Sonic Underground

A crappy toon. Migrane awaits
Watching this show is a deadly fate.
Give up enjoyment, separate
Bide your time, then release your hate

Sonic Undergrooound
Sonic Undergrooound
You do not know
How much I hate this show!

Dic: 1997

Well boys and girls, I've reviewed plenty a stinker here so far.  But no animated idiocy have I had the want to finally rip on more than one cartoon. A toon I despise so much, it was originally planned to be the very first tooncrap induction all the way back in 2007. Our induction du jour is not just a crappy cartoon, but the cartoon that changed essentially how I felt about something I cared about as a kid. That cartoon is none other than Sonic Underground. The ultimate example by Dic that the 3rd time is indeed not the charm. But before we get too far into the hate (and lord knows this is gonna go into petty little rant territory pretty damn quickly), let's take a look at Sonic's history, and how he got to this point.



Sonic made his debut in 1991 on the Sega Genesis, and upon his debut became a smash hit. He was the opposite of Mario. He was fast, had an attitude, and was a furry (You'd thinkt that last one wouldn't matter, but trust me it actually does). The plucky blue hedgehog would see several video games released as the years went by, and each one would be a huge success.

And what have I said about successes? Yep, almost every major success has a tv show of some sort. And Sonic was a lucky duck... Err, hedgehog. In 1993, he had 2.



The first was "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog". Of all the sonic adaptations, this one is by far the zaniest. The essential plot is the same as the games, with Sonic and Tails facing off with the evil Dr. Robotnik. But this one goes for a more Looney Tunes-esque feel. I wouldn't call the animation, or backgrounds stuff of excellence, but it works. The voice acting is solid. From Jaleel "Steve Urkel" White as Sonic, to the late great Long John Baldry as Dr. Ivo Rrrrrrobotnik. While it's not perfect, it is a great cartoon.

Around 1993 was also when I first became a Sonic Fan. Not from the games, or "adventures", it all started with this...



Yep, it all started with the Sonic The Hedgehog comic books from Archie comics. The mix of humor, and action was enough to hook me into the franchise, as well as make my decision between the Super Nintendo or the Sega Genesis that corresponding Christmas. The comics told of Sonic, as he helped a group of freedom fighters put a stop to Robotnik. It was so good that I had hoped for a cartoon that was based in this Sonic universe. It's funny how things happen, because in the fall of 1993, one of my favorite cartoons, nay, favorite tv shows ever made it's debut on ABC.



Sonic the Hedgehog (Or Sonic SATAM as it's affectionately titled) Is a cartoon that honestly, can do no wrong in my eyes. It perfectly blended action, humour, adventure, and wasn't afraid to be dark. The animation is some of the best that has ever come from a Dic toon. The music is excellent (though you can tell it borrows from several more successful franchises like Back to the Future). And you couldn't ask for a bigger all star cast. Jaleel White once again reprises the role of Sonic, but now you have the likes of Rob Paulsen, Kath Soucie, Christine Cavanaugh, Cree Summer, Charles Adler, and Jim Cummings as perhaps the most badass Robotnik ever.

And of course, one of the most badass theme songs EVER!

With so much good, what could possibly go wrong?

*sigh*

Well, in 1995, after only 2 seasons, the show was cancelled. Some say it had to do with the success of Power Rangers, others believe it had to do with the ABC/Disney merger, and how only a year or so later, Disney's 1 Saturday Morning made it's debut. Nobody knows. But the fact the show got canned wasn't what pissed me off. the fact that the show ended on one hell of a cliffhanger. If that doesn't make you salivate for a 3rd season, nothing could.

So, the lack of my favorite cartoon was a drag, but at least there was still the Sonic comics, which stayed in the SatamVerse, as well as being it's on universe. But the hunger for another Sonic cartoon was always there. And that's where the Induction Du Jour comes in. Back in 1997, I remember seeing pictures and info of a new Sonic cartoon. Based in a somewhat similar universe as Satam. That cartoon was Sonic Underground. And eventually, the show made it's debut on Teletoon. So, I got ready to watch, and was prepared for fun...

And what I got was a letdown beyond letdowns.

Lackluster plot, mediocre voice acting, and the worst offender.... horrid songs. All are what dwelled within. Hell, even worse than the Donkey Kong Country cartoon I inducted last month. This wasn't the Sonic I had hoped for, and now it's time to dissect just why.

So, enough with the history lesson, let's dive into the underground. Let's review this thing.


