Back in Poughkeepsie's Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Raw kicks off immediately with in ring action. It's a rematch between the "Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase and the 1-2-3 Kid. It was Dibiase's hubris on Wrestling Challenge weeks prior that cost him the win. Neither IRS or Razor Ramon are allowed at ringside. The kid takes his time to get in the ring as the crowd chants "123" at Dibiase. Upon entering, Dibiase lays in some shots in the corner and smacks the kid head first into the buckle. Irish whip and a knee to the gut by Dibiase sends the kid out of the ring to catch his breath.
Razor Ramon is available on the phone while Dibiase gets a whip and an elbow. Razor is now on the kid's side, you know, despite stealing his money and all. I guess thieves respect other thieves. The kid rolls out of the ring again to catch his breath. More elbows and fists by Dibiase as the Kid enters the ring, following with a hard slam into the corner. Another hard whip to the buckle sends the Kid out of the ring. Dibiase chases him back in and the kid gets a sloppy flying head scissors for a two. Dropkick for another two as Dibiase kicks out. Dibiase coutners with an elbow in the corner and stomps down the kid.
"Razor" chants from the crowd as Dibiase whips the kid into the corner, but misses with a shoulder block. The kid goes up top and gets a cross body for the two. He goes back up as IRS shoves him off for the DQ. He elbows and stomps the kid as Dibiase follows suit. The Steiner brothers make the save and send Money Inc out of the ring. Definitely not a good match as neither Dibiase or the kid's styles match too well.
Up next is the Headshrinkers in action. Jobbers of the week are Mike Khoury and Dave Muraldo. Vince brings up how this Raw coincides with the anniversary of Elvis Presley's death, which Heenan tells us that after the RIP match at Summerslam, the Undertaker could meet Elvis. Considering Taker's a seemingly literal dead man to begin with, wouldn't he have already met Elvis? Perhaps he even made the coffin for the king, who knows?
Both Shrinkers attack their opponents early and toss out Muraldo. Samu starts actual action with a hard savate kick. He rolls the limp corpse of Muraldo and brings in Khoury with a toss. Tag to Fatu as both men get a double punch to the gut followed by a flapjack. Muraldo is still out cold fromthe kick as Khoury gets headbutted. Tag to Samu as both men hit a double facebuster on Khoury. He sends Khoury into the rope as Fatu adds some more weight. Splash by Fatu on the non-legal partner (since Muraldo is still motionless) for the three. A great squash match.
It's the Summerslam report with Mean Gene Okerlund, who is so tanned that he almost looks like a Cadbury Creme egg that's gained sentience. We're recapped of the card as Luger gets one shot only against Yokozuna for the WWF championship. Bret Hart will take on Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Undertaker will face Giant Gonzalez in a "Rest in Peace" Match. In Intercontinental championship aciton, Shawn Michaels will face Mr. Perfect, The steiners will face the Heavenly Bodies for the tag titles, and the newcomer Ludwig Borga will face Marty Jannetty. All in all, a decent sounding card on paper. But when we get to it, well... just wait and see.
Following that we get a beautiful from crotch upwards shot of Bastion Booger enjoying a WWF ice cream bar. Up next it's Bastion Booger taking on Marty Jannetty. His S&M gear looking all the more filthy by the week. Marty comes to the ring to a great reaction from the crowd. VInce somehow turns talk about Marty's armbands into a seque about Lex Luger because only Luger can be a true american.
Marty manages to get out of a test of strength and get Booger into the corner, and does so a second time. Springboard cross body by Marty for a two. Hiptosses by Marty followed by a dropkick that sends Booger out of the ring, but Marty heads to the top turnbuckle and hits a clothesline. He follows with a plancha to the outside. Booger gets back in the ring as Marty drags him int the corner and slams his arm into the post a couple times as we go to break.
Booger tosses Marty out of the ring as we return, but Marty drags him out and smacks him into the apron. However Booger tosses Marty hard into the post. Big splash into the post by Booger as Marty hits his head hard. Back in the ring, Booger lands a big back body drop and follows with a clubbing blow to the back. A second back drop is turned into a sunset flip, but Booger sits on him for a two. Marty then manages to roll Booger over for a three count. An okay big man vs little man match. Shaw's not a horrible worker all things considered. He's just been sideled with one bad gimmick after another.
Vince is in the ring to interview Money Inc. Ted didn't even dress up post-match since he's still irate over the actions earlier in the show. IRS tells the tax cheats that the 123 Kid only got a taste of what's to come. Dibiase hopes that Razor was watching his action searlier as he promises it'll be worse for him at Summerslam. Vince brings up the fact that the Steiners will face Money Inc in a cage match the following Sunday on the Summerslam Spectacular special (which won't be reviewed here since it's not on the Network), and Money Inc promises victory, and IRS even promises the Steiners will go to Summerlen-Summerslam as losers.
Men on a Mission are in action next taking on Iron Mike Sharpe and Barry Horowitz. Mo and Barry start the match.I think Mabel got confused what corner he was supposed to be in early on. Back body drop by Mo as he tags in Mabel and lands a drop toe hold/leg drop combo. Vince shills Outrageous Fortune as Mike Sharpe gets a double elbow by MOM. Because honestly I'd rather be watching Shelly Long and Bette Midler right now. Mo tags back in Mabel who gets a big splashing charge in the corner. Slam by Mabel followed by a double splash for the three. An okay splash, but I still cannot care for either Mabel or Mo.
Another Luger interview package about drugs and sports. Dull as dirt to listen to. Still has the wacky transitions and effects. Honestly trying to make Luger some real person just somehow manages to make him even more boring than anyone ever conceived. I get that Lex is no Hogan in terms of energy and charisma, but good god he's a walking sedative.
It's main event time as Bam Bam Bigelow takes on Rich Myers. His "Main Squeeze" Luna Vachon leads him to the ring. Rich Myers has a wonderful mullet. Luna spits at Myers before the match starts. When the bell rings, a headlock attempt by Myers is turned into a back suplex by Bam Bam. Hard shoulder block followed by two stomps.Big charge in the corner by Bam Bam who follows with more stomps. Hard headbutt to the back as Bam Bam yells at the crowd. Stalling vertical suplex followed by a body slam and a diving headbutt for the three in a dull squash for Bam Bam.
Throughout the night, Macho Man has been promising a big surprise. Big, not really, as it's the Macho Midget and his bevy of beauties. Not exactly a groundbreaking thing, but it could be a weirder way to end Raw. Vince closes the show running down the Summerslam Spectacular card as he loses his voice and warbles his way through it.
Not a horrible Raw, but a very uneventful edition. The Dibiase/Kid match was dull, the Bam Bam squash was forgettable, and Marty vs Bastion Booger was okay but nothing amazing in itself. The best thing in my opinion was the Squash with the Headshrinkers. So it gets a C. But now we have no more Raw episodes to cover before Summerslam. And since we're not covering the Summerslam spectacular it means that it's on to the main event next. When next we meet it's the 1993 Summerslam. Will Luger win the gold for America? Will Bret Hart get vengeance on Jerry Lawler? Will the Undertaker finally make Giant Gonzalez rest in peace? Will it be a good pay per view? There's only one way to find out, and that's by joining us in the next Raw review.