn, who splashes off Diesel's shoulders for the three in a by the numbers squash.
Up next is Adam Bomb in action against Duane Gill. We get a recap from Superstars the previous week as both Adam Bomb and Bam Bam Bigelow brawled on Superstars. Goggles, Kool-Aid tongue, irradiated eyes, and now babyface blues in his gear and rockin' babyface music.
Adam starts with a big shove to Gill. Gill locks a headlock, but gets met with a shoulder block. Several dodges by Adam who follows with a hiptoss and a body slam. Gill gets in some corner stomps and a ram to he buckle. Adam revereses a whip and lands a back body drop. He hits a dropkick and a sidewalk slam. Gill ducks a clothesline, but Adam Bomb ducks a cross body by Gill. Shoulder block over the ropes from Adam Bomb who then finishes off Duane Gill with a pumphandle slam for three in a decent squash. Definitely an improvement over the past year.
Our last match of the show is the friggin' Bushwhackers against Bert Centano and Barry Hardy. Hardy and Centano get cheap shots on Butch, but Butch reverses a whip and gets a rake to the face while Luke gets a cheap shot to the gut. Meanwhile, Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz is still in the crowd on strike. Luke and Butch get a double clothesline to Centano. USA Shill of the week: Incident at Deception Ridge. Ed Begley Jr. (or Bagley as Savage calls it) getting a mention on Raw.
Hardy tries to stomp Butch while he's on top of Centano, but gets caught. He then gets clotheslined by Luke, as Butch covers both men and Luke tries to make the three count. Referee Earl Hebner stops him, only to get licked by Luke. I hate the Bushwhackers. After some awful offense from Butch, the Bushwhackers hit a battering ram for the three in an awful, awful comedy match.
This was a bland edition of Raw. Overrun from the pre-Summerslam tapings with very little bearing to the big storylines going on after the show. None of the matches were very good, not even the Shawn/Diesel squash. And the King's Court was okay, but nothing amazing, mainly having a lot to do with the awfulness of Doink and Dink. I do like some of the new look to the show with the new match cards and whatnot, but that's the only positive I can give to a D edition of Monday Night Raw.
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