Before we really get into my hate, let's start with perhaps the only redeeming thing about this show. It's theme song. While not as epic as SATAM, it actually is a really epic theme, mixed with great animation, and enough exposition to the plot for anyone coming into the show for the first time. Bravo to the guys at Dic for another classic song.

Now that that's over with, let's get started. Let's review the three part pilot.





We start our tale in the past, before Mobotropolis became Robotropolis. But that is until Dr. Robotnik showed up, and changed things for his better (With his giant floating Sega 32X that for some reason kills everything under it). Robotropolis is now run by the aristocrats (sadly not the family at the talent agency), as the lower level scum are roboticized.Queen Alina, under the advice of the Oracle of Delphius...


Who looks like a diseased alligator/anteater/thing....

is told to seperate with her three children, under the assurance that they will reunite and become the council of four. So, she gives up her kids. Sonia, the female of the three ends up with a pair of aristocrats. Manik, the green one, ends up stolen by a thief. And sonic ends up with a middle class family. Each learning specific traits. Manik becomes a master thief, Sonia more prim, proper, yet energetic, and Sonic as a speed obsessed retard. However, soon Sonic's family gets captured by Robotnik, causing him to have to find uncle Chuck (AKA the only SATAM centric character in this series). Wh for some reason sounds extremely Southern, and says Sonny after every damn sentence. Cut to a few more years later, as Sonic and Uncle chuck try to take out a forcefield created by Robotnik. However, Sonic's fast enough to get through the forcefield, and easily blows it up. Te experience tires out Sonic, as Uncle Chuck leaves him at home. Only for a blue aura to come in. It's that stupid looking oracle thing. Sonic is unphased at the sight of a glowing anteatigator, and goes back to sleep. But the oracle wakes him up anyway. He makes chili dogs appear and tells Sonic that he's a prince, and has a destiny, yadda yadda.



Robotnik, unhappy at the thought of a blue hedgehog ruining his fun, gets the aid of two bounty hunters named Sleet and Dingo. Essentially your Grounder and Scratch of the series, except a milligram more competent. Sleet is a notorious ass kisser, while Dingo is the more idiotic one, lovesick with Sonia, and later in the series can transform into various objects with the use of a remote. They swear allegience to Robotnik that they'll capture Sonic. Back to Sonic, who now learns he's a sibling. The oracle tells him that he can only find them by singing the song that's in his heart.

ohhhhh god.

This is why I hate this show. The songs are ABYSMAL. The singers are bad. The lyrics are bad, the stock footage and special effects are bad. Everything is so unappealing. I swear it's almost Gilbert Gottfried bad. And the sad thing is, this is the selling point of the show. If I can't enjoy that, then this show hasn't a chance in hell.

So after Sonic's awful song, the medallions on Sonia and Manik's necks react, and it's off to find each other. Meanwhile, back at Robotropolis, Robotnik begins to believe the prophecy is about to go underway, and he shows us a vision of his past, where the oracle warns him of what's going to happen. So, he just blurts out to the main villain that Queen Alina and co. are going to overthrow him? He just pops in while ol' Eggy's sleeping and spills it?


The oracle of Delphius is a douchius.



So, Sonic performs, which catches the attention of Manik and Sonia. Sonia who's with her fiance Bartleby, the "standard Dic vain douche" of the series.

Maybe it's time I got into Sonia's voice. You see, Jaleel White voices all three of the Sonic siblings, which means Sonia being the highest pitch sounds almost exactly like Urkel. Which makes anyone being obsessed with her just seem a bit more funny, and a lot more creepy.

The trio unite, but soon learn from the oracle that their families have been roboticized. And you really couldn't have warned them of this sooner? I know it's a "prophecy", but jeez this guy's a douche.

And to finish up his douchiness, he sends them on a journey to learn about their past, and their powers. The trio of hogs go hand in hand, as they begin their journey. End of part 1.



We start part 2, "Getting to Know You", with Robotnik sending Sleet and Dingo to find our protagonists. Meanwhile our heroes are dealing with Sonia being afraid of mice, and still being a prissy moron. You know, cause she's the female and all. But that's all put to a stop by one of Robotnik's bots, who makes quick work of Sonic and Manik. Sleet sends in Dingo to finish the job, but he ends up getting a tard boner for Sonia, and does nothing. Which leaves time for Sonic and Manik to put a stop to the bot, and the moronic duo. They escape through the sewer, as Sonia continues to complain. However, they forget the map, which conveniently ol' George and Lennie have.



The trio continue trekking through the forest, bickering all the way, as their encountered by a man in a loincloth named furry Triple H... I mean Gondar. He's been sent by the oracle of Douchius to train them. He teaches them how to do moves like a tornado spind and catching rocks. And being the clumsy bunch they are, they fail miserably at it. So, training montage later, it's back to Robotnik, eho uses the map to find our heroes. He once again sends his moronic help to attack. But Gondar counters by using... uh, goo spitting flowers, to take down their ship. He then gives our heroes a teleporting map that sends them to a sky temple.




At the temple, they meet a poor man's Yoda who teaches them about harmony by having them fight a demon dog. They fail tremendously as the monk chews them out. He leaves them, as it's time for, oh god.... Another terrible song. Thankfully, that means the episode is over. Unfortunately this three part pilot is still going on.

Time for our last episode to review, "Harmony or Something".




We open part 3 like we did part 2, with Robotnik chewing out Sleet and Dingo. He decides to give them another chance (considering their success rate so far, I don't see why). Cut to our heroes, who are learning to train in harmony, and using their instrument weapons to defeat a dragon. But they bicker again, causing them to lose their weapons. They head into a castle, and try again. This time they succeed and beat the dragon. The monk then shows them that one of Sonic's resistance friends, Trevor, has been captured by Robotnik. Sonic and crew leave, despite not completing their training. They're teleported into Robotnik's main hideout.



Meanwhile, Sleet and Dingo find the oracle. Our heroes rescue Trevor, then steal one of Robotnik's ships, and head to the oracle's hideout. But ol' cagey Robotnik's one step ahead of them, as he activates the ship's self destruct. But conveniently Manik, being the klepto, stole the master override key, and our heroes escape. They enter a cave, where they see the image of Queen Alina, who reminds them to work together. Which is so much better than "This is where I am, so let's join up and get this prophecy over with, instead of teasing you with this for the next 36 episodes". So, with the oracle in danger, and enemies approaching, it's of course a perfect time for another god damn song. During their maurdering of music, Sleet and Dingo show up, and are quickly defeated. The oracle shows up, and tells them essentially nothing helpful as usual. And the episode ends with Alina and the Oracle talking about the prophecy, and the progress of the trio, instead of, you know, actually getting this war finished before it gets worse. Who cares, it's the end.

A couple other notes before my final thoughts.



They do run into Knuckles, who had never appeared in the other two Dic Sonic toons. Another important thing is that This prophecy never gets fulfilled. Why? Because this show never saw a season 2. I'd feel bad, if I actually gave a damn for this show.

I hate this show. I... I just do. The plot is a lackluster version of SATAM, the characters are far less likable, the voice acting is decent at best (Consideing the whole cast is essentially Jaleel White, Maurice LaMarche, and Gary Chalk), the animation is mediocre at best (though Dic is capable of far worse, and the music, by god the music. How this cartoon got to 40 episodes is beyond me. Maybe I hold SATAM too high on a pedastal, but even without the comparison, the show is just very bad. It's deserving of it's spot as the 50th Tooncrap Induction.

So, with one of the biggest offenders done, now what? What does the future hold for this blog? Well, there's still a plethora of cheapquels to cover, awful shows to review, and horrible cartoon companies to lambast. With that said, as long as there's an animated atrocity out there, this blog will be there to give it the treatment it deserves. This ship has no plans on sinking any time soon.

And speaking of sinking ships....

Madballs: Gross Jokes

Gross Incompetence

Nelvana: 1987

Have you ever read one of those joke books? You know, the ones with the really lame puns. Puns so bad, they wouldn't even be considered funny enough for the back of a Laffy Taffy wrapper? If you've ever wanted a 22 minute cartoon with nothing but that, along with skits so lame, it makes Turn On seem like Rowan & Martin's Laugh In, this is the cartoon for you. Ladies and germs, it's our induction du jour. Madballs: Gross Jokes.



Let's go back to the 80's, shall we? The age when toys weren't just creative, they kicked ass. case in point with the madballs. A series of rubber balls, each with a grotesque character design. The toys were released around the same time that other gross out products were starting to become a hit with kids. From trading cards, like Wacky Packages, and Garbage Pail Kids, to slimy shit like Gak. The madball toys fit in perfectly in this era, and were a huge success.

And like I've said countless times, anything successful has an animated series about it.

Well, in the case of Madballs, there was never a full TV show. Instead, there were two VHS releases.



The first was "Escape from Orb" which was meant to be an animated pilot to an eventual series. The story tells of the Madballs, escaping their planet, which has been taken over by a tyrannical dictator. They land on earth, and become what almost every cartoon character was in the 80's, rock stars. I wouldn't call it the worst thing ever, and I may induct it in the future, but for what it was, it was pretty basic, and not that offending.

However, I guess the video wasn't entirely successful as a 2nd video would be released from Nelvana. Instead of a basic animated series plot, they went the route of an animated variety show, packed with some of the worst jokes ever. The video was called "Gross Jokes". The only thing gross about it, is the rather rotten animation, that mixes between basic animation, and a style that reminds me both of animated Monty Python skits, and the opening to "You can't do that on Television".

So, check your funny bone at the door, and don't worry about your sides splitting. It's time we get to the punchline, as we review this thing.



We open our show with a disclaimer, warning us that the viewing of this video may cause the likes of rapid heartbeat, swelling of the nose, loss of facial hair, etc. What is this, a cartoon or a sleeping pill? The disclaimer warns that "If you're seriously considering a rewarding, challenging career as a lawn ornament, this is the show for YOU!" (what?)


Grosser than a mouth full of brussels sprouts


More tasteless than a cube of tofu


More revolting than mom's latest caserole...

It's Mad Balls Gross Jokes!

Yep, nothing more gross than vegetable humour. We're a minute in folks, it's all down hill from here.



It's time to mee our merry cast of morons. Screaming Meanie, Freakella, Skullface, Dusty, Oculus Orbus, Horn Head, Arrgh (AKA my reaction to this cartoon), and Slobulous.



As well as the host of the show (I think) B.P Bash Brain. Who sounds like Bobcat Golthwait with a head cold. He says that he's never seen anything so gross in his whole life, except for maybe that time at the hospital. Which is our segue to our first skit, "General Malpractice". Oh goody, a General Hospital parody. Even for the 80's that's as fresh as a week old loaf of bread.



We open our skit with Freakella and Screaming Meanie repulsed at the sight of spaghetti, as Dr. Meanie heads to surgery. What follows is about 2 or so minutes of classic one liners, such as:

___
Freakella: Doctor, the invisible man is waiting for you in the waiting room.
Meanie: That's a good place to wait. Tell him I can't see him now.

Skullface: Doctor, I think the patient's about to croak
Meanie: What, does he have a frog in his throat?

Skullface: Uh, doctor, how long can a madball live without a brain?
Meanie: Well, I don't know Skullface. How old are you?
____

*hears shuffling noises*

Ya hear that? I believe that's the sound of the Marx Brothers rolling in their graves.



Next up is some attempt at class with a poetry corner segment. It's about as painfully unfunny as you'd think. Moving on..



To Slobulous and Aargh's "Madball Revue." and another knee slapper...

____
Aargh: Hey Slobulous Man, like what do you call the green stuff between King Kong's toes?
Slob: What?
Aargh: Slow Madball
____

And then King Kong steps on them.



Dimitri and Sviatoslav they ain't.



Next up is a scene at Chez Hornhead. Are ya in the mood for Restaurant Puns? ARE YA??

______

Slobulous: Do you have pig's knuckles?
Aargh: of course, man.
Slobulous: Well, wear gloves, and no one will notice.

Skullface: Hey Dusty, remember the last thing we had here?
Dusty: Yeah. Stomach cramps.
_______

*hears rustling noises*

Ya hear that? I believe that's the sound of Barth rolling in his grave.



"D'AAAAIIIIII heard that!"

Dammit, this thing's got like another 10 minutes left...

Next up after anotther classic Madballs Revue, is a skit that will no doubt be dated the second the 80's comes to a close. Why it's Lifestyles of the Poor and Retched. We learn of Bashbrain and his many massive failures. And of course the narrator doesn't even try a half assed Robin Leach impersonation. From there it's off to the Cemetary for another laff filled skit. Thankfully this segment is short. Sadly though, this cartoon is still going on.



It's madballs around the world next, and oh goody goody gosh, it's a slideshow accompanied with more jokes. Essentially slides of the Madballs heading to some location, destroying it, and lather, rinse, repeat. And this thing goes on for a good 3 minutes. Thank god this is a video and can fast forward. But hold up, because after that is ANOTHER Madballs revue. Oh boy, what's the joke this time gents?

_____
Aargh: Hey Slobulous, like what did the fly say after he hit the windshield of a car going sixty?
Slob: I don't know, what.
Aargh: I haven't the guts to do that again!
_____

Oh god, I don't think I'm gonna survive this...

And from there we get Hornhead, who's upset that he's had the fewest lines in the show so far. And if nothing happens to change that....



Robby here's gonna get upset.

I... Just.... *sigh*. Let's move on....

So, Hornhead gets his wish, and gets to sing. Lovely, this show's already butchered the fine art of comedy, now music too. That's just great. I mean, at least it ain't. No, Screw that, It's worse than that. It just frigging is. Moving on.




Next is a makeover school commercial, which is what you'd expect. Just regular people photoshopped with slobulous' face. as unfunny as you'd expect. From there it's another skit, this time they're all in school, and now we have school related puns. From there it's a game show, "Name That Smell". The answer, if you give a damn, is Hornhead. Finally, after all that, it's the end of the episode as the Gang are stumped with how to end the show. And, they end up in a garbage truck on the way to the dump. The End.

I just.... What can I say? That was the most excrutiating thing I may have inducted yet. Abysmal animation, unlikable characters, not an entertaining segment in the bunch. And most importantly, the jokes just weren't funny. I know this was intended for kids, but this is shit that kids wouldn't laugh at. It's unfunny, unlikable, and detestable garbage that I'm glad never went further than this. This is the image of tooncrap above, and beyond. Hell, I can't think of anything I'd never want to see again more than....

Okay, you know what? For the last like seven or so inductions, I've been getting the message loud and clear. And with the next induction being Induction #50, I can't think of a cartoon show I hate more that I'd rather induct than this piece of crap. Ladies, gents, lovers, haters, and everybody else. Induction 50 is going to be.....



May god have mercy on my sanity.

The Pagemaster

Turn the page, wash your hands. Turn the page, wash your hands.

20th Century Fox: 1994

THere's a good chance that if you were asked who Macauly Culkin was, the first thing that would come to mind is Home Alone. Which is a valid statement, as the rest of his childhood career pretty much went to hell after My Girl. From trying to be scary, yet coming off as an obnoxious tot in The Good Son, to becoming the live action version of well known rich douche Richie Rich. And of course there's the Nutcracker, but the less said about that the better. Culkin had seen his visage in the realm of the animated twice. Once in the short lived NBC toon Wish Kid (which is definitely one I'm planning on inducting soon), and our induction du jour, 1994's "The Pagemaster". A half assed attempt by Fox to excite kids into the world or reading and books. However, with a lackluster plot, horrid special effects, mediocre animation, and an unlikable protagonist, we have a poor story that should've stayed on the shelf.

They say you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, so let's judge it by it's poisoned pages. Let's review this thing.



We open our movie with ominous clouds, as they form the likes of pirate ships, castles, and dragons. Totally not foreshadowing of any kind.



These ominous clouds wake up our pussy protagonist Richard (played by Mac Culkin). Well, either the clouds woke him up, or he had a nightmare about being older and starring in some movie called "Party Monster". He takes his flashlight, and looks around for any ominous apparitions that may be in his room. But he soon gets scared shitless by...



A TREE! OHMYGODAAAARGH!!!

Yep, Richard is what you would called a 'fraidy cat of the highest calibur.



He goes to tell his parents, but overhears his father Alan (Ed Begley Jr.) being extremely dissapointed that he's raised a sissy. The next day, Richard's father is busy building him a tree house (a solar powered one no doubt). He asks Richard to come up with a bag of nails, but being the pussy he is, declines in fear of falling off a ladder. Apparently you can learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder. He opts instead to use a bucket pulley, but that leads to ha-ha larity as he accidentally hits his dad with the bucket, sending him falling. His father, surprisingly not pissed at his son almost killing him, tells Richard to go to the hardware store to buy more nails, while telling him to not live his life through statistics (or in other words "man up you little bitch"). So it's off to the store...



Oh, good lord. The kid is literally a walking "punch me" sign.



After being mocked by some kids (and deservedy so), Rich decides to drive under a tunnel, as a dramatically timed storm hits. He crashes his bike close to a local library, and heads inside. Inside, he runs into the librarian (played by Christopher "middle of my career downfall" Lloyd) who is, being Christopher Lloyd, eccentric as all getouts.



Eccentric, and a little too clingy. Yeesh.

Believing that Rich is in desperate need for fantasy, adventure, horror (Chris Hansen, the police, parents that won't steal his money), and other malarkey, he gives him a library card. Richard, being no doubt a little freaked over Christopher's hamming, tries to tell him that he's not looking for any books, and asks for a phone. Christopher gladly gives him a direction that is obviously not a trap. But on his way, Rich slips on some water, knocking him unconscious. He awakens several hours later in a daze. Well, a daze, and the painted ceiling above him melting into a giant early 90's cgi mess.




The paint chases after our scared hero, and eventually catches him, turning him into....



What else? An animated atrocity.



Now ink and paint, Rich runs into the Pagemaster (Christopher Lloyd again). He shows Rich a bunch of awe inspiring stuff, and then screws with Rich by making him face three tests in order to get home.

The pagemaster is a douche.



And what kind of kids movie would this be if there weren't some comic relief to help Rich on his way? Possibly a better movie? Rich first runs into the swashbuckling book Adventure (Voiced by Patrick Stewart), who almost gets Rich attacked by a giant octopus (Worst tentacle rape hentai ever.). After that near death experience, he runs into Fantasy (voiced by Tooncrap veteran Whoopi Goldberg). And if you've ever wished for a "hate each other now, love each other later" angle with Picard and Guinan, you have it here folks. Enjoy! They both bicker over who Rich is going to check out of the library with, they get chased by the Hound of the Baskervilles, and end up in the Horror section of the library, with a conveniently placed haunted castle. On their way, they meet the brain damaged member of the group, Horror (voiced by Frank "god" Welker). Our band of merry morons assembled, our heroes head into the haunted castle.



Inside, they encounter Dr. Jeckyll (voiced by another Star Trek veteran, Leonard Nimoy). Take a wild guess what's going to happen next.



Yep.

After dealing with Mr. Hyde, they continue on in the horror section, being chased by ghost stories and other whatnot, until they finally escape the castle. But, sadly, this movie is far from over. As now they have to deal with the sea. Our heroes hop aboard a tiny boat, as smooth sailing awaits...



At least until Moby Dick shows up to ruin everything.



After surviving the white whale, Rich and Adventure end up stranded. At least until a rowboat rescues them, and takes them to a pirate ship, helmed by none other than legendary pirate, and name of a restaurant Long John Silver (voiced by Jim "demigod" Cummings). Now captured, our heroes are pretty much screwed. Well, until our scurvy antagonists conveniently land on Treasure Island, and they begin a hunt for treasure. One wild goose hunt and mutiny later, it's Horror and Fantasy to the rescue, as they scare away the pirates and rescue Adventure and Rich. Rich begins to whine about not being able to go home, and Adventure storms off pissed, because, well, Adventure's a dick. And in the middle, they lose Horror, who's conveniently captured by the Lilliputians from Gulliver's Travels. After rescuing Horror, it's off to the final world, and the end of this damn film. And since we're in the world of Fantasy, of course we need a song. It's forgettable, so let's just move on.

With the exit in sight, our heroes enter an ominous looking cave.



Except it ain't no cave.

With Rich moments from becoming dragon food, Fantasy summons a magic carpet to save him. But that doesn't stop the dragon from giving chase. Our heroes almost make it to the exit, but the dragon burns up the carpet, sending them crashing far from freedom. As Rich climbs up the tower where the exit is, he runs into a knight's skeleton, and steals his armour and blade. As that's happening, Adventure and Fantasy finally realize that after all the bickering and hate, they actually love one another, as they kiss. Adventure then leaves to distract the dragon, as Rich prepares himself. equipped to fight, Rich is ready to take down the dragon.



Which ends about as well as you'd expect.

But before our hero is digested, he uses a book to create a beanstalk to escape out of the dragon with. He reunites with the books, and the trio ride the beanstalk to the exit. Inside the exit, Rich is once again reuinited with the Douchemaster, and is none too happy about it. Rich lays it into the Pagemaster about having put him through all the crap, and the Pagemaster tells him that this whole thing helped him face his fears. So, he gets away with nearly killing him, but it's okay, since he taught him a valuable lesson. Kinda lopsided moral, but it works. his lesson learned, Rich and the books are transported back into the realm of the live action, where rich is once again greeted by the eccentric perv librarian. Rich checks out the books, and heads home. later that night, he sleeps in his treehouse, no longer a 'fraidy cat of the highest calibur.



And the librarian is murdered by the Libyans. The End.

And that's the Pagemaster. While far from the worst movie ever, it does suffer from lackluster special effects, and pretty generic animation. Add in a rather shoddy, rushed plot, as well as some hammy acting from the likes of Christopher Lloyd, and you have a movie that does suffer. Still, it could've been far worse than it really was I guess. It's tooncrap, but definitely not among the elite.